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Cousin Coerced Into Marriage Advice Needed

151 replies

TheCoralMoose · 03/07/2025 13:19

My cousin who is 37 met someone 11 months ago.

He is much older but not as old as he said he was at first.

She never intended to marry him just go on dates and she decided not to let him move in her apartment which she owns. He had a house which he owned since learned he gave it to his daughter just after meeting my cousin.

He said he was 45 he is actually 61.

Him and my cousin had a 5 day break booked for las vegas just before she decided she no longer wanted him.
She went ahead with the vegas break because he paid a lot of money for it.

On the day before they were due to fly back she doesnt know if she was spiked or given too much alcohol but he took her very intoxicated to a chapel and they get wed.

On returning home she told him its still over then he shown her the marriage certificate.

She called her mum and dad and they came round told him to get out he said fuck off its my place as much as hers and threatened them.

What can be done?. No its not a joke thread its deadly serious.

He has said because he is older and now his daughter has his house his housing needs will be more than hers because she is younger than him.

Is this something the police will get involved in.

OP posts:
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5
AcrossthePond55 · 03/07/2025 17:16

She can start with this. The officiant has 10 days to submit the marriage license to the county clerk. And it may take a few days for it to be added to the database so if this happened fairly recently it may not yet be on the database. Tomorrow is a federal holiday (4th of July) so the office won't be open, although electronic systems should be working.

Also she needs to try variations of her name ie Katherine, Kathy, Katie etc and possible misspellings of her last name if she thinks he didn't know how to spell it:

https://clerk.clarkcountynv.gov/AcclaimWeb/Marriage/FindMyMarriageRecordSearch

To order a copy of the marriage certificate, if one is found:

https://www.clarkcountynv.gov/government/elected_officials/county_clerk/what-is-proof-of-marriage

Skip down to 'how to order'. She'll need some form of US dollars payment.

In my former US Govt career part of my work was 'authenticating' alleged marriages and obtaining proof of these marriages. I've been retired for a few years but this is what I can tell you:

In Clark County an application is required for a marriage license, but IIRC the chapels have that paperwork for the couple to fill out, and it can actually be done electronically these days but that's 'after my time' so I don't know how that works. The actual license is issued by Clark County Clerk's office. ID is required for both parties.

As far as an officiant marrying someone who is obviously drunk or disoriented, unfortunately it's not actually illegal in Nevada for them to perform the ceremony. What IS illegal is issuing an obviously drunk or otherwise 'non compos mentis' person a marriage license. BUT since the license is technically issued by the clerk recorder AND I assume the paperwork is filled out by the couple, the chapel/officiant probably sidesteps any legal responsibility there, too. The kicker is that the marriage is still legal under Nevada law.

A marriage is not legal until the marriage license has been received and certified by the Clark County Recorder's office. If she sees the license he supposedly has, she needs to look for the officiant's signature and (if he alleges it's an actual 'legal copy') a signature and stamp of the county clerk. She needs to look for an actual INK stamp, not a photocopy. They're usually printed on either bond or watermarked paper, but again things may have changed since I retired. The lack doesn't mean they aren't married and it's not unusual for a chapel to give a 'souvenir marriage certificate' for a keepsake or a photocopy of the certificate they're going to file with the clerk. A souvenir certificate is just that, usually a 'fancified' document and a 'pre-recordation' photocopy will not have a county clerk's signature or seal. Chapels also issue 'souvenir certificates' for people renewing vows or other ceremonies where the couple doesn't want it to be 'legal'.

The officiant is supposed to submit the document themselves, but I have known of cases where they just gave the certificate to the couple and said "Here, take this to the courthouse". I had more than one case where the couple didn't understand or forgot and just kept the license. They found out years later when we saw the 'unfiled' certificate that they were never legally married! Those were horrible interviews, I can tell you .I had one case where the husband went home, packed a bag and left her.

Your cousin is going to need to speak to a solicitor RIGHT NOW. In the US you must be a 'resident of the state' to file for divorce or annulment in that state, for example X and Y were married in Nevada but live in Utah. They would have to pursue termination of the marriage in Utah. I assume this means that if it is indeed a valid marriage (ie she finds a valid marriage certificate), she'll need to pursue annulment in the UK. But she shouldn't wait for that, she needs to consult about her home and any rights he has. And if he is not living there, she mustn't let him move in. Personally, I'd change the locks either way. Let him take her to court.

Good luck!!

Marriage Search by Name

https://clerk.clarkcountynv.gov/AcclaimWeb/Marriage/FindMyMarriageRecordSearch

PrettyDamnCosmic · 03/07/2025 17:33

Ohtobemycat · 03/07/2025 14:14

If you regret marrying someone and wish to annul the marriage immediately, you can apply for an annulment as soon as you are legally married, without waiting a year like with a divorce. An annulment legally declares that the marriage was never valid from its beginning, based on specific legal grounds, rather than ending an existing legal marriage like a divorce.

