Dog and baby; not sure what to do for the best

[Hellskitchen24]

I’ll try and keep this short.

7 week old newborn baby and almost 10 year old dog (large breed, German Shepherd). I’ve had the dog since was a puppy. Long story short, she’s not really adapted to the baby in the way I’ve hoped, in fact quite the opposite.

Dog and baby are kept separate at all times. I have a very robust room divider. And various doors/gates.

The dog generally ignores the baby in my arms when I’m standing or sitting with her. In fact I would say she actively avoids us. It’s when the baby cries she’s interested. If the baby is on the sofa next to me and moving around, particularly if she starts crying, the dog will hard stare at her (through the gate; the room is divided with the gate). She has also tried to jump towards myself and the baby when putting her into the pram. And has also tried hard pressing her muzzle up against the pram trying to see what is inside it.

Basically, my instinct is telling me I don’t trust her. This is manageable while the baby is immobile but I’m concerned for when the baby starts moving. Has anyone else been in this situation? What did you do?

You definitely need to get a dog behaviourist In asap. The longer you live like this the worse it’s going to get. You’ve gone from your dog presumably being your world and baby to shutting it in another room.

You need to know from a professional what exactly is going on here and if your dog is actually a danger or if you’re being an over protective anxious first time mum.

Muzzle the dog, lead on, have your partner hold the lead and allow safe exploration with boundaries.

It sounds like you’ve decided you don’t want the dog so if that is the case that’s up to you, but to jump to rehoming after 10 years (and be realistic, a 10 year old dog who is attached to you is going to be put to sleep rather than rehomed) when it doesn’t sound like you have even bothered to get a trainer or behaviourist in is madness.

We have a 4 year old Labrador and had a trainer come while I was pregnant to help us help him prepare, playing crying, getting baby bits out, tips on safely introducing them & keeping both safe etc. If I had any concerns I’d have her come straight back to observe & provide guidance.

Exactly - good!

We have photos of the kids ( 2 years old) sitting on a huge German Shepherd ( 10 years old) and 'revving' his ears like a motorbike..

OP why are you even asking this, you KNOW you must get rid of the dog. You will never forgive yourself (and neither should you) if anything was to happen after you have had these concerns. Your job as a parent is to protect your baby - do it before something awful happens.

You have turned this poor dogs life upside down, segregated it from its pack, not allowed it to get used to the baby in a safe, controlled way and without bothering to make any effort to fix the problem (which seems to largely consist of your fears in what might happen, rather than anything concrete) you’ve pretty much already decided the dog has to go…..

What exercise is the dog getting now? What mental stimulation? Time with its family - how much?
You need a behaviourist to assess. Obviously the safety of your baby comes first. But tbh it sounds like you can’t be arsed with the dog anymore and have no interest in trying to integrate her into your new, expanded family

Everyone who's saying "rehome the dog", have you any idea how difficult this is? Rescues are overflowing, GSD rescue probably have a long waiting list and hopefully OP wouldn't advertise "free to good home". Best hope is friends or family.

I also agree with getting a behaviourist to assess the situation. It could be your dog is understandably curious about the new arrival and not a threat at all. It's also perfectly normal for a dog to want to investigate a crying baby just as it would a crying puppy. I would also couple the presence of the baby with a tasty treat and praise for your dog so that your dog associates the presence of the baby with positive things and doesn't feel pushed out.
We had a German Shepherd when we were kids and she was very protective of us. A cousin of mine and her husband raised their 3 children with a GSD and they now have grandchildren and a GSD. They've only seen protective behaviour from their dogs too.

Please consult a behaviourist before making a decision.

Absolute no-brainer imho... baby comes first... you'll have to re-home the dog i guess, but (to my mind) there is no question or debate to be had here. 👍

No doubt another of those “he won’t bite you - he’d lick you to death” dogs!
When I see these “ adorable” you tube videos of tiny babies cuddled up with huge dogs, and come of “aaah” I go cold!

Totally agree! They are all the “before” photos to the “after” where a baby has died or a child permanently disfigured. Just because it hasn’t happened with your dog/children, doesn’t mean it isn’t an unnecessary risk.

At least get a reputable force free behaviourist and trainer to come and see her so that you can make an informed decision without regrets.

Yep, I bloody hate those videos and all the talk of dogs whose children ‘could do anything with their dog’
Invariably those of us who know and understand dog body language are cringing at the stress signals the poor dog is giving and the potential for harm. Parents who allow their kids to abuse dogs in this way should be called out for their stupid and downright dangerous disregard for the safety of both the dogs and the children. Instead people share videos and boast of the cuteness 😫

What the hell is the point in getting a behaviourist, they won’t be able to give an absolute guarantee the dog won’t attack the child.

Agree - if anything you run the risk of being lured into a false sense of security

It sounds like you've jumped to worst case scenario of the dog has to go without doing any of the steps before that?! I wouldn't introduce them without a professional, you need the first intro to be positive but it should have been done straight away.

As others have said, in the interim you need to ensure dog is getting plenty of exercise and fuss to minimise behaviour problems.

If it was a young small breed dog, I’d say rehome the dog in this situation, as it’d likely be fairly easy to find a new home. But who is going to take a 10 year old German Shepherd? I think that’s going to be tricky one.

We have to keep our 2 dogs separated from our toddler as they hate her (they were not keen even when she was a baby either and it’s only gotten worse as DC got more active). They are smaller breeds than yours but also 10 years old as well and one of them with expensive health problems to boot - so little chance they’d get a new home. It’s not ideal but they do still enjoy life as they have free roam of the house in the evenings once toddler is in bed and plenty of attention/cuddles from us then, plus each other for company during the day in the garden/utility as well as their walks.

Sadly unless you can find a good new home for the dog yourself OP, I think you’ve only got those 2 choices - shut dog away with little attention while baby is active/awake (and just give dog as much attention as you can at the times when baby is sleeping) or PTS. As it sounds like your instincts tell you that dog just isn’t safe around baby- and I’d listen to your instincts.

I don’t understand this argument. Nothing in life is an absolute guarantee, if we only did things where there was an absolute guarantee of safety then nobody would ever do anything.

There’s no absolute guarantee that when I drive a drunk driver won’t slam into my car and kill me in seconds, but I still do it.

There’s no absolute guarantee that when I get on a plane to go on holiday it won’t crash and die, I still do it.

Every single thing in life has some level of risk, life is about assessing that risk, measuring it and then acting accordingly to minimise it further.