Do Ladybirds have willies? (Lighthearted)

[mygrandchildrenrock]

Having just pegged my washing out, ladybirds came swarming all over it. Each item of clothing had 3-6 ladybirds on. It made me think about washing being left out overnight and the horror that spider might ‘wipe their willies’ all over it!
YABU -Will my washing be safe
YBNBU -Will I have to re-wash it?!

Often worried that they're wobbly and could snap off!

Thanks for all the good wishes 😍

Has nobody on this thread seen A Bugs Life? Boy ladybirds (ladybugs) get very upset when everyone assumes they're a lady... 😳

They're willies Jim, but not as we know them

Well you’ll all be pleased to hear the washing is in, all bugs shaken out and I really wish Mumsnet would bring back the 😂because I’d have given it to so many of you!

Wait till you hear about female Mallard’s vaginas.

@mygrandchildrenrock , thank you so much for this thread, it's given me such a laugh. We definitely need the 😄 back.
At first my innocent mind ( yeah right ) thought your washing might somehow get spots on it , but after seeing the ladybird porn that @Springflowersyay posted I think you are more right to be worried about their penis's .

I wonder if other shell fish are jealous of barnacles?

Sweetpea , our kind of thread 😂

This would then be classified as 'an acquired taste' for Mumsnetters....

I mean whatever ye're into yourselves really, just try not to type with your mouths full !! ;)

The male of every species has a member. I know this because it brings back an excruciating memory of my late father, who loved all nature programmes, watching a natural history documentary about this very subject at my house. The cameras honed in on each animal for full effect. Dad was engrossed and oblivious. I was mortified. had to leave the room because I really, really did not want to watch such a programme in the company of my fairly elderly father. It was the close up of the snake's appendage that was the last straw for me.

I wonder where they keep it when they're not using it?🤔

Oh, what a glorious thread! What a poignant reminder of our recently-deceased laughter react button!

The argonaut octopus has a detachable penis, which explosively ejects from his face (yes) and swims like a self-guiding missile to the female's mantle, where it burrows in next to her reproductive organ. The male argonaut instantly dies.

I'm not sure it makes this scenario any less creepy to know the female is ten times the size of the male. Also, she can store several sperm-laden penises until she's ready, then fertilise her eggs with all or any of them.

As you live on the coast, OP, best you try not to look like a female argonaut.

I think so

Rolled up like a fireman's hose?

or it shrinks up to a manageable size??

might have to google now!!

anyway, what were you doing thinking about ladybird willies at 4am. Deviant.

🤣🤣🤣

Poor bastard!!

Doesnt even get to enjoy anything before he dies!!

That probably need to be age verified now!!

🤣🤣

I'm not sure about what ladybirds are packing, but I do recall from some useless facts book that the male dog flea has the most complicated penis of any animal 😁

Yh, I was thinking about that (insomnia: random cogitations and unwise online purchases). Octopods have highly developed nervous systems, so I hope he goes out in a blaze of ecstasy as his penis kills him by shooting itself out of his face 😕

😂 I had to Google that, obviously, and thought you'd all enjoy the relevant articles it suggested:

That’s funny. 😆

If you get one crawling on your hand you get that yellow stuff (is it poo?!). That would make me want to wash it again.

Definitely sounds the kind of programme my sister & I would have loved though! (Especially if our brother was squirming in the corner!)
She and I were TERRIBLE after watching a documentary telling us how big a blue whale's p was. The next day at school we... well I better not continue.

It's not barnacles you need to worry about, it's fruit flies. Biggest sperm of any living creature, up to 6cm long. Makes you wonder how they even get off the ground 🤔

OMG! Their sperm are 20 times their body length 😲 "Males have to grow these outrageously large testes and the sperm are all rolled up inside. The testes are about 11 per cent of the male's total body mass."

I'm suddenly jealous of a female fruit fly lol

Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase Billy big balls. 😅

What a fantastically ludicrous thread! I LOVE it! Thanks everyone. Made me giggle. 👏👏👏