Key points for annulment:
No waiting period:
Unlike divorce, there is no waiting period for filing for an annulment.

Grounds for annulment:
You must have specific legal grounds to qualify for an annulment. These are limited and generally include:
Fraud or misrepresentation that induced you to marry.

Duress or force that caused you to enter the marriage against your will.

Lack of consent due to mental incapacity or intoxication at the time of marriage.

Being already married to someone else at the time of the ceremony.

Unconsummated marriage (with some exceptions for same-sex marriages).

This is the law if the marriage took place in the UK. There may well be the same grounds for annulment in Nevada but the application would have to be made to a court in Nevada not a UK court.

skyeisthelimit · 03/07/2025 17:51

She needs to call the police and tell them she was drugged and coerced into marriage and that he is now violent and refusing to leave her home and has threatened her parents.

Hopefully she can get him removed, change the locks and then get legal advice

VQ1970 · 03/07/2025 18:16

ghostyslovesheets · 03/07/2025 15:53

Didn’t know that but mines there from 2001!

I didn't know that either but just found mine from 2000!

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 03/07/2025 19:08

Northerngirl821 · 03/07/2025 16:56

To those saying go to the GP/get blood tests, this is pointless - even if they could get this done and there was a positive result, there is no evidence to prove that she didn’t take the drug voluntarily.

She needs urgent legal advice and also to involve the police if there is an immediate threat to her safety and/or he is harassing her or refusing to leave her house. Domestic abuse charities may also be able to offer her advice and support.

It would be a good idea for her to write down a timeline/notes regarding all relevant events as well while things are fresh in her mind.

Not pointless. Evidence of drugs in her system is better than no evidence of drugs in her system. How the drugs got in her system is not easy to prove, but it does rather depend what the drugs are. If it’s a drug that isn’t generally taken for recreational purposes but known to cause memory loss I’d say that would be helpful evidence.

independentfriend · 04/07/2025 18:12

Also try the Forced Marriage Protection Unit - part of the FCDO. They may be able to help with eg. changing her NI number if he's likely to have got hold of it. And may well know about how to seek annulments of marriages conducted abroad, if indeed they somehow did marry with her drunk/ drugged.

Lrichy13 · 04/07/2025 18:16

She needs to go to the police and file for annulment asap.

Blablibladirladada · 04/07/2025 18:28

TheCoralMoose · 03/07/2025 13:19

My cousin who is 37 met someone 11 months ago.

He is much older but not as old as he said he was at first.

She never intended to marry him just go on dates and she decided not to let him move in her apartment which she owns. He had a house which he owned since learned he gave it to his daughter just after meeting my cousin.

He said he was 45 he is actually 61.

Him and my cousin had a 5 day break booked for las vegas just before she decided she no longer wanted him.
She went ahead with the vegas break because he paid a lot of money for it.

On the day before they were due to fly back she doesnt know if she was spiked or given too much alcohol but he took her very intoxicated to a chapel and they get wed.

On returning home she told him its still over then he shown her the marriage certificate.

She called her mum and dad and they came round told him to get out he said fuck off its my place as much as hers and threatened them.

What can be done?. No its not a joke thread its deadly serious.

He has said because he is older and now his daughter has his house his housing needs will be more than hers because she is younger than him.

Is this something the police will get involved in.

Just wow

that should have been annulled asap really. Not sure the time frame but try that?

Otherwise, divorce but it sounds like he did that whole trip unpurpose and planned with intent to actually get her drunk enough to marry her. So a lawyer could advise on how to deal with it.

where they actually live is more important than where they got married so , again, a lawyer should be able to advise on how to proceed and also how try his claim to the house is.

edit: how TRUE his claim…

Judecb · 04/07/2025 18:30

She immediately needs to check the legal status of the marriage. If lawful, she should seek legal advice about an annulment. If she was drugged this is a matter for the police. This needs to be acted on as a matter of urgency.

hcee19 · 04/07/2025 18:31

There could be an offence of control or coercion. But it is not a UK matter as this took place in the USA. I would go to the police to seek advice. This is just an terrible , situation, just awful, but advice is needed as soon as possible

GiveDogBone · 04/07/2025 19:05

I’d be surprised if a Las Vegas chapel actually married somebody who was catatonic and drugged up. That’s a lawsuit waiting to happen. I’d also expect they videoed it, or at least have security cameras which would show the state she was in.

Are you sure she was actually drugged?

Bunchymcbunchface · 04/07/2025 19:06

I got married in vegas. It doesn’t work like that. You both have to present at the licence bureau to get the licence to marry, you’re not allowed to be intoxicated and both have to sign for it and show your I.d documents.

