To accept we will never move home due to the prices

[LioKa]

DH and I purchased our first home 5 years ago - very much a starter home, quite compact and always intended to be our first step on the ladder.

Yes, it has increased in value, but looking at what would be the natural next step in terms of property size - prices are just bonkers and we’d be taking on a much bigger Mortgage which would not leave much room for luxuries such as holidays.

We are both in decent jobs but realistically our earnings can only increase by so much in the best future. Likewise no help from family not that we’d ever expect it.

Has anyone else ‘accepted their lot’ in terms of moving and tried to come to terms with the fact it’s just not affordable?

We're in a similar situation. We planned to only stay for 2 years, then life happened!

We are now in the position where we really need an extra bedroom but the cost of a bigger house would come at a huge cost to our lifestyle.

We just dont want to make that sacrifice so an attic conversion it is!

Honestly, I really don't think a child would notice the size of a bedroom....young children don't spend much time in there anyway mainly only teens who just want a bed, space for clothes and a desk! It might not be ideal but don't see why it has to be a deal breaker 🤷‍♀️ Surely the benefits of having a sibling massively outweigh the drawbacks of a small bedroom.Even sharing in some cases (although I appreciate that's not the case for all kids....tried ours sharing for afew nights recently and it was a nightmare, so they could never do it all the time!) We have two girls and youngest will have a box room for the foreseeable future.

Have less stuff and enjoy a simpler lifestyle.

Sharing bedrooms or having a tiny room isn’t neglectful or bad for DC. Move away from believing you need the spacious Instagram home.

Getting rid of lots of stuff is freeing.

Fewer toys is proven to be better for kids.

Compromise I suppose. We did UK camping holidays when the dc were small. Lived with old kitchens and bathrooms. Tried to do as much DIY ourselves as possible. Kept the same old 2nd hand car for years. One car only for the family. Budgeted for food. Rarely did days out where you needed to pay to get in. Small dc don't notice these things. It's not easy.

Part of me wonders if we should have moved to a cheaper area but I think I'd rather be here in a less than ideal house.

We are 2 bankers on excellent wages outside of London. No kids. Bought 1 bed flat in mid 20s and did manage to jump up to small 3 bed semi (one is a box room) 5 years later. We assumed that we’d be in “4 bed detached” territory in our mid thirties but simply cannot fathom the size of mortgage we’d need, the % of monthly income it would be and are just not comfortable with the number.

Luckily we are happily childfree or might consider having just 1 at some point so we don’t have concerns about bedroom space but we don’t have a driveway, garage or utility room etc etc that we always assumed we’d have. Our goal now is to pay off this mortgage asap and accept we won’t move up the ladder again unless we get a significant windfall i.e. lottery win!!!

What we have decided to spend money on is making the space work for us as much as possible. We swapped the bathroom and the boxroom to get a lovely walk in shower and rolltop bath and have converted the old bathroom to walk in wardrobe/dressing room. We paid a local carpenter to make the storage bespoke to our needs (cheaper than something like Hammonds, then painted ourselves). Our logic is that if we’re not selling, no need to present the boxroom as a 3rd bedroom for resale value, it’s more valuable to us to use the space in a way that works. Every room is decorated in bright bold colours perfectly to our taste (again, no concerns about resale value) and we invested in storage solutions- lounge has bespoke cupboards and shelves built around fireplace to improve space.

We have made decisions about colours, room use and spent more money than we work have done on a 5 - 10 year house. We’re also planning a garden room and have a long term plan to rework the layout of the kitchen diner. It’s not money we would spend if we wanted to reclaim/profit in a sale but as it’s now our forever home, the “value” to us is in how it improves our day to day living. It probably means we top the ceiling price of our street but as I plan on being here another few decades, I don’t have to worry about that.

Are there things you could do to the house that would improve your lifestyle but you had previously avoided due to concerns about selling? I’d make a list if choices you have with the assumption that you will stay and see if that makes you feel better about it?

If it doesn’t, maybe visit options to make a move work, but it’s worth exploring what is the “best” version of staying.

We are in this same position.
We bought our house 7 years ago, and feel stuck here now. We were just two people when we got it, and it feels so small now we are a family of 3. Our little one has hardly any space to run around and play inside. Our hoover lives in the corner of a room, there isn't anywhere to store coats or shoes, etc. Can only fit drawers and wardrobe in one bedroom.

To get just a slightly bigger house (eg same number of beds but slightly bigger, ensuite to one room, utility room, hallway rather than through lounge to kitchen) we would be more than doubling our mortgage payments and I'm just not sure it is worth the sacrifices for such a minimal increase in space.

