Colleague keeps putting in calls at 4pm with me

[MichelleTalks]

I’m on a 35 hour a week contract and our employer very much champions a flexible working and ‘as long as you do your hours we don’t mind when’ sort of approach.

I typically work between 7-4, which allows flexibility with school runs etc. Other colleagues do similar - some will take a longer lunch to go to the gym, some will get admin done in the evenings. No issue - we are all adults.

Recently, a colleague keeps trying to book meetings in with me at 4pm. She tends to work 9-5 every day. I point out various free slots in both our calendars earlier in the day (4-5 is always blocked out in mine) and she does eventually re-schedule for one of them. But it has happened 4/5 times in the past month now.

She is as entitled to flexible working as the rest of us, but it feels like she resents my approach. Would you say something or just ignore?

I would just decline. And let her figure it out.

I think you’re overreacting to this.

on outlook and similar, you can just change your working hours so 4-5pm shows you are offline/out of office. She’s going to look silly booking in time that clearly shows you as being unavailable. You just need to reject the invite or suggest another time.

stop taking it as a personal insult on your lifestyle choices and just use the technology involved as intended

On Outlook you can change your working hours to set up your weekly schedule. If you do this and they still schedule an appointment outside of your normal working pattern I would have one final conversation. After that I would decline without any further comment. Do they attend meetings at 8am or after they start at 9am?

Our standard meeting times are at 10am or 2pm, avoiding lunchtime if possible.

Decline and propose 8 am the following day instead

Love this.

It doesn't seem to work with some people, they just don't use the scheduling assistant. It really annoys me.

I work 3 days a week spread over 5, so I get people trying to schedule meetings at 4pm too.

If it's a big group you obviously can't pleased everyone, but if it's a small group use the scheduling assistant.

I also think some people make a virtue of trying to schedule meetings at the end of the day. I just find it annoying.

I also think some people make a virtue of trying to schedule meetings at the end of the day.

I suspect some do it as a way of virtue signalling that they work overtime and you don't. Once got stuck on a call with someone who took the view that she had to work into the evening because she was sooo busy, so running over to 6pm was totally normal for her. It never seemed to occur to her that some of us a) didn't want to, b) had other commitments and c) didn't need to work late because we'd got all our work done during the working day.

Recurring meeting for the hours you want, daily ad finitum

This^
if ignorance or error can be assumed don’t go straight to malice!

She’s done it 4 times, I genuinely could not be arsed with constantly responding to remind her of my working hours or why 4pm doesn’t work or suggesting alternatives.

Just decline the meetings without comment. If she really needs the meeting she can put the legwork in to find a slot that works and send another meeting invite over.

The OP feels harassed by the repeated failure to understand about her working hours. Does the woman do the same to male colleagues? The same to someone who may finish before sunset on Friday if they are Jewish (i.e. early in winter)?

Neither of these may apply to the OP, of course.

Why would the OP work extra hours to accommodate this colleague when their hours over lap during most of the rest of day? It's not the OP's problem if the colleague prefers the 4-5pm, the OP isn't paid after 4pm as she has finished her working day by them. How do you suggest the OP 'compromises' in this situation?

Id send one more decline advising I finish work at 4pm and am unavailable after that time.

From then on Id just decline any invites post 4pm, no suggestions of alternatives, no apology, nothing

Explain to me how she is working between 7am.and 9am when her kids need to be taken to school?

Is she a single mum with no access to childcare? I must have missed that.

Two thoughts.
First, does your colleague actually use scheduling assistant to look for when you're available? Or does she just ping you an appointment? She might not be consciously thinking about your working hours being different.
Second, is that she's being awkward because she doesn't see why you get to go early every day. She doesn't see the 7am starts. Which is a whole different kettle of fish.
So my solution? You've already got it blocked out in Outlook. That should be sufficient. It's not, though! It might be worth getting a refresher for the team on using scheduling assistant to look at people's availability.
Is this a regular meeting, if so, block book them for the same time every week/fortnight/whatever. Do it for the next year. That way she's not getting to either create hassle due to not using scheduling assistant or be passive aggressive because she doesn't like your working hours.

Every time she suggests 4 - you suggest 7.30 as “it’s nice and quiet”. Do it every single iMessages she asks for 4pm.

I used to get stressed about making my calendar suit others, moving meetings about to help things fit. Then I met a wonderful colleague who just, didn’t. Not available- decline. Not rude, but no discussion, no explanation and no shuffling. People learned to accommodate her and I learned a valuable way to stop stress for myself and now do the same. Game changer!

I just create a meeting as I normally would and put not available. I have a second job so I am out the door and can’t work in that time after 4pm. Then set it as recurring on the days you need. Make sure you switch reminder off

just decline it. Don’t propose a new time. I have to make a guess with people outside my organisation if I need to speak to them that day and then it becomes a ding dong of proposed new time 😜 we don’t have phone numbers to call each other!

have a gentle chat with her that you work 7-4 and that’s it. If she does it again then decline and propose new time for 8am.

if it continues then speak to line manager

Just decline the meetings? I block my time out my dairy and mark it as out of office.

That’s me 🤣 if I can’t do it I can’t do it. Tough.

I have this issue all the time with people. Things I do - block my diary to show my non working hours. Show my working hours on footer to my email. Put out of office on showing my working hours when I finish my working hours. Decline any meetings outside of my hours, or just send a proposal back for a different time with a reminder of my working hours. You don’t need to explain yourself or ask permission. Sad reality is no matter how many times you explain to some people they will continue to book meetings with you outside your working hours - but that’s their issue not yours. And you doing this isn’t rude it’s setting an important example to others on flexible working and leading the way on what should be happening xx

This is definately the answer. Hope do you do this?

Just decline the meeting/call invite and if you've already told her your working hours, there's no need to add any further explanation.