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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Anyone else lost a bit of ambition now they’ve been taxed to the brink?

1000 replies

Peasontoastt · 04/07/2025 19:56

I used to be extremely ambitious and was really eager to reach some sort of financial security. As a consequence, I’m in what’s considered a highly paid career, I work hard and it took me many years to train.

Just as I paid off my student loan (which took many years), I then had a baby and returned to work to be stuck with the childcare dilemma. I struggled through that phase and have come out the other side but being taxed so much, no child benefit, still paying for nursery even though dd has ‘free’ hours now. It’s likely that savings are going to be bashed next, so what’s the point in even putting anything aside when there’s likely going to be a 4K cap on ISAs.

I used to feel so ambitious and of course I know money isn’t everything, not by a long shot. But having worked my way up the ladder and with huge responsibilities only to feel penalised financially for doing so…what is the point? Yes I have more financial security than someone claiming benefits but equally, I am not being flippant when I say a few years of resting and being at home and being frugal is starting to seem so much more attractive. Has anyone else started feeling this way? I feel taken the piss out of by every financial angle!

OP posts:
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11
Lioncub2020 · 04/07/2025 21:50

SunnyFTM567 · 04/07/2025 20:04

The UK is very much not a low tax economy 😂

It is for quite a high proportion of the population. For many it is a no tax economy.

WearyAuldWumman · 04/07/2025 21:51

lifeonmars100 · 04/07/2025 21:48

What do you do? Most people I know are on about £28k - £45K and they work hard. They all seem bright and talented but what does a person have to do to earn triple the average wage? Even the couples I know have combined incomes of between £70 and £90K.

In Scotland, those people would be on the intermediate or higher rate.

TwoFeralKids · 04/07/2025 21:51

Hedgehogbrown · 04/07/2025 21:42

I've never understood why people work their arse off to pay for childcare. It's the simple life for me. I want to spend time with my child. I don't have a car, I live in a flat, we still can have holidays and we can just about save. The amount of people I hear about who are on 100k and who moan about it is ridiculous. I would make that money go so far.

Whilst I agree with you you must still have a high income to have holidays and save whilst on I presume one income?

MikeRafone · 04/07/2025 21:52

Then you have fuel where there is VAT and Fuel Duty!

fuel duty was frozen in 2011 and was actually cut recently and then raised again

so a 14 year freeze on fuel duty

NebulousWhistler · 04/07/2025 21:54

guerdyguatd · 04/07/2025 20:06

You must be quite a low energy, unmotivated person if paying taxes makes you less ambitious.

It's really not an unusual feeling, so many overpay pensions or reduce hours to stay under 100k.

Yes, I do both of those things.
And if I didn’t have children I’d move abroad in a heartbeat.

(I have quite high energy generally, although a bit tired today after running a 6k race in 27 minutes yesterday (can you tell I’m feeling quite pleased with myself 😀)).

Lilactimes · 04/07/2025 21:55

TeenagersAngst · 04/07/2025 20:56

Your post is rather misleading as back then, the top rate applied to incomes over £20,000 (equivalent to £263,269 in 2023).

As a PP has said, it’s the tax bands being frozen so long causing fiscal drag which makes people feel less well off. Governments are very sneaky at using this as a less transparent way of increasing the tax take.

I agree with what you’re saying @TeenagersAngst but just querying whether 20k salary in the 80’s was really that much in today’s numbers??
My dad was on 25k back then and I never got a grant he had to pay it - our house cost 25k too. I knew he was on good money and my mum never worked but he was still very careful - didn’t feel like a 250k Pa equivalent salary!

kittensinthekitchen · 04/07/2025 21:56

Sunbeam01 · 04/07/2025 21:49

The thread is about income tax. It's clear I was referring to income tax.

Obviously people pay VAT. That stands to reason.

Over 35 per cent of the population in the UK do not pay any income tax at all.

You're probably one of them.

"You're probably one of them"

🤣

The Carer Support Payment I receive is taxable. The £83.30 in total I receive each week for the almost 24/7 care I provide for two young people with high levels of disability.

Please advise how I can fit in a 40 hour week and private pension and savings and a mortgage, whilst sourcing my loved ones this level of support THEN you can come back with your arsey little fucking moronic assumption of my circumstances.

And any more than a quick glance at the thread shows it to be a conversation about far more than income tax.

WearyAuldWumman · 04/07/2025 21:57

Lilactimes · 04/07/2025 21:55

I agree with what you’re saying @TeenagersAngst but just querying whether 20k salary in the 80’s was really that much in today’s numbers??
My dad was on 25k back then and I never got a grant he had to pay it - our house cost 25k too. I knew he was on good money and my mum never worked but he was still very careful - didn’t feel like a 250k Pa equivalent salary!

