To lie to dds friends strict parents

[whocaresforyou]

One of Dd(12) best friends from primary has very strict parents, basically everything fun or remotely dangerous or unhealthy she isn’t allowed to.

During primary I was obviously more in contact with friends parents and involved with the kids so agreed to follow their rules and made sure they did suitable things.

Now they’re in secondary I don’t hang around or organise activities for them much anymore. Our house has become the hangout house and there’s a group of girls here most weekends.

There were several of them round for a sleepover on Saturday night who made bubble tea, ice cream sundaes and watched twilight. All things I know friend would not be allowed to do but it was hot and there were new friends round so I didn’t want to embarrass friend and tell her she wasn’t allowed so I just stayed out of the way. There’s defiantly been a couple of similar things that have happened that I’ve heard about and just ignored over the last year.

AIBU to obviously within reason just let them get on with it from now and do these normal things and not mention any of the ‘bad’ stuff to her parents?

the alternative is I say the kids are going to be doing these sorts of things now and their dd is no longer allowed to hang out with her friends because I’m not prepared to implement these rules.

I don't think your doing anything wrong... It sounds like you are letting them have fun but still keeping an eye on things... Not exactly scandalous behaviour!! Her uptight parents have a problem sadly.

The bubble tea not an issue (does it even have caffeine in it?) I think at 12 a child is old enough to decide themselves what to eat. The film though, I would not have done that. I was strict on age labels, and I would have asked any other parents before allowing a group to watch an older rated film. There are plenty of 12 rated films that should be 15s I feel, and the age restrictions are there for a reason. I would check Common Sense Media for the reasons behind a rating when my dc were younger. Not bothered if it was for swearing, but definitely bothered if it was for violence, sexual violence etc.

This poor girl is a prime candidate for going off the rails once out of her ridiculous parents clutches

Your approach now is best I would say.

The girl is old enough now to know what she is and isn’t allowed to do so it’s not for your parent/enforce anything. If they let her stay over at yours then they will have to trust her. But for the record I think they’re ridiculous!

Blimey on my DD sleepovers years ago, I used throw Haribo and a bottle of coke in the room and shut the door and leave them to it! 😂