Having a newborn & worried about my energetic dog

[Oli16]

I am due in August with my first baby and me and my partner can’t wait - we have a 5 year old Staffy who we love dearly and is very sweet but can be quite energetic - I’m nervous about how he will be with the arrival of a new small person in the house.

For context: the lovely staff is my partners dog, he got him right around the time we met and I / we see him as both of our dog / responsibility.

When I have friends or family over, the dog tends to run around the flat or if I want to have some peace from him being so excited then I put him in the garden but he wails / cry’s so loudly it’s quite stressful.

my friend has just been over with her month old baby and was sat breastfeeding on the sofa, my dog mainly ignored her / the baby as I gave him a distraction rubber toy - but he did at one point jump up at her (to sniff baby) and his general movements are quite quick / shoving his nose into things which in a calm baby environment does make me feel stressed.

the dog is going to stay with my in laws for the first few weeks whilst we settle in with baby then will be introduced / come back home. I’m just worried when my partner goes back to work that I will have to deal with the dog and baby together but I’m more concerned about watching the dog and not having a stressful environment.

I don’t want to be that person who suddenly has no time for a dog when a baby arrives as I want us all to live harmoniously and have the dog and baby love each other - but already just feel like the dog isn’t that chilled out and quite energetic. My partner adores the dog too. Shall I see how it goes or AIBU to suggest the dog goes and lives elsewhere aka his in laws for a longer spell?

Yes, keep it at your in-laws.

Your baby should be your highest priority now and is counting on you to protect him/her.

You have a little bit of time to work on training 'place' or 'bed', if he isn't already trained to do that. I am sure I saw one of those dog training programmes with this exact situation recently. Obviously they make it look very easy and quick on the TV, and it will take a lot more time and patience in real life.

I'd speak to a dog trainer now if you are worried, and make any necessary changes now before your new arrival - although you don't have much time.

Without knowing your dog and your situation is very hard to tell you what to do otherwise?

Is it possible to start practising putting the dog in another room using a baby gate? So he can still see you but is secure. You’d want to load it up with treats, dinner time etc, so he enjoys going to the room!

Put your child first.
The dog goes elsewhere.

Or do you want to wait and see if there is a disaster

Put everything you can into extra training for the dog over the next month.
As another poster suggested, get the dog used to being in another room with a baby gate and see how he reacts.
I know it isn’t much time, but see where you’re at with training at the end of it. Dogs can sometimes learn and adapt very quickly, but overall baby’s safety needs to come first, so if he hasn’t calmed by the end, then yes, he may need to live elsewhere longer term. I’m assuming it’s just that he’s very excitable and energetic rather than shows any aggression?

A poorly trained Staff and a newborn aren't the best combination.
Why hasn't your partner trained his dog properly?
Sending the dog away won't do anything to ameliorate the situation.

Yes he’s just excited and not aggressive at all - but he’s strong and when he’s excited he does things like, jumps up at people, sniffs / puts his nose into things quite abruptly, runs around etc

Yes you need to train the dog as much as you can in the coming weeks. Sadly it's a short amount of time though. I used to walk around holding a doll and teaching my dogs not to jump lol but they were fairly chilled.

Can you look at dog walkers/daycare if needed? Get some energy out. Train him to be kept separate. Look into some snuffle mats or similar to keep him busy and tire him out.

You will likely need the dog to stay away for a little if things dont improve. It'll be hard at the start but hopefully you'll all find a new routine.

It’s a bit late to be having this conversation now. Training takes time, and did your partner know when you got pregnant that you would be wanting to ship their dog off to an unsuspecting family member for the foreseeable?

I don’t know what the right answer is here, but you are being unreasonable purely by bringing this up so late in the day.

Your dog doesn’t need to be aggressive to need training.

Sounds like your dog has no impulse control. This is a skill that should be taught and practiced from a puppy.

You can’t expect him to be calm and relaxed on a bed/in the garden if he’s never been taught how to switch off and relax in day to day life.

See of there are any good trainers offering impulse control courses near you.

Bronze Good Citizen training would be suitable, or any other 6-8 week basic behaviour course, with lots of practice in between and after.

You’ve left this quite late to address OP

How much exercise is the dog getting that he is still this energetic in the house? He needs MINIMUM an hour a day, but possibly more (appreciate that’s not always possible when it’s this hot)

Hey shoth! Firstly it’s been discussed since I found out I was pregnant that the in-laws were happy to take him when baby was born - they love the dog and everyone’s in agreement. The dog is pretty chilled in the house when it’s just us two, it’s only when visitors come he gets very hyper and excited.

