Page 10 | why is called the SCs home when it isn't?

Namechangean · 04/07/2025 16:37

TalulaHalulah · 04/07/2025 16:33

I understand that.
I disagree that someone living with their GF in her house and seeing their DC two or three nights a fortnight is providing them with a home.

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It’s not about ‘providing them’ a home which sounds really value based. It’s simply that their dads home is theirs too. No child should ever feel like a guest in their dads home

CaptainMyCaptain · 04/07/2025 16:42

cardycard · 04/07/2025 16:01

Set up is rather different if both parents own the property. In a situation where the woman owns the property and he moves in and sees his children there at times, it is more a temporary home.

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Presumably she invited him to live there which makes it his home. She can ask him to leave then it is no longer his home. Who pays for what is something they need to sort out between them.

Kchs232 · 04/07/2025 16:43

Why do you want it so badly not to be considered the children's home too when they are staying with their Dad?

If you care enough about this man to let him live with you then his kids come part of the package. Yes you could kick him out whenever you wanted as he has no legal claim to the property, but if you are in a happy relationship and want him to live with you then kids come as part of that. Yes it should be considered their "home" too when they are there, anywhere their dad is living is also their home. However temporary.

Alltheyellowbirds · 04/07/2025 16:44

wordler · 04/07/2025 16:33

I think the main difference in this scenario is that it’s a romantic partner moving in to make a home with the person who owns the house. The intention is usually permanent for most people. It becomes the Dad’s home, therefore it becomes the children’s home.

If the intention was temporary then I could see thinking of it as just staying at Dad’s girlfriend’s house.

So if Dad is just moving in for six months while he’s getting building work done on his own house then Dad and kids are ‘staying’ with girlfriend but their home is Dad’s house.

It would be like temporarily staying with your aunt for a few months while you were between houses - you might make yourself at home but you wouldn’t think if it as your home, you’d think of it as your aunt’s home that she was nice enough to let you use.

However if the two adults have decided to move in together and create a home together then when kids come they are living there too. When you decide to live with a person with children you are part of a family home.

This is exactly it.

Miyagi99 · 04/07/2025 16:45

cardycard · 04/07/2025 15:48

Yes they are temporary but there is much more stability if your name is on the rental agreement or the house as opposed to I live there so it is mine and my children's home.

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No one is saying that that’s not more stable though.

CaptainMyCaptain · 04/07/2025 16:49

'My house' = "I own or rent it'.
'My home' = 'I live there'.

The financial details are for the couple to decide. If the house owner can't accept the SC they shouldn't have the parent living there.

Petitchat · 04/07/2025 16:50

I wonder if OP is enjoying keeping us all guessing, as to what her situation is?

I used to have a grandad who did this sort of thing all the time. Used to drive my dad bonkers !! 😂

Didshejustsaythatoutloud · 04/07/2025 16:52

MaggiesShadow · 04/07/2025 16:05

It's pretty clear he/she is on a wind up!

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There's a lot of people needing to take up a hobby on this site eh 😂

MaggiesShadow · 04/07/2025 16:53

Didshejustsaythatoutloud · 04/07/2025 16:52

There's a lot of people needing to take up a hobby on this site eh 😂

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Apparently so! 😅

Ponderingwindow · 04/07/2025 16:56

the father’s home is always the child’s home.

a man who moves his children into a precarious living situation isn’t a very good father. The woman choosing to live with him should really think about her choice in boyfriend. Why does she want to be with a man that thinks it is ok to move into housing that he and his children could be kicked out of with no warning?

if it is time for cohabitation, it should be done as equals.

SunnySideDeepDown · 04/07/2025 16:58

cardycard · 04/07/2025 13:28

So because he moves in with someone into a house that he did not pay for, then suddenly it becomes his childrens home too?

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Yes. Simple as that. Father’s home = his child’s home. Don’t like it, don’t live with the man.

Notreallyme27 · 04/07/2025 17:06

cardycard · 04/07/2025 14:03

It is a temporary home I guess as if the relationship ends the father nor his children can stay there anymore. It was never really theirs to begin with.