Kjpt140v · 04/07/2025 19:11

He said he was 45 but he was 61. Surely you has some idea that was BS. Kick him out, he hasn't got a leg to stand on. Make sure sister stays in the house and doesn't move out.

Kjpt140v · 04/07/2025 19:15

She's disappeared

Finteq · 04/07/2025 19:19

Kjpt140v · 04/07/2025 19:15

She's disappeared

I think the situation is about op and not the hypothetical cousin.

I think she married him and now regrets it. And wants to know if a marriage done in Vegas will be legal here or not.

It is legal. But you can still get it annulled. For a number of reasons.

And he isn't entitled to your assets because of how short the marriage is. So even if you can't get it annulled and have to divorce he isn't entitled to your assets.

But the marriage is valid if you did the whole license thing beforehand.

PerspicaciaTick · 04/07/2025 19:21

I suggest that she (or you - they advise concerned friends, colleagues etc. too) contact the Forced Marriage Unit.

Forced marriage - GOV.UK https://share.google/BfhP5i4DIDStCKTVc

Forced marriage

How to protect, advise and support victims of forced marriage, including information and practice guidelines for professionals.

https://www.gov.uk/guidance/forced-marriage

croydon15 · 04/07/2025 20:08

A man of 61 does not look 45, why going out with him ?

BluntLion · 04/07/2025 20:12

Bloody heck! Definitely get her to call the Police as this sounds dodgy.

Laura95167 · 04/07/2025 20:27

TheCoralMoose · 03/07/2025 13:19

My cousin who is 37 met someone 11 months ago.

He is much older but not as old as he said he was at first.

She never intended to marry him just go on dates and she decided not to let him move in her apartment which she owns. He had a house which he owned since learned he gave it to his daughter just after meeting my cousin.

He said he was 45 he is actually 61.

Him and my cousin had a 5 day break booked for las vegas just before she decided she no longer wanted him.
She went ahead with the vegas break because he paid a lot of money for it.

On the day before they were due to fly back she doesnt know if she was spiked or given too much alcohol but he took her very intoxicated to a chapel and they get wed.

On returning home she told him its still over then he shown her the marriage certificate.

She called her mum and dad and they came round told him to get out he said fuck off its my place as much as hers and threatened them.

What can be done?. No its not a joke thread its deadly serious.

He has said because he is older and now his daughter has his house his housing needs will be more than hers because she is younger than him.

Is this something the police will get involved in.

Id question this paperwork.

Call the police and a solicitor, if she married under the influence get an annulment not a divorce. But also check this paperwork is actually real

ElsaPeretti · 04/07/2025 21:06

Re the consummation comment; if she was too intoxicated to knowingly give informed consent to the marriage, she was definitely too intoxicated to knowingly give informed consent to sex afterwards. Which isn’t consummation; it’s rape.

Hankunamatata · 04/07/2025 21:09

Get him out of the house. Get her to call the police if he wont leave - none molestation order if needed and Id log with them that she suspected he spiked her.

Get onto a solicitor ASAP

Whostolemymojo · 04/07/2025 21:45

TheCoralMoose · 03/07/2025 13:48

No. She remembers going into a restaurant then feeling very ill.

She was sick on the plane coming back to the UK.

If it was a vegas wedding is it legal and binding.

I got married in vegas and we had to apply for the marriage license 24 or 48 hours beforehand. So did she do that? If not, I’m not sure she did get married as both people have to be there to register.

Donsyb · 04/07/2025 21:55

TheCoralMoose · 03/07/2025 13:48

No. She remembers going into a restaurant then feeling very ill.

She was sick on the plane coming back to the UK.

If it was a vegas wedding is it legal and binding.

That depends on the paperwork. You have to get a marriage licence before the ceremony for it to be legal, so if they don’t do that it isn’t. If they did, that shows pre planning, and they both have to be present to get the licence. If they have a licence then I think she’s not telling the truth.

www.clarkcountynv.gov/government/elected_officials/county_clerk/how-to-get-married-in-las-vegas

jesst81 · 04/07/2025 22:13

I got married in Vegas, you have to go apply for your marriage licence first before the chapel otherwise it’s not legal. Did they go to both?

Laurmolonlabe · 04/07/2025 23:25

Go to a lawyer straight away, because this marriage can be easily annulled, no marriage is legal and binding without consent. Police will probably have to be involved. Even when married you have your rights in property-he has no right to your house unless you die and have made no will leaving it to someone else. Make a will when with the lawyer- this man is obviously dangerous and he is in a better position with you dead , before you make a will.
He is not well informed, his age has no bearing on his right to your cousin's property.
The council will not rehouse him because he made himself homeless by giving his house to his daughter- people that are desperate are dangerous- go to a lawyer then the police , now.

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