Lodger freakout deposit IDKif i can do this anymore

[ForOliveTiger]

Lodger is insisting on deducting her deposit from this months rent before leaving the house. It's now incredibly awkward and I have to live with her for another 3-4 weeks.

We have been going round in circles for hours. She has run up a £1,000 British Gas bill by having 1 hour shower every night. I feel like she's trying to bully and intimidate me and I really don't feel comfortable with her in my home anymore. The fact she is so insistent makes me think there IS damage she doesn't want me to know about.

I have unreservedly reassured her I will refund her deposit but she won't have it.

Any reason why you've not mentioned that in your chat with her, or are you keeping it secret till after she has gone so you can secretly deduct it.

Not sure how you can keep going on about “her bills” when you openly state you are in dispute with the utility co, have no smart meter or any way of proving her (or your!) useage.

From her perspective, you could be completely shafting her on that as well as potentially trying to keep the deposit if the room isn’t “immaculate”. I’m afraid you need to take of some of the hit in not doing all this properly.

Yeah you can smell them a mile off. Its all there in the OP.

im disconnecting the wifi and electric. should do it

My DSD has 1 hour showers every night and our bill is not £1000 pcm, so something off there. You don't have to house this person by law, you can ask them to leave. If they don't want to wait until inspection for deposit return they can leave now or you will call police for trespass.

And in her responses. Trying to illicit sympathy (I’m having a male friend round, I’ve called her partner) then getting aggressive when asked to account for certain clear inconsistencies in her story.

I hope the tenant reports you to revenue and any renter protection agencies, maybe suing you in a civil court for throwing her out. 🥂

She won't though, thats why the OP decided to rent it out informally to someone who has English as a second language

If you have no contract deposit protection you could both be fucked but she doesn’t seem to be bullying you she just wants her deposit and is worried you aren’t going to give it to her which almost all landlords do

£400 is a lot of money for a lot of people!

Ha! That tenant has got your number OP.. I wouldn't pay you either, knowing full well that you have no intention of giving me MY money back at the end, cowboy landlord who blames their tenants for running up bills.

Why not tell her what she owes now? You could have put that in your little chat, there's no reason for you not to, you could settle up now.. oh wait, you won't because you need her deposit money to pay your 'fucking mortgage'.

Hope she trashes the place when she leaves, I'd at least want to get my moneys worth out of you.

Politely, I don’t think you should continue taking in lodgers as you don’t seem to be strong minded enough to put your foot down regarding the unpaid utilities, and now this?

I think it’s best your lodger goes though, tomorrow.

In a 1-up 1-down, there’s you, your lodger and her child?

I’ve only read the OP’s posts, not all of the replies, but OP you sound outrageously greedy. She’s paying more than £600 per month for a bedroom in your house, not including bills, and you’re quibbling over her showering?! It sounds like you are planning to steal her deposit as well. Of course it’s not a legal obligation for you to put it in a protection scheme, but it’s still good practice. Then your solution is to invite some random man over to intimidate her and make it difficult for her to stay (in the room that she has paid for) by turning off the electricity. This is insane!

Is the lodger a mother then? Does the kid live with the houseshare? Are they going to be on the streets? Not sure who's side I'm on here or what i believe. I've been a lodger and currently have a lodger and have never had any problems. 1 hour showers every night sounds a bit excessive, is it even true? Couldn't something else be to blame?! Is the immersion permanently on?! Either way the OP doesn't come across well

@ForOliveTiger is this the woman who invited her family to stay in your teeny house? Rings a bell from another thread

You mean you like being a doormat.

JFC, this escalated. You're presenting the situation completely differently now from how you did in your OP. You've blocked her and cut off the electricity? That's indefensible.

You're now sounding pretty manipulative yourself, and a professional victim:

i got manipulated... i was tryna be nice

ive got a male friend coming over tomorrow to spend the night cuz im scared

I dont think op can respond as she is cutting off the WiFi

Declaring from the outset I don’t know where the lodger v tenant variances lie, but I would (assuming you can do so) withdraw cash to the value of the deposit, £400 or £625, and have it in an envelope. That head-on addresses her fear/contention about you not transferring to her bank account. Print out the increase in bills laying out before her arrival v after. Split the increase in two, even if this means you are at a loss. Deduct the half from her ‘envelope’ and return balance to her.

Op, in your messages to your lodger you are consistently reassuring her that you will return her deposit. But you’re not planning to, right, because you’ve already told us that you are going to deduct money from the deposit towards the electricity bill (even though you’re not sure she has indeed caused the high bill since you’re referring your energy complaint to the ombudsman). Your lodger suspects that you’re not planning to return her deposit, which is why she doesn’t want to pay you the last month of rent. You told her that her room has to be ‘’immaculate’’ for you to return her deposit and that you’ll send it to her bank account after she moves out. Why wouldn’t you offer to transfer the money on her last day, once you’ve done a quick inventory of her room?
So whilst I agree that she should pay her last month of rent and be mindful of how much hot water she uses, you’re not being honest when you’re telling her that you’ll pay her deposit back. You’re both in the wrong. Sadly, some of your replies on here make me think that you’re not actually all that pleasant. Poor lodger, I hope she has somewhere to go and someone to support her.

Respectfully, I only want to hear from lodgers. And 😂

You're a cowboy landlord OP, your intending to keep her deposit to pay for a bill you're disputing so may or may not get a refund. You have no contract or agreement in place. Hope you get what you're due in all respects.

She doesnt

OP doesn’t seem to have any agreement in writing that the lodger will pay towards bills.