Having a newborn & worried about my energetic dog

[Oli16]

I am due in August with my first baby and me and my partner can’t wait - we have a 5 year old Staffy who we love dearly and is very sweet but can be quite energetic - I’m nervous about how he will be with the arrival of a new small person in the house.

For context: the lovely staff is my partners dog, he got him right around the time we met and I / we see him as both of our dog / responsibility.

When I have friends or family over, the dog tends to run around the flat or if I want to have some peace from him being so excited then I put him in the garden but he wails / cry’s so loudly it’s quite stressful.

my friend has just been over with her month old baby and was sat breastfeeding on the sofa, my dog mainly ignored her / the baby as I gave him a distraction rubber toy - but he did at one point jump up at her (to sniff baby) and his general movements are quite quick / shoving his nose into things which in a calm baby environment does make me feel stressed.

the dog is going to stay with my in laws for the first few weeks whilst we settle in with baby then will be introduced / come back home. I’m just worried when my partner goes back to work that I will have to deal with the dog and baby together but I’m more concerned about watching the dog and not having a stressful environment.

I don’t want to be that person who suddenly has no time for a dog when a baby arrives as I want us all to live harmoniously and have the dog and baby love each other - but already just feel like the dog isn’t that chilled out and quite energetic. My partner adores the dog too. Shall I see how it goes or AIBU to suggest the dog goes and lives elsewhere aka his in laws for a longer spell?

Nobody has said to only use snuffle mats. Both posts mentioning these including mine also stated alongside plenty of training.

@Emma543 but OP doesn't need snuffle matts. She needs to train her dog. Mentioning them is just another opportunity for her to neglect the training that should have been done. Training is the only thing that will fix this. Not a snuffle matt.

Of course she needs to train her dog literally everyone has said this. But there is no harm in also supplementing training with snuffle mats and gives them a quiet activity. Nowhere did anyone claim it will ‘fix it’. It’s an adjunct.

I have a very well trained working dog, not a staffy. There’s no way I would have had her around my children as babies. She’s very good and doesn’t exhibit any of the behaviours you are describing, but she is big and has scratchy nails. One bad move and it would be easy for her to knock a baby or toddler over. My youngest is 7 and while indoors she is very calm and trained to lie in her bed on command, outside she can still sometimes bound into him and completely run him over.

I would not have had her with a baby. No way. It only takes leaving a door cracked one time during tummy time or a nap while you turn your back to get a drink or have a wee. I think dog needs to find somewhere to live where it can get the attention it needs and not need to be crated or limited in what it can do. And you need to keep your baby safe as a first priority.

I have a Boston terrier so, exactly the same personality as a staffie. I shared your worries but he has been amazing with the little one. We made sure he had a blanket from the hospital, at met her at the house, before he went to my folks for 2 weeks so we could settle in. Made sure he had walks lined up with his dog walkers when he was back for some one on one time. He’s adjusted beautifully and is so patient now she’s older and starting to want to play.

In your circumstances, I would get rid of the dog, without hesitation. Baby comes first.

Ultimately your partner has to find a solution. It's his dog really

This might be overreaction on my part, but I wouldn’t have any dog, of any size or temperament around a small baby. I’d definitely move the dog or even give it up. It’s just not worth the risk, however small. Good on you for thinking about this in advance.

I would absolutely get a dog trainer involved. They really can work miracles. I have two dogs that barked at the slightest sound in the street and if the doorbell rang, all hell broke loose. Within half an hour of training with a compressed air spray they were so much quieter and with in a week we could just make the shushing noise and they’d stop. Definitely dog trainer and I wish you joy with your baby and dog.

