Christmas presents

[OliviaVine]

A bit of advice needed please. We are a large blended family. We have 6 children between us, all under 18 except for one who is 23 and moving into his own rented place next week. Obviously Christmas is expensive with 6 children/young adults and each year we have spent pretty much equal amounts on each. Are we being unreasonable by spending less on our eldest at Christmas going forward? He works and is in his final year at uni, or does that seem mean, just because he is older than his siblings and has moved out? Our other children are 7, 8, 12, 15 and 16. I wonder if a single thoughtful gift is fine given his circumstances rather than cash (or lots of gifts) equal to the younger siblings.

Are any of the 6 children shared between you and your partner?

At 23 moving in to own place… well, I’d probably be spending more on them than any previous years to help them set up home

And you have time to save!

Now you're stalking me.

Always interesting to have a look at a posters history who gets a thread pulled!

And indeed it was in this case! 😆

Please stop stalking.

Neither do I. I don’t spend less on DS25 then on DS17 and never have done, but we have never spent very large amounts (compared to some, I suppose) in any case.

I agree.

As an adult the gifts from my parents reduced when I moved out, so 17.
I get one gift from them.
Ill reduce gifts for my children when they move out, have partners or kids ect.
I wouldn't over think it.

If anything, my parents spent MORE on me as I got older - wasn't married or moved out! Far more appreciated than piles of presents which kids seem to get now.

Me too!
especially when I just moved out.

25 year later.. I still have some of the gifts I received from them

My eldest is 35, I absolutely do not spend the same amount on his Christmas presents as i do on my 16 year old, and he wouldn't expect me to! My 35 year old earns more than me!

Ok, that’s how it works in your family. My mum spends the same on each of us and her grandkids. My household takes home than hers but she still insists on gifts

We spend £150 on DS and DD 30 and 27 respectively. We spend £100 on their partners.

We spend £150 on DS and DD 30 and 27 respectively. We spend £100 on their partners.

He's 23 and working so he can buy most things he wants himself. The younger ones are entirely dependent on you to provide for them. YANBU to spend less on him.

If he’s living independently and earning, I think it’s fair to cut back.

if you think about it, if you spend £100 per kid per year, the 7 year old has only had £700 but the 23 year old has had £2300.

You’ll be spending forever at this level if the kids never “age out” of the gifting.

I would say “we are doing small presents for adults now and we don’t expect you to buy us something big either.”

My parents would buy me something to wear, something to read, something useful for my home and something nice like a handcream -overall not a lot of money but just something nice to open on Xmas day.

I think this too. Maybe also rethink your budget for everyone and just cut down generally.

I never spend as much on Christmas gifts as on Birthday gifts - but that's just me.

If you're spending £100 on each, then spending £50 on the eldest won't make a big dent in your budget.

If you're spending £500 on each, then spending £50 on the eldest will look really unfair.

Don't forget the eldest might buy gifts for each of the younger ones...

Never.