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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to feel self concious? DH seems to think so

51 replies

loopsaloo · 03/07/2025 13:30

Hi all. SS nearly 24 lives with me and DH full time,
which is a whole different bugbear - this is just my latest issue.
I have BIG boobs. I would like to be able to sit in my living room at night in just a thin cotton nightie, I’m menopausal and the flashes are horrible- the warm weather isn’t helping.
I don’t feel like I’m being silly by feeling very self conscious. DH said “he probably won’t even notice” but I feel soooo uncomfortable.
what would you ladies do?

OP posts:
Chiseltip · 03/07/2025 13:32

🙄

TheCurious0range · 03/07/2025 13:33

Give him a flash, he might move out

DiamondThrone · 03/07/2025 13:41

Get yourself a nice kaftan. I waft around in one in the hot weather, they're great.

Or, kick your SS out.

pikkumyy77 · 03/07/2025 13:43

I couldn’t be having that.

Original poster
loopsaloo · 03/07/2025 13:53

Boobs aren’t what they were so I feel like I have to be wearing a bra.

OP posts:
Changetheguardsboots · 03/07/2025 14:00

Jesus it's only boobs. Im sure he's seen some before and he definitely not interested in yours (no offence meant by that)

PhilosophicalCheeseSandwich · 03/07/2025 14:09

He will have no interest in your knockers. Would you try to glimpse your mother or MIL's untethered tits through a nightie?

DiscoBob · 03/07/2025 14:10

I do doubt he's checking out your boobs.
It's your house, wear whatever makes you comfortable.
Unless the SS has form for being a peeping Tom or fancying you I'd say you'll probably be alright.

skippy67 · 03/07/2025 14:28

loopsaloo · 03/07/2025 13:53

Boobs aren’t what they were so I feel like I have to be wearing a bra.

So wear one then.

Jane958 · 03/07/2025 14:32

I always thought they were called hot flushes, maybe language has evolved towards being more American?
Anyway, I do not see the issue if you in your own home.
However, why not seek advice from your GP/HRT if suitable, to alleviate the situation?

mrsm43s · 03/07/2025 14:35

Wear whatever you want to wear. Personally I'd be fine (big) bra less and menopausal in front of my family, but if you're not, then wear what you are comfortable in. This is very much a "you" problem - don't try to put in on DSS. He will be completely oblivious to your boobs, your attire and your hot flushes. From a sexual point of view, I can almost guarantee as a semi - related older menopausal woman you're completely invisible to him!

Noshadelamp · 03/07/2025 14:41

Rather than a thin cotton nightie or having to wear a bra, would you consider a cotton t shirt?
I wear patterned cotton t shirts and loose pj pants in the house if any of our young adult dcs are around. I know they're my own DCs but I still feel self conscious.

I've found that anything with a pattern, especially darker colours, helps break up the outline of nipples poking through.

I'm not a animal print person usually but I guess it's camouflage for a reason!

Limth · 03/07/2025 14:43

Life's too fucking short.

Wear what you want in your own home.

If SS has an issue with your bangers, he can find his own place.

Octavia64 · 03/07/2025 14:43

Kaftan or light cotton dress.

honestly I live in these kinds of clothes in the summer.

Jamesblonde2 · 03/07/2025 14:44

Mmm i think they need containing. What if someone comes to the door?

Elmo230885 · 03/07/2025 14:45

Jamesblonde2 · 03/07/2025 14:44

Mmm i think they need containing. What if someone comes to the door?

No-one on Mumsnet ever answers the door to anyone so I don't think that's a problem.

1willgetthere · 03/07/2025 14:46

I wear these round the house https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07M9BQRNT?ref=cmswrcsocpmwndp0FVHG5F1VG65CXHV44K7

I'm large chested too and I find them comfier than going bra less, so may be worth a try

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 03/07/2025 14:46

I’d buy some nice floaty dresses that I felt less self conscious in. You just need something that makes you feel comfortable both physically and mentally, if thin nighty doesn’t tick both boxes try something different. In an ideal world you wouldn’t care, but I think I’d feel the same in your position.

PuppiesProzacProsecco · 03/07/2025 14:50

1willgetthere · 03/07/2025 14:46

I wear these round the house https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07M9BQRNT?ref=cmswrcsocpmwndp0FVHG5F1VG65CXHV44K7

I'm large chested too and I find them comfier than going bra less, so may be worth a try

Edited

I second these - I'm a 32F and have about 20 of these. They're surprisingly supportive. I'm not comfortable around the house braless especially as DH runs a business from home that can involve regular evening/morning door knocks.

alexalisten · 03/07/2025 14:51

No offence op but he will likely just see you as some old woman and pay absolutely no attention just like when you see your nan without a bra on

BunnyLake · 03/07/2025 14:55

I know what you mean OP. I wear a very busy printed kaftan. I feel the more patterns on it the less obvious big untethered boobs are.

BunnyLake · 03/07/2025 14:57

1willgetthere · 03/07/2025 14:46

I wear these round the house https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07M9BQRNT?ref=cmswrcsocpmwndp0FVHG5F1VG65CXHV44K7

I'm large chested too and I find them comfier than going bra less, so may be worth a try

Edited

Do you know what size a 36GG would likely be?

Ellie1015 · 03/07/2025 15:15

I would feel uncomfortable too and wouldn't. Wouldn't with my own kids, mum or sister either.

Must be other cool and comfy options you would be happier in.

Bobnobob · 03/07/2025 15:19

You can’t kick his son out because you don’t want to wear a bra! Just don’t wear one. If you’re really self conscious could you look into night dresses with hidden support? Or those super comfy night bras .. I had some when breastfeeding

coxesorangepippin · 03/07/2025 15:23

Schools out already