This. When we moved to the next sized property we had no spare money .

Identical situation! I could have written that description word for word. I wish we had pushed the boat out a bit more initially (we could have afforded to but were being conservative with it being our first house and thought we’d easily move within a few years).

Hindsight is a wonderful thing of course.

In my area the next step up- a large 3 bed instead of 3rd being a box room or 4 bed are now unaffordable. They’ve all been extended into mega mansions so it’s either starter home or mansion. It’s insane.

Not quite the same situation, I am not quite in a starter home but when my then dh and I moved in 8 years ago we both agreed we could either move again or extend significantly. As it happens he’s now my exdh and I bought him out. In some ways it would have been better if we’d have sold for a fresh start but I decided staying here was better for the kids. I can’t afford to move or extend on my income alone so I’m focusing on getting the house how I want it without doing either of those things. And I’m trying to count my blessings, I’m very lucky to have been able to stay in this house rather than having to downsize to buy him out.

Personally I think houses these days are getting too big. Maybe think of it as the smaller the house the more environmentally friendly it is to run. It takes less effort to keep clean, which means you can use your saved time to go out and do activities - playgrounds, hiking, day trips to interesting places. Having cheaper repayments means your exposure to interest rate increases is reduced and gives you a good buffer if repayments rise a lot.

You can look at better storage options and declutter to make the most of the space you have.

Like you, I bought smaller than I could afford. Whilst an extra bedroom would be lovely, I've made changes that maximise the usage of space and I now use every area regularly instead of having space that was used occasionally.

@Jc2001 I think the difference is now most people on average salaries cannot afford that next step up house at all, even if they have no holidays and no luxuries at all.

Personally I would rather a smaller home and be able to enjoy the experiences in life....they are what count most, making memories and life is too short not to be able to have those things.OP didn't mention expensive holidays just holidays in general! Everyone deserves to get away for a break and change of scenery sometimes, even if it's a cheaper holiday in the UK.

I feel you OP, I had to relocate 150 miles last year to be able to afford a bigger house.

If that isn't possible for you though, then I'd try and make my peace with the house you have- at least you have a home thats yours, and you may have a chance of paying off the mortgage sooner. I wouldn't personally have stretched myself for a bigger house at the expense of lifestyle, life's too short.

We did the same - never moved on from our starter home. Only had one child due to it (among other reasons). However, we are happy now - bought young, so we will be mortgage-free in our early 50s, and have a decent lifestyle, with fairly low bills.

The "ladder" doesn't really exist anymore.

Yes, I never expected to stay in our first house. We earn well but the next step up is ridiculous. No regrets. We do like our house and the kids have a (small) room each though.

I grew up in a big house though and know you can be just as miserable in a big house as a small house. Financial stress will make you more miserable than having to be fairly ruthless in your decluttering.

I think when we moved we only ever had camping holidays for about 5 or 6 years. We overpaid as much as possible and things started to become more affordable as salaries rose etc. Then come the better holidays and other luxuries. It's always been this way.

Most people are paying higher mortgages & for longer these days. Through in wage stagnation etc & these aren't much better after a few years & the luxuries don't end up coming!

We are one up from the starter homes in our area

so a way off the nice detached bungalow we would have liked for this time of life but we are just happy having a home of our own

yes house buying has always involved trade offs for most people - you prioritise holidays now and that’s a different choice to my decades ( happy) camping

and yes I had a great job paying decent ish wages . I don’t really understand why people think that is enough for a life of luxury and having everything

YANBU. The concept of the property ladder as it was, has disappeared now.

I definitely never envisaged staying in my flat as long as i have when i bought it, and other than stretching myself to the max or moving out to the sticks, I can't see me moving unless I come into some serious inheritance or win the lottery! But the mortgage is nearly paid off and maybe a couple more years to boost the pension pot and I'll be able to reduce my working hours. So every cloud n all that! And I'd rather go on holiday more than have a bigger house and a huge mortgage!

We could afford a larger house by now but we have chosen to stay in our smaller home, not over stretch ourselves, and hopefully be mortgage free sooner.

I imagine most people want to do what they consider is best for their kids at the time rather than looking to see where they could make savings for an early retirement.

People can do how they please but that sounds a bit shit

The thing is that lots of “doing best for the kids” actually isn’t having a big home and fancy holidays - it’s about being together and having fun

teaching kids that fun doesnt need money is one of the best things you can teach them

younger generations are it seems less happy than those who grew up with nothing more