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Interesting question. Take the kids out of the equation. Do you see the same place as the man’s home?

Citroenc1 · 04/07/2025 17:08

cardycard · 04/07/2025 12:55

I keep seeing this scenario.

Woman with her own house. She is paying for the bills. Her DP moves in. His kids come EOW. Why do so many people say it is the SC's home?

Surely the fathers home is also the DC's home even though they don't stay full time. By your logic, the DM's home isn't their home neither as they are not there full time either. Where is their home???

DaisyChain505 · 04/07/2025 17:08

cardycard · 04/07/2025 14:51

How long should it be kept secret from them?

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Let me guess, you’re the mother of these children and you’re trying to stop your Ex from having the children at his new home that he lives in with his new partner (the home owner)
and you’re using the argument that it isn’t a home provided by him so they can’t stay there?

Citroenc1 · 04/07/2025 17:10

cardycard · 04/07/2025 13:30

Just living somewhere makes it the children's home even though the child's father contributed nothing?

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Its their home i.e. as in a place they live. They don't own the place.

Suednymph · 04/07/2025 17:13

Interesting. I bought my home with my ex husband and his kids had a room here and stayed every weekend. He moved out and decided I could not see his kids anymore (cos he is a dick) and then I bought him out so no longer the kids home. I called it their home when they stayed here and we were married though.

Just thinking now if I moved a man in and his kids stayed would I call it their home or not... i possibly not if they were only here every second weekend for a night or so although I wouldnt call it his home either. Im gonna be single forever I think....

MellowPinkDeer · 04/07/2025 17:15

Not read the thread but this is typical MN , the step children are golden angels and any women who meets a man with kids should provide for them and do all the things their dad should do, but not parent , not overstep and not consider herself important to the step kids.

it’s shitty. Dads who move into other peoples homes and take their kids without contributing are the worst kind of cocklodgers.

viques · 04/07/2025 17:17

cardycard · 04/07/2025 13:30

Just living somewhere makes it the children's home even though the child's father contributed nothing?

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It is one of their homes, their other home is with their mother.

Slowdownyouredoingfine · 04/07/2025 17:19

I see this is a hill you’re willing to die on op, a sad, lonely, bitter hill. Enjoy 🥂 As ever… poor kids.

Original poster

cardycard · 04/07/2025 17:22

Slowdownyouredoingfine · 04/07/2025 17:19

I see this is a hill you’re willing to die on op, a sad, lonely, bitter hill. Enjoy 🥂 As ever… poor kids.

😂

OP posts:

purpleygrey · 04/07/2025 17:23

What a strange thought. My Nan has never paid a bill in her life. Doesn’t mean the house she lives in isn’t her home.

Original poster

cardycard · 04/07/2025 17:24

Citroenc1 · 04/07/2025 17:08

Surely the fathers home is also the DC's home even though they don't stay full time. By your logic, the DM's home isn't their home neither as they are not there full time either. Where is their home???

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It is not about staying full time. Fine for it to be the DF or DM's home but if the parents move into someone else's home, then does it automatically
become the children's home?

OP posts:

Original poster

cardycard · 04/07/2025 17:25

purpleygrey · 04/07/2025 17:23

What a strange thought. My Nan has never paid a bill in her life. Doesn’t mean the house she lives in isn’t her home.

Is her name on the property?

It is not just about paying bills. Such a strange thought.

OP posts:

CheerUpPeterReid · 04/07/2025 17:27

cardycard · 04/07/2025 17:25

Is her name on the property?

It is not just about paying bills. Such a strange thought.

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No stranger than your thoughts today OP.

Alltheyellowbirds · 04/07/2025 17:28

cardycard · 04/07/2025 17:24

It is not about staying full time. Fine for it to be the DF or DM's home but if the parents move into someone else's home, then does it automatically
become the children's home?

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Why do you keep asking the same question over and over? Have you even read the responses people have taken the time to write?

Why don’t you just explain your actual situation then people can give more specific advice.