To ask about your experience with male nursery staff

[GloMum]

My daughter will be starting pre-reception and her key worker at the nursery is male. As a whole, the class will be overseen by this teacher plus two more female members of staff. Does anyone have experience with male nursery staff, especially in regards to caring for girls.

Not sexist at all to have them views. 100% of rapes are committed by men. Less than 5% of SA are committed by women.

My son's nursery has a male staff member. I was hesitant until I met him. He's brilliant. Also gives a good role model for the boys too. They love him

The second one is a well known fact

The first one has been reported on in threads before.

100% of rapes happen by men because UK law states Rape involves a penis.

Outside of more tricky discussions regarding trans ... that means only men can commit rape

Its a very depressing thing to look into
But the data here might provide you all some interesting thoughts
https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/crimeandjustice/articles/abuseduringchildhood/findingsfromtheyearendingmarch2016crimesurveyforenglandandwales#survivor-and-perpetrator-relationship-by-abuse-category

Notably... BOYS are more likely to be abused by a teacher etc that a girl. But many were worried mostly by their daughters being changed by a man than their sons

Well known fact have no evidence base and something being “reported” again does not mean fact. Unless you have actual evidence I suggest you don’t post misinformation.

Men raping and abusing children. What a shock.

Well done for clocking on.

My son had a male worker at a creche he used to go to. The kids absolutely loved him, and he loved the kids and seemed to really love his job. I remember walking in and seeing him, and getting suspicious as to why a young guy would do this as a career. I checked myself and gave myself a figurative slap on the wrist for being so judgemental.

A few months later he was arrested and jailed for raping young boys in his care.
So, I'm no longer so ok with males in childcare.

And the current case in Melbourne is horrific. 1200 kids to be tested for infectious diseases. WTF. Imagine taking your precious baby to be tested for fucking STI's.

Disgusting. The issue is men here.

For all the posters who would have a problem with a male member of staff in a nursery, how would you feel if your son wanted to work with young children? Wouid you automatically decide he must be a sexual deviant and a risk to children?

I haven’t read the report on the Australian case but I would be asking how could that happen? With so many children potentially involved how did no-one see anything untoward.

How many of these posters have brought a stepdad into their child’s lives. Probably a much greater risk than a nursery worker

Well I’m assuming a stepdad isn’t a stranger since he and mother are in a relationship. A nursery worker is someone who works with children in a professional setting. Not the same thing at all.

My son works with young children. He's wonderful with them and all the kids and parents love him. He's been offered nannying roles before but always declined because he doesn't want to be alone with children to protect himself. Some of the mindsets in this thread show why that is a sensible decision. I'm actually quite glad he is getting out of teaching and into a different career. I always worry about him experiencing bias as a male but he's never actually experienced it. Most people are very positive.

No-one in any childcare setting should be able to be alone with a child anyway. To protect both the child and the workers.

This!

“…there has to be trust involved…”

over my dead body

It's more likely to be those you do trust already who are the greatest risk. Relatives, friends of the family.

I’d tell him he would be viewed with suspicion, and understandably so. The case in Australia is horrific.

That's what I told mine could happen. It turns out I was wrong.

Wrong about what? That he was viewed with suspicion? But how would he know?

He has been warmly and enthusiastically received by everyone. If anyone had any doubts that seems unlikely.

Any male I've ever worked with in both nursing and early years I've never questioned. Can't say the same for some females! X

As so many people have talked so enthusiastically about how much their child loved/loves their male child carer.(I have very fond memories of male teachers too) I’m sharing this comment from a redditor on the Australian subReddit who was abused by someone they liked and trusted Please do not drop your guard no matter how much you and your child like them.

I actually don't like the language of telling kids that if someone does something they don't like or that hurts them, to tell the parent. That is too vague. My mother told me that there were bad people out there who would want to hurt us and to tell us if they did. We thought that meant if they did something like push us or hit us. I didn't tell my mother when someone touched me inappropriately. I thought they'd be angry at me. I was quite a lot more specific and explicit with my own children. I do note that poster you shared has done that.

My kids only remember the male nursery worker clearly, they adored him. He was funny, kind, thoughtful and absolutely brilliant at his job.

I see him on his way to work sometimes he’s years older but still there and I say a silent thank you for helping me let go of my littlies and getting them out into the world.

Hope you are reassured OP. I wish we had more men in nursery and EYFS provision.

I agree that it’s somewhat vague, I’d take advice from the experts on that particular part when discussing CSA with children and I’d have cut it but I wanted to include the last line, but the main point, and the poster, who has been a victim of CSA’s point is that abusers often seem nice and that children often still love their abuser as that poster did. Humans, adults and children alike have a tendency to think that seemingly nice people would not or could not harm others. So please keep your guard up, no matter how enthusiastic your child seems to be about them.