AIBU we leave on holiday tomorrow morning and …

[Sundaybananas]

We leave on holiday tomorrow morning, and I’m the only one packed. DH and two older teens have done nothing. They barely seem to have registered that we are going tomorrow.

AIBU to just leave them to it, and if that means they have nothing but what they are standing up in then maybe they will learn for next time?

(so as not to drip feed, it’s a U.K. self catering holiday but we have to leave at 8am tomorrow, and the location is remote. There will be a small supermarket but no clothes shops.)

Even if op wasn’t getting a ferry depending on the distance alone you can need to leave early and especially to beat the traffic.

When we go to place 4-7 hours away by car we always make sure we leave at silly o’clock because by the time Dh decides it’s time to pull over for a leg stretch and toilet break you can bet on the fact the motorway will have so many more cars on it by the time our rest is done than before we stopped.

Same as how driving home always takes longer. Because you don’t leave till 10/11/12 or even the late afternoon. Traffic has built up, an accident has happened. The road work diversions are now in place every time. A 4 hour becomes then a 6 hour because you left when it was busier and shit happens.

Id rather leave at 2am and enjoy a empty road and then a stroll by the beach or though a forest whole I wait for check in than ending up stuck in a tail back for ages boiling my tits off.

Not unreasonable at all — they’re old enough to take responsibility, especially with teens involved. You've done your part, and it’s not like you haven’t reminded them. Sometimes the best lesson is letting natural consequences play out (even if it means wearing the same t-shirt twice 😅).
That said, maybe one last gentle “final call” tonight wouldn’t hurt — just to avoid full-on chaos in the morning. But definitely don’t take on the stress of packing for everyone. You deserve a break too!

I know it's too late now, but ...

DH is still playing a computer game. I reminded him again, but that’s the last time

turn the effing router off!

I have saved a a packing list for my kids on the I pad and sent it to them ( on request ) , have a few variables such as ‘ski holiday’ sailing holiday’ . They pack at their own pace and take consequences for anything forgotten but if we have an early start DH has a bags at the door policy as we are often heading for a ferry / plane . DS sticks post its on the front door occasionally with is last minute list such as headphones and electronic toothbrush etc

How about meet in the middle

op includes relevant info in op
and I’ll read all OP updates to ensure I don’t miss something

My adhd son wouldn’t read the list or if he did and he didn’t actually see the items in front of him then still wouldn’t pack them.

as I say 🤷‍♀️ I have such little opp to “mum” my teens these days that where I can do things like this for them… I jump at it!

Lol. We have returned from holidays and I was laughed at for packing a first aid (bathroom bag) kit, most of which had something used from each product I packed..

If you were married my OH you’d be REPACKING his case! He piles everything up in the middle of his case, shoes not in bags so the grubby soles make contact with clean clothes, shirts not folded correctly…….I could go on but I would be here all night 🤣.
it is so much easier to do it myself from the outset.

You are talking about your husband... an adult? Not your DS who is 8?
Just checking.

Absolutely do not do their packing for them, I am guessing you did it all for them all when they were younger. Be clear tonight that you’re not doing it, and you need to leave at 8am. And don’t let them borrow your socks while you’re away! On the other side, I hope you all have a great trip 😊

Well you don't want any burglars thinking that you haven't spring cleaned the house now do we ?

I have been in your spot. Two of my sons went on holiday when they were in secondary in only the clothes on their backs. I did pack their togs in my bag so they could swim. They had to buy new clothing out of their own money or wash them in the sink. They learned their lesson.

Do you have a job? How do you have time for all this?

@Fitasafiddle1 hasn't said if they have a job yet..

THey have a ferry to catch.

When I did this (fast pack for a rush to see a dying relative expecting to stay two or three days) I managed to put in seven pairs of socks and no underwear...

ETA: I seem to have lost the quote - this was in response to the poster who mentioned a 15 minute speedy pack after a death in the family.

My kids have been packing since about 7. First to a list and then I checked everything they’d packed, but after a couple of years they just used the list and have pretty much been independently packing ever since.

But they’ve watched their dad pack his own stuff too.

My DM used to have a holiday suitcase packed already at all times.

I heard an interview with a war correspondent or similar, she had a case permanently packed, and the first thing she did when returning home was immediately replace everything from her wardrobe so it was ready, before doing the laundry from the trip.

But what about the miniature travel sized moisturiser, face spritz, hand cream etc for the flight (long haul only obv), flight socks, change of pants / socks, jumper, kindle, water bottle, etc etc you might need for the flight. Packing my flight bag is almost my favourite bit!

If it's somewhere hot with a washing machine they need minimal clothing.

In self catering I often just pack a couple bikinis maybe a swimsuit one piece, couple shorts and vests and thats it. Maybe one kaftan or dress but I don't even bother with undies in hot countries if I'm only there a week. Just wear bikini with vest and shorts over it!

So you'd think it won't take them long to pack. Hopefully they've done it now. Don't let it bother you too much. They know the score and it's tough if they brought the wrong stuff.

Yes, we made it! 🕶

Phone signal terrible so sorry for the lack of update.

I waited until we were sat nicely relaxed on the ferry before showing DH the texts. To give him his due, he was very embarrassed and apologetic.

I’ve also learned something interesting from the thread.

To some people “packing” literally means just the act of placing things in the suitcase. These people are incredulous that it takes others more than 10 minutes.

To others (myself included) “packing” includes sourcing the items to take, washing them, possibly buying them, and other general “getting ready” tasks (like emptying the bins). I LOVED the anecdote about the husband who was “ready to pack now” provided his wife provided the things to be packed 😂

It’s literally the second last sentence in the very first post - “we have to leave at 8am tomorrow.”

Not “I would like to leave at 8am tomorrow”.

Not “It would be preferable to leave at 8am tomorrow”.

But “we have to leave at 8am tomorrow”.

You don’t even need to read all of the updates. Just to the end of the first post would do 🙄

How will he learn to pack properly if he experiences no natural consequences of half arsing it?

A good few years ago when the DCs were still stuck visiting exH EOW and we shared the Christmas break from school (7 days each, me the first seven and he the second, Christmas Eve to 6pm with him and Christmas Eve night and Day always with me). One year exMIL had the brilliant idea of throwing a spanner in the works, suggesting to exH that he take the four teen and tween DCs to see her and exFIL for his seven days as planned, but beginning Boxing Day, which would have given me four days with the DCs at the start of the Christmas break, incl Christmas Day, and three days at the end.

Of course her wish was exH's command (long story, huge issue in our marriage) and I received an email from exH telling me this was what his sainted mother wanted, with the clear expectation that i should do her bidding.

I responded saying if he or his mother thought I was going to spend the first days of the Christmas break washing seven days worth of clothes for four DCs, on top of the prep for Christmas, and time on Christmas Day itself packing clothes, toiletries, sanpro, chargers, laptops, books, hair stuff, etc, they both needed to give their heads a wobble. I heard she never forgave me for my uppityness.