I recall that my annual salary as a new teacher in '84 was around 8k. When I got my mortgage in '86, I was allowed a maximum of three times my salary and got a mortgage for 22k.

CeriseKoala · 04/07/2025 21:57

I've been a single parent for 10 years, always worked full time but gone from a wage that still meant I was entitled to UC and really really struggling, to highish earner (especially for my area) and honestly I feel almost proud I now am in the position to pay more tax. I think of all the people who, for a multitude of reasons, will never be able to make the transition I have and I my taxes contribute to supporting them in a small way. I have worked hard but I'm under no illusions that there's a significant amount of luck involved in life. I'm lucky to be academically bright, physically and mentally fairly well, born in a stable country etc etc. It's all about your perspective.

Lilactimes · 04/07/2025 21:59

NebulousWhistler · 04/07/2025 21:54

Yes, I do both of those things.
And if I didn’t have children I’d move abroad in a heartbeat.

(I have quite high energy generally, although a bit tired today after running a 6k race in 27 minutes yesterday (can you tell I’m feeling quite pleased with myself 😀)).

In all the decades I worked - I only ever looked at my take home really. It’s not worth looking at the gross amount - just think of it as funding a teachers salary or a nurse or a care worker or your future pension … Ask for a bonus type scheme for an extra bit of an injection if you feel it’s possible.

Calidrisalba · 04/07/2025 22:01

Promo981 · 04/07/2025 21:43

Go and get a lower paid job and see how that works for you.
I earn over 90k a year and have lost motivation just because I'm in my 40s and don't care, I'm happy to pay my taxes. I also think it's great that when I go over 100k instead of automatically hitting the sticky 60% when I lose my tax free allowance I can pay into my pension and get 40% tax relief.

Yeah, I get the child care stuff is annoying but like I say go and get a 40k job and see how that works for you both financially and from a pressure point of view.

“I also think it's great that when I go over 100k instead of automatically hitting the sticky 60% when I lose my tax free allowance I can pay into my pension and get 40% tax relief.”

How brilliant a country we live in that when you earn very well you can afford to put away for YOUR old age, get tax reduction, and potentially make your salary reduce to a lower band. surely? I know that paying into your pension is available for all, but realistically how many people on lower salaries can afford that.

I know the government want people to pay into pensions and that’s why they allow it, but how much tax take is saved overall - must be huge. All those salary sacrifice schemes allowing “false” salaries and tax savings. People paying into pensions for themselves do they fall beneath, say, threshold for child benefit or whatever.

The freedom and choice the OPs and others’ high salaries give them - work full time, part time, save and have a few years off. How can ambition not work for these things? Freedom of choice is so valuable IMO.

MikeRafone · 04/07/2025 22:02

WearyAuldWumman · 04/07/2025 21:57

I recall that my annual salary as a new teacher in '84 was around 8k. When I got my mortgage in '86, I was allowed a maximum of three times my salary and got a mortgage for 22k.

I wasn't working in 1984 but a friend was a BT engineer and on decent money at £90 a week net and living with his parents, another friend was working as an apprentice and doing day release and taking home similar. These were the days of YOP training at £25 per week which was a very low wage

Goodtick · 04/07/2025 22:03

Agree with you op. Don’t know why you’re getting such a hard time on here. If you know that you’re going to basically get taxed 60% once you cross 100k as you start losing your personal allowance then it does discourage you from wanting to climb the career ladder. Yes, you get more money but unless you put it all in you pension over 100k you are robbed basically! So you do a very hard job, have no work/life balance but your monthly cash in your pocket is capped, so you’re not earning today for the job your busting a gut on.
Adding to this the ISA reductions coming, the fact you can’t get childcare help because you earn too much, list goes on.
I own just over 100k gross, I sometimes think about doing something different so I get more time with my family as the benefits don’t reflect the workload.

Lilactimes · 04/07/2025 22:03

CeriseKoala · 04/07/2025 21:57

I've been a single parent for 10 years, always worked full time but gone from a wage that still meant I was entitled to UC and really really struggling, to highish earner (especially for my area) and honestly I feel almost proud I now am in the position to pay more tax. I think of all the people who, for a multitude of reasons, will never be able to make the transition I have and I my taxes contribute to supporting them in a small way. I have worked hard but I'm under no illusions that there's a significant amount of luck involved in life. I'm lucky to be academically bright, physically and mentally fairly well, born in a stable country etc etc. It's all about your perspective.

