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Original poster

Fed up

31 replies

Greaseisthewordd · 04/07/2025 18:16

So I have been asking my ex to do every other weekend and he won’t do it because it will affect his social life. He randomly puts dates into the joint calendar which suit him, he is going away for the weekend on such a date and he told me if I don’t allow the kids to go then he will not pick them up on the day he is supposed to as he will be away (it’s a planned thing with her new gf and her dc). I would be willing to agree to this but he literally does nothing to help me. The fact that he said he wouldn’t pick his kids up on his day because he will be away infuriated me, he is taking them because he has to do it, not because he wants to. After I told him no he then rang my daughter and asked her, he shouldn’t have done that.

OP posts:
Gurgletum · 04/07/2025 18:18

Why would you want to subject your children to spending time with some who doesn’t give a damn about them?

how old are the children in question?

NotAntisocialJustSelectivelySocial · 04/07/2025 18:20

Why are the kids not allowed to go?
It sounds like you are using them to punish him.
It’s the kids that are then missing out. They’ll eventually figure out he’s a shit father and it will all come back to bite him on the arse at some point.

MuckFusk · 04/07/2025 18:22

Greaseisthewordd · 04/07/2025 18:16

So I have been asking my ex to do every other weekend and he won’t do it because it will affect his social life. He randomly puts dates into the joint calendar which suit him, he is going away for the weekend on such a date and he told me if I don’t allow the kids to go then he will not pick them up on the day he is supposed to as he will be away (it’s a planned thing with her new gf and her dc). I would be willing to agree to this but he literally does nothing to help me. The fact that he said he wouldn’t pick his kids up on his day because he will be away infuriated me, he is taking them because he has to do it, not because he wants to. After I told him no he then rang my daughter and asked her, he shouldn’t have done that.

The less the kids see of this selfish cunt the better if you ask me.
Is the custody schedule court ordered? If so then he has to stick to it and needs a good reason to change it, not just for the sake of his social convenience. If it's not court ordered then maybe that's what you need.

Original poster
Greaseisthewordd · 04/07/2025 18:24

NotAntisocialJustSelectivelySocial · 04/07/2025 18:20

Why are the kids not allowed to go?
It sounds like you are using them to punish him.
It’s the kids that are then missing out. They’ll eventually figure out he’s a shit father and it will all come back to bite him on the arse at some point.

Because it is always on his terms which isn’t fair on them.

OP posts:
Original poster
Greaseisthewordd · 04/07/2025 18:25

MuckFusk · 04/07/2025 18:22

The less the kids see of this selfish cunt the better if you ask me.
Is the custody schedule court ordered? If so then he has to stick to it and needs a good reason to change it, not just for the sake of his social convenience. If it's not court ordered then maybe that's what you need.

Edited
Show quote history

It isn’t court ordered. He won’t even agree to one Friday a month as he is busy. The fact that the trip is planned anyway and he won’t be picking the kids up on his day just made me realise what a selfish person he is.

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 04/07/2025 18:26

It sounds as though this needs to be formalised through the courts.

Original poster
Greaseisthewordd · 04/07/2025 18:26

NotAntisocialJustSelectivelySocial · 04/07/2025 18:20

Why are the kids not allowed to go?
It sounds like you are using them to punish him.
It’s the kids that are then missing out. They’ll eventually figure out he’s a shit father and it will all come back to bite him on the arse at some point.

I am not using them to punish him, why would I do that? He just doesn’t get to pick and choose what suits him.

OP posts:
Gurgletum · 04/07/2025 18:27

How old is your daughter op?

Gurgletum · 04/07/2025 18:27

I’m guessing the children are very keen to go

Original poster
Greaseisthewordd · 04/07/2025 18:32

Gurgletum · 04/07/2025 18:27

How old is your daughter op?

8

OP posts:
Original poster
Greaseisthewordd · 04/07/2025 18:32

Gurgletum · 04/07/2025 18:27

I’m guessing the children are very keen to go

No she said do I have to go?

