To ask why some men seem so unsettled or suspicious of women who are estranged from their fathers or families, especially when the estrangement is by choice?

[EdgyTaupePoet]

I’ve noticed a pattern, especially in dating: when a woman mentions that she’s no-contact with her dad or estranged from her family, some men seem visibly uncomfortable or start making assumptions. It’s rarely seen neutrally. There’s this underlying suspicion - as if a woman must be the problem if she chose distance or that it somehow makes her “untrustworthy” or “difficult.”

But if a man says he’s estranged from her father, people are more likely to empathise or assume he had a good reason. Why the double standard?

Recent experience of this when telling 'him' that I have no contact with my narc mother and it 'hurt him and upset him to hear' and he would mention how she is family and I should have her in my life no matter what she did but this was all under the guise of trying to get me to break my boundaries. He realised how strong a person I am when I refused to drop my boundaries to have my toxic mother in my life meaning he knew his own time trying to manipulate me was limited. He is now gone too.

This is such a weird comment.

People who are not estranged and come from close families also have MH issues. Sometimes them remaining close to their families is the reason they have them instead of distancing themselves because of some people thinking blood matters more than ones mental health and you should put up with whatever just because of blood relation.

Well quite, you've explained exactly why These things leave scars and whilst it might not happen everyone, it's a reason some people might not want to get involved.

Not a red flag at all.
Just because people are related by birth fosent mean they don't hurt each other or have anything in common.
Lots of families are not estranged but not happy either.
Haven't you seen the threads.
Eg.
I can't stand my sister in law, I don't want my mother over at Christmas.
They just haven't had the courage to break off yet.
Family is overated mostly.

My husband understood within 2 minutes of meeting DM. I'd only told him superficial details until then, but he supports me completely.

Same for me, once I explain it is never questioned but I rarely get into it unless someone asks me directly. Even extended family members don’t question it because the situation was very bad.

I don’t generally have many heavy relationships with people these days just nice normal easy relationships because I was quite the “fixer” until I confronted my family issues so in that way estrangement has had a very positive impact on my relationships.

I'd feel the same about a man who disclosed that.

Obviously some people have a legitimate reason, but also I've met narcissists and attention seekers that cut people off in a flash when they are no longer of use.

I also like to see how a man treats his family/friends to get a feel for him. If that's missing early on it just introduces a question mark not worth bothering with.