Colleague keeps putting in calls at 4pm with me

[MichelleTalks]

I’m on a 35 hour a week contract and our employer very much champions a flexible working and ‘as long as you do your hours we don’t mind when’ sort of approach.

I typically work between 7-4, which allows flexibility with school runs etc. Other colleagues do similar - some will take a longer lunch to go to the gym, some will get admin done in the evenings. No issue - we are all adults.

Recently, a colleague keeps trying to book meetings in with me at 4pm. She tends to work 9-5 every day. I point out various free slots in both our calendars earlier in the day (4-5 is always blocked out in mine) and she does eventually re-schedule for one of them. But it has happened 4/5 times in the past month now.

She is as entitled to flexible working as the rest of us, but it feels like she resents my approach. Would you say something or just ignore?

That is not how flexible working works 😂

Just send her a politely-worded email stating “Just a heads up, I have made the decision to set my email to automatically refuse further requests for calls outside of my availability which is available to everyone on the calendar.”

OP doesn't work after 4 though so why should she have a meeting outside her normal working hours? I don't think many people would be happy to have a meeting scheduled for the weekend if they don't work weekends or at 7 am if they normally don't start work until 9.
A compromise would be arranging a meeting during the period that both people are in the office so anytime after 9 but before 4.
At my workplace it was considered bad practice to schedule meetings;starting at 4 or later.

Yes, some people seem to do that. A colleague did that to me recently, in that he booked his meeting right over the top of one I already had with someone else. He was too busy to use the schedule assist, hadn't noticed the warning that the meeting would clash with another and just scheduled when it was convenient to him

Can't you decline and propose a new time of 7 or 8am the following day? fight fire with fire!!

Just don’t answer. She’ll work it out eventually.

She just forgets. You are not that important for her to deliberately try and make you work longer hours.

She isn't disrespecting you. I dont remember all of the working hours in my team ffs.

Is it that hard for you to propose a new time without thinking she's doing it deliberately. It's happened 4 times not 50.

This attitude makes me realize why.So many people are not taken seriously at work.

When you resort to such petty behaviour in response to what is probably a genuine mistake or forgetting, it's no surprise some people aren't taken seriously at work.

Also fighting fire with fire?! What fire has the op had to extinguish with being asked four times for meetings that aren't convenient? Decline and suggest a new time.Probably takes thirty seconds.

If that's a situation that's requires a heavy handed response and means the op is under fire then clearly some of you have very easy jobs.

At this stage just decline

If you want to be nice add 'my calendar is up to date if you want to pick an alternative time'

I wouldn’t take a passive-aggressive approach. I’d drop her a friendly email reiterating my working pattern and then just decline all 4pm requests without comment.

The problem with turning this into a “thing” that becomes a big discussion is that management could decide to withdraw the flexibility and impose a rota or such like, which would be a ball ache. Or they may decide that no one can start prior to 8am. So keep it light and friendly OP.

Subtlety is not working, someone sends a request out of OP's working hours, do the same. That's all i'm saying. I've been in a corporate role for 38 years, gently gently doesn't work, believe me.

Have you actually got this in your calendar so she can see you’re not available?! I would block out my calendar with a daily appointment. Call it non working hours or no meetings or whatever!

I found some people to just be a bit oblivious. This is especially true if you work across time zones.

Even if you set work hours in Outlook, it often ignores them and the auto-scheduler will suggest times outside of your hours.

my solution is to have 3 hour blocks of standing meetings before and after my work day.

i will definitely meet outside of my regular hours if truly needed, but not just because someone picked a random time.

our outlook doesn’t show subjects except to the actual user, just busy or out of office, so other people can’t actually see what you put on your calendar? Isn’t that a security risk? Or is that just my job?

Excellent suggestion…..I’d suggest 7am too 😂

What hours is your kids school that 7 til 4 works around them? Have you got childcare in place for all your working hours?

I had a colleague who claimed she did 7 - 3.30 on similar grounds. I moved to a project team working with people in another time zone and realised my colleague was barely ever actually working the hours, she just relied on there being few people online to notice. I would ask her a question on teams and she wouldn't reply til 8.45am. She later admitted she had no childcare 🙄

Well exactly. 9-5 seems to work better if you've got children because of the school run.
How on earth is the school run being done when you're meant to be working. Is there a nanny that arrives at seven am to get these children out of bed dress them and take them to school?

If there isn't an it's you doing it, then I'd be worried about rocking the boat about your working hours and pointing them out.In case somebody asks.

For someone who kept doing this i would decline and say 'sorry this is outside of my working hours. My diary is open so please send an invite for a time that suits us both'

Eh? So when you try and schedule a meeting with someone, you don't check their availability? No need to remember everyone's schedule ffs, just check their calendar

My boss does it to me. Frequently. He doesnt look and see annual leave was booked in, other meetings. It happens.

Id suggest the colleague does book a meeting with the OP between 7am to 9am instead because she won't be at her desk. She will be dealing with her kids and taking them to school.

I agree, hence my dislike of 'gentle reminders' for those who cannot meet deadlines, or 'sorry' when making a normal request.

The person the OP refers to should be given one more opportunity and then talk to her manager.

I accidentally voted YABU which obviously you're not. Tell her 7am is best for you.

It's a bit passive aggressive, but I would be sorely tempted to offer to show her how to use the scheduling assistant to choose a time that worked for all the attendees, as she must be struggling with it - it must be frustrating for her to often find that other people are not free to accept her meeting invitations.

I’d be direct but professional about it like this - in email on the back of future invites for 4pm:

Hi Person,

My working day is Xam to 4Pm. I’m unable to accommodate regular meetings at this time.

I’ve suggested an alternative time to meet.

Kind Regards,

Other Person

Then reinforce it if she sends future meeting invites for 4pm, use the facility within the meeting to decline it and suggest an alternative time.

If your day stops at 4pm then make sure that’s clear and that meetings after this time are not workable for you.

If she cannot take a polite hint, then I suggest one of the times you suggest is 8:30 am.

7 till 4 is an hour longer than my working day, so perhaps she has it arranged that she can go out for half an hour for pickup and then resume working for half an hour or so till 4.

Or perhaps she has an arrangement whereby her child is looked after until she gets there sometime after 4.

I'm assuming that you're someone who also disapproves of people working different hours!

I would actually hazard a guess that her OH deals with the kids and the school run in the morning, which is why those hours work better for her, that's what a lot of people I know do. Starting earlier than most people does not mean they're slacking or looking after kids (even if you know one person who did that).