OP posts:
anyzen · 04/07/2025 18:35

He should be organising his social life around a Court Ordered schedule, not the way he's doing it now.

I'd go for a court ordered arrangement. That'll sort the bugger out, and help keep you sane in the process.

Original poster
Greaseisthewordd · 04/07/2025 18:38

anyzen · 04/07/2025 18:35

He should be organising his social life around a Court Ordered schedule, not the way he's doing it now.

I'd go for a court ordered arrangement. That'll sort the bugger out, and help keep you sane in the process.

That is it. He is so selfish I can’t even believe he is like this (infact I can as I left the bugga)

OP posts:
Original poster
Greaseisthewordd · 04/07/2025 18:39

I literally never get any time to myself (not that I am complaining) I’m either working or with the kids as that is what he has chose, why should I bend over backwards to facilitate him when he doesn’t give a damn about me.

OP posts:
Original poster
Greaseisthewordd · 04/07/2025 18:40

Gurgletum · 04/07/2025 18:18

Why would you want to subject your children to spending time with some who doesn’t give a damn about them?

how old are the children in question?

8 and 5

OP posts:
Gurgletum · 04/07/2025 18:45

Greaseisthewordd · 04/07/2025 18:32

No she said do I have to go?

Show quote history

so she doesn’t want to go
so…. She doesn’t go

and he’s said he won’t do the agreed day…. Which is good. Means your children don’t spend time with a selfish twat that they don’t want to spend time with.

win win

MuckFusk · 04/07/2025 19:16

Greaseisthewordd · 04/07/2025 18:25

It isn’t court ordered. He won’t even agree to one Friday a month as he is busy. The fact that the trip is planned anyway and he won’t be picking the kids up on his day just made me realise what a selfish person he is.

Show quote history

In which case, as I said, it's probably better he not see the kids. He's not going to take good care of them.

failedatlifee · 04/07/2025 19:25

Not sure why people are suggesting court, they can’t make an uninterested father step up and will only mean the op has to make the children available on those days he doesn’t have to show up

Gurgletum · 04/07/2025 19:33

MuckFusk · 04/07/2025 19:16

In which case, as I said, it's probably better he not see the kids. He's not going to take good care of them.

Show quote history

Exactly

I know you want a break op but your children going to this kind of person is not the solution

Original poster
Greaseisthewordd · 04/07/2025 21:16

failedatlifee · 04/07/2025 19:25

Not sure why people are suggesting court, they can’t make an uninterested father step up and will only mean the op has to make the children available on those days he doesn’t have to show up

He doesn’t have to show up?

OP posts:
Original poster
Greaseisthewordd · 04/07/2025 21:16

My daughter didn’t go to his house this week as she didn’t want to, he had to bring her home.

OP posts:
failedatlifee · 04/07/2025 21:22

Court can’t make him have them, a court order just means you have to make them available but it can’t force him to turn up and if he does nothing will happen as that’s how court orders work the onus is on the RP to make the children available for contact. There is no consequences if he doesn’t take up the contact offered.

Thebear83 · 05/07/2025 06:30

Greaseisthewordd · 04/07/2025 21:16

My daughter didn’t go to his house this week as she didn’t want to, he had to bring her home.

and yet you’re pissed off that he doesn’t have the children more?

Thebear83 · 05/07/2025 06:32

MuckFusk · 04/07/2025 18:22

The less the kids see of this selfish cunt the better if you ask me.
Is the custody schedule court ordered? If so then he has to stick to it and needs a good reason to change it, not just for the sake of his social convenience. If it's not court ordered then maybe that's what you need.

Edited
Show quote history

He doesn’t “have” to stick to anything

No court (thankfully) in the land would force a parent to see their child.

Thebear83 · 05/07/2025 06:34

Greaseisthewordd · 04/07/2025 21:16

He doesn’t have to show up?

Show quote history

of course he doesn’t “have to show up”
he’s a useless twat. No court is going to force a parent to “show up”

come on op… engage brain

On the one hand you say how useless he is and how desperate your young daughter is not to see her father, but on the other you seem very keen for him to have the children much more than he currently does to give you a break

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