Lots of exercise, look into a dog walker or we put our staffy into doggy day care. Lots of brain stimulating activities e.g snuffle mats and treats.
as much training as you can before baby is born. Our high energy staffy is great with our kids and understands when it’s time to chill out.
FYI the bulk of mumsnet is very anti dog so prepare for all the comments to get rid of the dog.

Good advice and yes, you will be told to get rid of the dog but FWIW I think it’s totally workable

This dog should have been properly trained as a puppy or at the very least when you first considered having a baby. Staffys can be pretty strong and bouncy dogs, I’m not sure why anyone would have one without putting in some basic work to train them. I wouldn’t have a poorly trained one around my precious baby.

We trained our dog not go on the sofa when we had DC1, because we didn't want him jumping on DP when she was breastfeeding. We (and the dog) got so used to it that we later forgot why we'd done it and we eventually let him back on a few years later.

It depends how big your house is, but we basically just kept the dog and the baby very separate from each other, and made sure they were never alone together. We were never sentimental about the dog and the baby having a relationship with each other or interacting at all, really, just staying calm around each other - and now, when DC1 is 4, they get on really well. Our dog is also very food motivated so we focused a lot on training him to stay down and calm when the baby was eating. For DC2, we got a 'catchy' food catcher thing for the high chair so the dog can't instantly gobble up anything that falls on the floor. DC2 (18m) loves the dog but we don't let him chase, touch or otherwise bother him - he's too little to have good impulse control. The most important thing for us is to make sure that the dog knows we'll keep annoying children away from him, so he'll have no reason to be reactive with them.

The other thing we got which was useful was a newborn attachment for our tripp trapp high chair. It's a reclined baby seat suitable for newborns, but it's attached to the top of the chair so you don't have to put the baby down in a bouncer on the floor while the dog is there.

Get a properly qualified dog behaviourist to work with you on training. It will cost, but as it’s a situation that’s occurred because you haven’t bothered to train your dog, it’s the least you could do for him before you ditch him due to an entirely foreseeable problem. The fact that you didn’t take action when you first realised you were pregnant suggests you’re not really looking for solutions that involve working on the dog though.

Totally agree with this advice, good luck.

Why has he allowed his dog to jump up at people for FIVE years?! FFS, absolute idiot.

I think it’s great that you’ll have that time initially just to settle into parenthood without your dog stressing you out (or being stressed out by the change). I think you just need to see how you feel about it once the baby is here - see how you can reintroduce them without feeling overwhelmed or angry with them. I def wouldn’t go from no dog to full time again around when your partner goes back go work though - that’s a lot to manage. If possible, I’d set up a room where your dog can be happy and comfortable and use it from now too, so it’s not all change post baby. Also maybe look into a good walker so they can have a good runaround without being told off and you can have a break! They might be a little sad about being separated sometimes but it’s important that the baby’s safety is prioritised and despite being a huge fan of dogs, I wouldn’t trust any dog with a newborn. It’s also important that you don’t feel stressed all the time because of your dog. Post partum has hard enough moments without additional worries!

We have large dog GSD x Rottie and a 2 year old. We have put a lot of training into the dog since a puppy so he wasn't especially bouncy when the baby was born.
But we had strict rules we put into place when our little was born which we still continue - Always make sure we never leave dog and baby alone, dog always in another room when baby having tummy time, dog always has to stay on his bed when bottle feeding and he now has to stay on the bed whilst little one is in the high chair.
A lot of baby toys look like dog toys so be strict and use positive reinforcement with the dog because you don't want the baby things getting dirty/dog drool on. We left opened pots of Sudacream, nappy creams and baby oil etc round the hosue to get used to the smell.
And I always put the dog away when visitors HV etc come, he would cry a bit but if you leave dog bed bowl and water and a toy they'll settle down.
Be careful when baby starts crawling and don't let them touch or go near dogs food/water bowls. The dog soon learnt if he wanted a walk he had to walk at the same speed as the pram or he got left behind.
And the best thing we taught the dog was the command Leave It. Good if little one drops some food/dog is interested in a baby toy/also if your out on a walk and there is something nasty on the floor or another dog.
Good luck it can be done having a newborn and a dog you just need to be more careful xx

I love dogs but I love my baby even more. Not a chance in hell I'd be having my baby and a Staffie in the same house. Why even risk it?

Prioritise the baby, give the dog to someone else 👍

Snuffle matts and games involving food are not a valid substitution for training. Why people always recommend this above actual training is probably why there are so many badly behaved dogs.

Train your dog.

If you send it away for the first few weeks, you should probably just remove the dog altogether. A dog removed from its home that comes home and finds a baby, and new limitations in place, is not going to be a happy dog. You’re better off either flat out rehoming or having the dog stay and training it up now.