I personally wouldn’t have the dog stay elsewhere initially I think that will do more harm than good! You’d be surprised how much they just know. I was worried about my dog she’s cross chihuahua and jack Russell but for diff reasons mainly jealousy. I showed her baby soon as we got home and let her have a look sniff etc. it was like she knew to be gentle instinctively. Obv be careful but I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised

Don’t be ridiculous plenty of families have babies and dogs. It’s awful when people get rid of the dog cause a baby is coming. They’re part of the family you just have to prepare

Also don’t panic about jumping etc he/she just wants to see and sniff that’s friendly. how old is your dog? You can train that out but if you’re nervous about doing it alone which I totally understand then have a separate room the dog can go in when you need it. Do small periods of time and slowly increase as it’s successful. 1 min 2 mins 5 mins etc etc and reward dog for being calm staffs are clever it will soon stick! As baby grows up with a dog around they will end up becoming best of friends too and it’s so lovely to watch. It’s also good for little one as they don’t end up scared of dogs either. As long as you’re careful and don’t take risks you’ll be fine x

Cannot understand all the get rid of dog comments it’s awful!! A dog is part of the family and unless the dog is dangerous or not trustworthy etc there’s no reason to get rid. It makes me so sad I could never do that! It’s not like throwing an old dress away it’s a living creature that loves and trusts their family

Hi OP, Congrats on your pregnancy and on having a lovable pup! I was in a similar situation when I had my DS, except ours was (is) a bonkers cockerpoo. I stressed too, but it was fine. The concession we made was to allow our dog to be near DS (to sniff and be close to) whenever we were immediately next to them and if I had to leave DS (asleep/ to do housework), DS was left safe (in play pen / in cot etc) where dog couldn’t get at them and I took dog with me (eg, I went to hang out washing, DS put in pram / cot / in pen (age dependent) and dog came with me)). Try not to stress about it but never leave them alone together and take sensible precautions. It will be fine 😊

Dog trainer here, we have 4 dogs (including a 8 week pup) a 22month old son and a 8 week old baby daughter.
All 4 of our dogs are high energy/working breeds but it’s just not a problem if they are trained well, please take this time before baby arrives to find a good trainer and work on things like “bed” “settle” and dog being ok with being put in a different room/away from you. If they aren’t already I’d look at crate training too.
I’d get baby bits set up early too Moses basket/pram etc so that the dog is used to them being there and doesn’t see them as new and exciting items.

Also how about getting a dog walker a couple of times a week so that dog gets a good long walk whilst your partner is out and takes the edge off of the energy levels. I’d go and buy a few kongs and fill them with food/freeze them. Personally I wouldn’t have the dog stay away for so long I think it just make him more excited/restless when he comes back, are your in-laws local enough that if the dog is at home they could take him out for a couple of hours/take him home for a day rather than him being completely away.

but honestly your be fine the dog may completely surprise you and take it in his stride and not be as hyper as you think but you do need to put in some training/expectations now x

Hey! Thanks so much. So many judgey people on these comments, so thanks for just some rational advice.

I do think our dog will adjust fine to be honest, he’s very calm when it’s just us in the flat together. He just is so excited when friends / visitors come round. I make him sit and wait in his bed until he stops crying / barking before greeting guests. Although this doesn’t seem to work really and my partner seems to just be used to his behaviour whereas I think it’s a problem and really needs fixing!

we have a dog walker take him out 2-3 times a week for a 2 hour walk then we take him out everyday. He just needs lots of stimulation!

I just know I will be so preoccupied with the newborn and tired etc so training our dog or even feeling like I have energy to do this is stressing me out.

Baby comes first, get rid of the dog 👍👶✅, 🐶👋

Would highly recommend getting a good trainer in - someone reg with the ABTC or APBC though, not some 'balanced' (ie, aversive based) arsehole.

Your dog is giddy and excited about visitors because they're novel and random, your baby will be a constant and not at all the same thing.

Work out the issues you want to fix and also some routines - whilst a baby is almost guaranteed not to fit into the routine you had in mind, having a routine you can then adjust is a better start than going from no routine at all to sudden routine from the dogs point of view!

Things like, being happy behind a gate or room divider - being happy in a crate (short periods only, crates are much more limiting than a room divider or gate) - being able to send the dog to his bed, have him wait before jumping up on the couch - walk nicely on lead next to a pram or push chair, are all verrrrrrry useful and you have time to put thos ein place now, and train them.

Having a trainer come to your house will mean they can tailor training to your facilities and home set up.

I also strongly recommend the free resource on Facebook - Dog Training Advice and Support (be aware there are several groups of that name, you want the one that has nearly 400K members and is run by professional trainers/behaviourists/vets!) - it is not a general discussion group and does have a TON of useful advice in the files even if you never get as far as posting a question!