To think this is not OK?

[SchoolTripSENDrama]

Name changed as this is outing.

Mumsnet, I need your wisdom. DC is in reception, has ASD and an EHCP. They have 1:1 support.

a school trip was organised which would have been completely unsuitable for DC. Partly due to them being such a flight risk but also, they would not have got on the school bus in the first place. I asked what the option was if DC didn’t attend the trip and was told the school had enough staff to accommodate them, so if DC didn’t go on the trip they would get slapped with an unauthorised absence. No option for them to attend school that day.

AIBU to think this is not ok or do I clearly not have a clue how schools work?

So as not to drip feed, I kept DC at home and their 1:1 support went on the trip with the rest of the class.
I was told I could have gone on the trip too but I had too work, plus I knew it would have been so stressful for everyone, especially DC and I wasn’t prepared to put them through that.

is this legit?

I think I've already answered that.

I'm not dignifying your supercilious tone with a response.
So, "nope", I have not changed my support for the OPs position.

I don’t think you have.

You posted about school trips, then said you would prefer they didn’t go.

My post was asking about more generally because some DC would never be able to go out without reins unless they stayed in an SN buggy/wheelchair the whole time. Not just no school trip, but not able to go anywhere. Would you really prefer your child never went out at all or to only go out in an SN buggy/wheelchair?

@perpetualplatespinning no I would not like my child on reins on a school trip. And I would not want my child going on a trip after the way I saw these boys being spoken to and restrained on reins. I'm still quite shocked and getting my head round it.

I had said I am not judging other parents at all. That is why I thought I had answered that sufficiently.

The boys I saw would not have been in a SEN buggy.

I would say it's possibly budget related as well . In adult social care it would be more likely that 2 carers are used and possibly will be in the future with the same boys.
In my experience I haven't seen an adult on reins.

@Luddite26 as I said, my question wasn’t limited to school trips. It was more general. You obviously don’t want to answer. That is your prerogative. As I also said, how they were spoken to is a different matter.

If you only saw them on a school trip, you don’t know their needs or the provision they required well enough to know the alternative wasn’t them using an SN buggy or wheelchair.

Disabled adults do use reins/harnesses sometimes. This is sometimes needed in addition to 2 or 3 carers.

I set my feelings out there.

Yes, you said “I personally would prefer DC not to go.” when talking about school trips.

My question was not just about school trips. It was about life more generally and, since reins are what enable some DC to access the community and for some the alternative is not going out or being in an SN buggy or wheelchair the whole time, if “you really prefer your DC to never go out or have to be in an SN buggy or wheelchair all the time?” You didn’t answer that part.

I would have to have built up a strong relationship with the person I was trusting to take my child out on reins. I wouldn't want my child to be pulled and spoken to in the way I witnessed in any area of life school or general.
I have no personal experience of accessing the community with a child on reins. I have worked in adult social care for over 20 years and have worked with fantastic carers and with carers I wouldn't leave a pet mouse with so I deem on the cautious side always. I also have a son who has been wheelchair bound for 15 years and I have seen the very best and the goddamn awful ways he has been treated out and about in the community. In any event I would always do what I felt right for my child or do my best to support my child.
But I don't particularly trust society today to do their best with vulnerable people.

Personally I think it's disability discrimination and I would not stand for it. I'd ask for a meeting with the head and if that didn't resolve matters I would complain formally to the governors. The 121 support should have stayed in school if it was not possible to accommodate him on the trip.

But it was possible to accommodate him on the trip? School was ready, willing and able to do so, and had arranged commensurate staffing.