I totally agree @CeriseKoala . I was in a very similar position too as a single mum.
I worked hard to fund my life and my DD’s upbringing, paid my way and proud to pay the taxes where necessary and live in a stable country which happens to be full of culture and beautiful! xx

NetZeroZealot · 04/07/2025 22:08

JustPinkFinch · 04/07/2025 21:26

My accountant tries this HMRC motivational bollocks with me (as an absorber). Doesn't work.

I'd much rather be reinvesting that money in growth.

lol. My accountant always apologises when the bill is high.

Lilactimes · 04/07/2025 22:09

Goodtick · 04/07/2025 22:03

Agree with you op. Don’t know why you’re getting such a hard time on here. If you know that you’re going to basically get taxed 60% once you cross 100k as you start losing your personal allowance then it does discourage you from wanting to climb the career ladder. Yes, you get more money but unless you put it all in you pension over 100k you are robbed basically! So you do a very hard job, have no work/life balance but your monthly cash in your pocket is capped, so you’re not earning today for the job your busting a gut on.
Adding to this the ISA reductions coming, the fact you can’t get childcare help because you earn too much, list goes on.
I own just over 100k gross, I sometimes think about doing something different so I get more time with my family as the benefits don’t reflect the workload.

There is a black hole between 100k and 110k… I stayed under 100k for a while deliberately and bought extra leave instead of annual salary increases. I worked very long hours in the private sector with a young child.
At the point where I was offered a sizeable promotion my increase was large enough to leap over this black hole where you lose your personal tax allowance and then the amount per month really did feel worth it.

Boohoo76 · 04/07/2025 22:11

soupyspoon · 04/07/2025 20:02

We are a low tax economy

If you are a low or middle earner we are, not for those of us who are high earners.

Lilactimes · 04/07/2025 22:12

NetZeroZealot · 04/07/2025 22:08

lol. My accountant always apologises when the bill is high.

That VAT never was your money to invest. The plus side if you’re spending and investing you will reduce your VAT bill. But clients aren’t paying you 20% more fees - they are paying a tax.

Goodtick · 04/07/2025 22:12

@Lilactimes thanks for this, what is the magic number to aim at 😊? Yes, think I’m in the black hole and our circumstances were similar

Howdoyouwait · 04/07/2025 22:12

You’re right. A pot washer at a pub now gets paid £30k on min wage in Scotland, a grad gets paid £32k starting wage in London. That didn’t used to be the case. Yes there’s growth as a grad but it’s nothing like what it used to be and you have to work so hard to get to a middle wage income and it’s hard to see how a middle income person gets a middle class life now so it’s hard to justify the work and education difference

BetterWithPockets · 04/07/2025 22:13

HeddaGarbled · 04/07/2025 20:05

My god, the capacity for the privileged to feel hard done by. Taxed to the brink, my arse.

This!

Lilactimes · 04/07/2025 22:19

Goodtick · 04/07/2025 22:12

@Lilactimes thanks for this, what is the magic number to aim at 😊? Yes, think I’m in the black hole and our circumstances were similar

Well around 115k then you start to feel the benefit again. Really there is no benefit between 99k and 110k ish - all of the extra goes in tax.
It’s because you lose your personal tax allowance.

Honestly though if you can buy some extra holiday and then still work hard and push for a bigger promotion in a year or two - over 120k does feel worth it!
Good luck @Goodtick

Lioncub2020 · 04/07/2025 22:19

The envy and jealousy reeks on this thread. If someone works hard to achieve thing the number of people who try and get their grubby little mitts on this is amazing. So many people willing to insult the hand that literally feed them.

echt · 04/07/2025 22:20

Boohoo76 · 04/07/2025 22:11

If you are a low or middle earner we are, not for those of us who are high earners.

That does not mean the economy isn't a low tax one, which is what @soupyspoon said.

Velmy · 04/07/2025 22:20

HeddaGarbled · 04/07/2025 20:05

My god, the capacity for the privileged to feel hard done by. Taxed to the brink, my arse.

'Privileged' is such a bitter insult. You know nothing about OPs circumstances, the sacrifices she's made to give her family a better life, which is slowly being eroded.

If someone is working the same, or longer hours, in the same, or a better job, for an equal, or greater salary, and their quality of life is either declining or stagnant due to the rising COL and taxes, do they not have the right to feel hard done by, just because they're not on the breadline?

We're all told growing up that you'll get out of life what you put in. But many of us are now in a situation where we're putting so much more in, for a tiny amount out. But we're not allowed to be mad about that?

I'm happy to contribute to this country/society via taxes. I shouldn't have to move somewhere in Europe to feel like I'm getting a fair deal, or somewhere in the Middle East to pay nothing at all.

Nobody should be in poverty in a first world country. Everyone should be able to experience more than just 'existing'. Get mad at the people causing the decline, not the people complaining about it who might be in better circumstances than you.

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