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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be sorry I ever planned a road trip with teens

49 replies

Oceann · 30/06/2025 10:55

We are on a summer road trip to California. Holiday of a lifetime but teens whinging about having to move around, DH whinging about teens whinging and I’m exhausted with all the organising .

AIBU to plan an all inclusive week next year as I am sick of the hassle and lack of gratitude !

OP posts:
Bogfrog · 30/06/2025 10:57

We did a US road trip with 9 and 12 year olds last year. We stayed in each place at least 2 nights. Do you think you’re jamming too much in? Assume their screens are loaded up for the drives.

Swiftie1878 · 30/06/2025 11:00

We did it with a 5 year old and it was bliss.
Sounds like your teens didn’t really buy into the whole idea of it?
Try slowing down, and staying longer in fewer places. And breathe!! x

Lmnop22 · 30/06/2025 11:01

Maybe get them to plan a day each? Something they won’t moan about and takes the pressure of planning off you?

unsurewhattodoaboutit · 30/06/2025 11:01

Glad we did it when it was just us two and not teens. I remembered a work colleague going on their expensive California road trip and their two kids moaned so much she said that was their last expensive holiday.

vivainsomnia · 30/06/2025 11:03

The thing is, they'll discuss it in 5 years time and roll it as if they had the time of their lives! The moaning is part of being grumpy teenagers but it doesn't mean they are not enjoying...in their own way!

Original poster
Oceann · 30/06/2025 11:11

I think our problem is we are doing it via trains / Ubers etc and that just puts a lot of hassle into the mix .

DH doesn’t like driving abroad anymore and would drive me nuts if I was driving .

We are spending 3 -4 nights in most locations, just one night in one location

OP posts:
NeedthatFridayfeeling · 30/06/2025 11:12

Sorry to hear that OP, we did it when our daughter was 7 and she loved it, same again this summer but Oregon and Washington and she'll be 9 and is really excited.
How many nights are you staying in each place? We learned from California we needed to do at least 2 nights, 1 night was such a faff.
I'll remember this though for when she's a teen, just in case!

MiddleAgedDread · 30/06/2025 11:13

Did you ask for their input when planning this? Just because it seemed like your idea of a good holiday doesn't mean it's theirs!

Original poster
Oceann · 30/06/2025 11:22

@MiddleAgedDread We did and have done all the teen things - universal, shopping, tik tok food places etc ….

OP posts:
unsurewhattodoaboutit · 30/06/2025 11:23

A California road trip that’s not a road trip. Sounds like you’ve made lots of work for yourselves. Maybe your kids are picking up on your angst. At least when you’ve hired a car you have freedom to stop anywhere and see anything at your own pace.

Swiftie1878 · 30/06/2025 11:25

Oceann · 30/06/2025 11:11

I think our problem is we are doing it via trains / Ubers etc and that just puts a lot of hassle into the mix .

DH doesn’t like driving abroad anymore and would drive me nuts if I was driving .

We are spending 3 -4 nights in most locations, just one night in one location

Yeah, that’s not really a ‘road trip’ is it? Instead of feeling that sense of freedom, you’re constantly checking train and bus times etc.
Hire a car! Get over your hesitations and go for it. It’s so liberating!!

rookiemere · 30/06/2025 11:26

How long are the journeys? If their moans are not based on any genuine concerns, I would remind them that they are more fortunate than 95%* of the population to actually be able to afford to go on a trip to the US based around their interests and you can cancel it if it doesn’t suit. Unfortunately many teens are set to default whinging mode, and need reminding that their DPs are working hard to be able to afford these amazing holidays, so a little positivity goes a long way.

Or alternatively every time they moan “What are you most looking forward to seeing on this trip?” just refuse to engage with the whining.

*No idea if that percentage is correct, doubt anyone is going to check.

rookiemere · 30/06/2025 11:27

Oh and don’t hire a car if you don’t feel comfortable driving abroad. We had much more relaxing holiday in Costa Rica using shuttles and taxis.

DryDay · 30/06/2025 11:30

This holiday would have been challenging and not relaxing for me when I had teens.

We booked Mark Warner holidays. Loads of kids the same age, sporty, sociable supervised fun. It was so happy and fun and relaxing - for all of us.

JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn · 30/06/2025 11:32

Why not just pick a location and get there as quick as you can and stay there for the rest of the holiday? Getting on and off buses and trains does sound pretty bad to be honest. It’s a lot of hanging around, not getting to sit together, looking out of a window… Get to a beach a chill!

NHSinterviewupcoming · 30/06/2025 11:35

Oceann · 30/06/2025 11:11

I think our problem is we are doing it via trains / Ubers etc and that just puts a lot of hassle into the mix .

DH doesn’t like driving abroad anymore and would drive me nuts if I was driving .

We are spending 3 -4 nights in most locations, just one night in one location

So it’s not a road trip, is it?

it sounds like hell on earth. The USA has a famously rubbish train network as well, it’s more commuter trains. So you’re basically just shoving them on the tube and then into an uber.

CountryQueen · 30/06/2025 11:37

That’s not a road trip. Sounds like hard bloody work! Road trips are about having the freedom of the road and not having to pack up everything every time you move on since you’ve got the car and a big boot! Squished in the back of an uber with your mum or dad is not fun 😅

Garbera · 30/06/2025 11:40

I think a lot of people have at least one hideous holiday with a teen who's at a particularly difficult stage of grumpiness. The choice of holiday probably doesn't help, but maybe it was just your turn for this. It might have been terrible at AI too. Sometimes it's just not your fault.

CyberStrider · 30/06/2025 11:40

I can't imagine trying to do any sort of trip relying on public transport in the US

I've done a few road trips over there and I'd say at least 75% of the things we've seen are only accessible by car (or organised group tours).

JassyRadlett · 30/06/2025 11:42

I'll go against the grain and say we've done lots of Interrail style holidays as a family and bloody loved them, but I think it's very different in Europe where the train network is better, and my kids are natural explorers so lots of different stops suits them down to the ground. You do have to be super efficient at packing and getting on the road again though.

I think it's much tougher in the US without a car - that said we're doing NYC, DC and Boston this year with trains in between but we have 5 nights in each place.

Mumble12 · 30/06/2025 11:44

I really wanted to do this, thought the kids would love it. When we sat down to talk about it, they completely didnt get the point. They've only ever really had all inclusives before though so I think the concept was lost on them.

I booked something different in the end instead. I'd have come with you, it's definitely my idea of fun 😂

thisoldcity · 30/06/2025 11:44

We did something similar with our teens. It all cost a load of money and they did a lot of moaning, but now many years later as adults they look back on it all as a great experience! Yours will probably do the same eventually.

godmum56 · 30/06/2025 11:48

take the lesson, don't do it again until the kids have left home.

ThePhantomoftheEcobubbleOpera · 30/06/2025 11:48

Urgh, the trains are so slow, I remember feeling like I could get out and run quicker.

Kubricklayer · 30/06/2025 11:50

Road trips sound more funner in your head than they actually are. The odd day or two yeah, but as an extended holiday, screw that.