Dog and baby; not sure what to do for the best

[Hellskitchen24]

I’ll try and keep this short.

7 week old newborn baby and almost 10 year old dog (large breed, German Shepherd). I’ve had the dog since was a puppy. Long story short, she’s not really adapted to the baby in the way I’ve hoped, in fact quite the opposite.

Dog and baby are kept separate at all times. I have a very robust room divider. And various doors/gates.

The dog generally ignores the baby in my arms when I’m standing or sitting with her. In fact I would say she actively avoids us. It’s when the baby cries she’s interested. If the baby is on the sofa next to me and moving around, particularly if she starts crying, the dog will hard stare at her (through the gate; the room is divided with the gate). She has also tried to jump towards myself and the baby when putting her into the pram. And has also tried hard pressing her muzzle up against the pram trying to see what is inside it.

Basically, my instinct is telling me I don’t trust her. This is manageable while the baby is immobile but I’m concerned for when the baby starts moving. Has anyone else been in this situation? What did you do?

' ... get rid of the dog ....' ffs- this is why I'd choose my dog over a human being any day.

Well if you think the safety of a baby doesn't trump a dog, then I think we are all very thankful you have chosen dogs over children. Win win.

My dog was a bit funny around my daughter for a few weeks. Basically acted like she was a baby animal who he wouldn't mind eating. Then he went through a period of sulking/withdrawing when I held her. I just made sure I still gave him loads of positive attention whenever I could and praised him for any positive behaviour around the baby. Now they are best friends. Have you changed your behaviour towards your dog? Are you giving her plenty of attention or have you just shut her in another room? Are you rewarding good behaviour? It's a massive change for your dog as well as you, she needs to feel like she's still part of the family. 'Just get rid of the dog' attitude makes me really sad.

I think that when your baby comes home all instincts are on overdrive and this is normal. I would get a behaviourist in. Showing interest at the pram or crying is normal.

It's often recommended to do pram and cry noise training before baby arrives with dog for this reason.

Have you kept to your dogs routine? Given 1 on 1 attention in evenings and a new toy and good treats to help ease the transition?

I would suggest get a behaviourist in, a decent one not a trainer and also record some of the behaviours. German Shepherds are fiercely loyal to their families and i think that with a second opinion and time to adapt it would be fine... You can get a behaviourist in days. Ours we got before the birth to do an assessment and offer advice was £50 for one hour with follow up phone call and training notes.

You “feel you owe it to her to persist longer”? Doesn’t sound like you care about this dog at all. You clearly have made up your mind you want her gone.

The only examples you’ve given is that she is interested in the baby? Of course she would be interested. Has she even displayed any aggression at all?

I really don’t think it is as simple as get rid of the dog.

but I do think baby and mums instincts have to come first. If OP cannot safely get baby into pram, she cannot walk dog, situation gets worse.

lots of people have dogs and rehome that shouldn’t, so many examples here, others find them self in a situation where for both the dog and baby something has to change.

im a tenant farmer wife, we have multiple working dogs, and I have terriers and spaniels.

I had one terrier, show dog, I rehomed. Adored her. Due to it being a tennant farm the landlord last year increased the shoots locally, she hated it.

she took to blind bolting, destructive behaviour, proper stress. This is a dog who had been in my home for all of my babies, a true mother and angel. She was TELLING me something.

i “rehomed” or lent her to a lady who is the warden in a nursing home. She is absolutely thriving. I had always taken her there anyway, she just wants to spend her days being cuddled. But will react badly to any bang type noise. she was my visit dog anyway. A sort of volunteer role we took on when my gran was in for a short stay before she passed.

i still see her, she is happy, the children are safe, she adores her new home.

‘Hard stare from dog to dog’ with a stiff body, is a threat. It’s hard to tell from that you have described what exactly the type of stare you are articulating meant. Many dogs will be interested in a baby crying - my Newfoundland certainly is! She has never shown any aggression towards a human (my kids were older when I got her), Saying that, the most aggressive dog I have dealt with was one of my Pugs. I suspect he was poked in the eye by accident from a child and although I was sitting behind him at the time, and lifted him up on the air straight away and out of the room, it happened in a literal flash so I missed the trigger. Canine behaviour is my hobby and passion (I’m not a qualified behaviourist but have studied it for years and attended courses). In your situation I’d be inclined to get a good behaviourist in first. Just because you have had the dog years doesn’t mean that you understand the complexities of canine body language. They can help you. As a German Shepherd, I’d assume she has herding instincts and that in itself will make her want to round all her humans up and protect them as she is bred to do. I feel for you as I’ve been through similar situations when fostering dogs, too. Ultimately I have rehomed one (foreign rescue who at 5 months old started resource guarding which is such a common problem when they’ve had to protect that they have, to survive), anyway I didn’t trust him around my son so found him a fab new home on a farm where he thrived. Much harder after 10 years though. Make sure the behaviourist is an IMDT or APDT qualified and not just a dog ‘trainer’ though - the two are very different but many qualify in both. Good luck 🤞

Get rid of the dog? Says it all how you feel about your dog - I feel sorry for the poor thing!

One of my dogs thinks anyone being picked up (in any circumstances) is being kidnapped and he yaps like crazy to alert everyone else to the kidnapping.

He also does not Iike raised voices of any kind. He tells us that too. He would not know what to do with a baby crying, or being ‘kidnapped’ and put into a pram.

However, nobody would consider rehoming him because he weighs about 2kg wet through and has the face of an angel.

Your dog might be having similar thought processes and just be worried about the baby, but because she is a large and powerful breed it’s (understandably) worrying you. If you have her and loved her for ten years, please don’t write her off. Get a behaviourist to give their professional opinion.

Realistically, a 10 yr old GSD isn’t going to be rehomed. You know that op. “Get rid of the dog” is just awful as is “I should probably get a behaviourist”. You think? FFS. Poor dog. Both the dog and the baby were your choice. Neither are disposable.

We got a romanian rescue dog a few months before i found out I was pregnant with twins, so only had about a year when they were born. He was scared of men and children, hated going walks etc. Once the babies were here it was so stressful , I was extremely paranoid he would harm them. He would stare at them when crying too. I really thought I would have to give him up as the stress and worry was unreal. We ended up getting a dog trainer in(apparently they're never too old) and kept baby gates on rooms and used the dog crate. Three years later he absolutely loves the twins and is so gentle with them. Having said that I still wouldn't leave him alone with them and the kids know they must be gentle with him. But that's the same for any dog, they shouldn't be left alone with children no matter how long you've had them or how gentle they seem. As for the baby gates, I know they're a hassle but you'll need them when the baby is mobile anyway. If you do feel that the baby is af risk though then of course they're your priority. Maybe speak to a dog trainer and wait till your out the fourth trimester when everything does seem harder anyway

Totally agree. And the baby gates thing here. My youngest is four, going on 14. And we still have them. To give the dogs peace now.

it never ends. It always has to be balanced.

No one has said the safety of the baby is at risk, the dog is interested in the new human in the house, and the strange sound it makes.

As PP have said, get a behaviourist in, you could be reading the dogs language wrong. You've had her for 10 years, you owe it to her to try. Rehoming a 10 year old large breed dog is going to be very difficult, and she could live out her senior years in a shelter.

Your gut is telling you what to do and please listen to it before too late! I know you've had your dog a long time and it's hard but this is your child. Is there a friend or family member or could have her?

You haven’t really said what you’ve done to help the dog adapt to the baby? Sounds like you’ve just shut her out. Don’t get me wrong, I’m no expert on dogs and exposure to babies but I’ve been involved in exposing dogs to social situations and there are ways of doing it using positive rewards (I’m not suggesting for one minute that you allow the dog access at this point but a behaviourist should be able to help you)

Nobody can say without seeing the interaction. I think my Lab knew I was pregnant, I played baby crying sounds, got him used to the equipment. The day DD came home I fussed my dog whilst DH held DD. Then my dog was allowed to sniff baby’s feet. He would go to sleep with his head on the edge of her bouncer. He was so gentle.
They were best buddies until he passed away this year.

Did you do any introductions? Has your dog seen or heard a child before?

You’ve made your baby some kind of little secret of noise and scent, exciting! your dog is probably thinking wtf have you got there, let me see! You’ve made into a ‘thing’ now, he’s probably hyper alert/aroused. Not suggesting you let him meet baby at this point, sounds like that ship has sailed.
Could try a behaviourist, could try letting the dog sniff the baby’s crib, blankets (not with your child in the crib obviously).

Seven weeks is very early, and he’s not really done anything except be curious? I have a rescue dog, and I’ve had two babies now. I never had baby gates, he sat on my lap while I fed the babies. I think they are interested in new babies, probably curious and nervous. We always made sure our dog got lots of walks, lots of affection and attention and games.
The toddler and baby (who’s now 1 ) are now best friends with our dog, and we’ve been so rigid with the kids in respecting his space, not poking and pulling him, approaching him properly etc. occasionally we can see when he’s had enough and just take them away. Bit they now play games hiding treats for him and running with him and it’s really sweet.

I guess I don’t really see what your dog has done wrong at this point, and indifferent is pretty good. We have had a behaviourist pre kids, and they were very good at reading the body language. Would definitely recommend getting one. Realistically it’s not going to be a good outcome for a 10 year old German shepherd

German shepherds normally good family dogs. She might not be being aggressive but confused and curious, she’s never seen or heard a baby before. I would try the behaviouralist. I hope this works out happily for you all 🙏

Dog behaviourist asap.

I WISH we did this 4 yrs ago whe we had our baby 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

If it doesnt work... you need to rehome.
It's tough but the right call.

I agree. It doesn’t sound like much of a life for the dog, you or the baby. It’s got to go. Sorry it must be really hard x

All the best x

God Almighty! Have you actually introduced the dog to the baby?
You bring a noisy smelly strange creature into the home he has had for 10 years and you put physical barriers up all over the place... then wonder why he is curious?
The first thing I did when I came home from the hospital after having my babies was go into the hiuse alone, got on the floor and greeted my dog.. he went crazy cos he hadnt seen me for 10 days!
When he calmed down I got a baby and put it on the floor on a blanket and lay down beside them both. He sniffed all over and I petted and talked to him.
For the rest of his life he absolutely doted on his 'sisters' and they had lots of fun together.
Show your dog some thought and respect.. honestly I cannot believe the replies to this post.

.. oh ... and the baby gates were only ever for the kids!!

What sort of dog do you have though? Mine is very attached to me. I’ve had to rehome a previous dog (luckily to family) because they were fighting. She also has no experience of babies or even children. So surely you can see why I wouldn’t risk putting a baby on the floor near her? She’s not a cutesy golden retriever. She’s a working type GSD with a strong personality.

The dog has sniffed the babies feet and obviously all her things, but I am too anxious for anything beyond that. My thoughts would be what if the dog grabbed the baby etc I’d never forgive myself.