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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to expect my friend to change holiday plans?

54 replies

Redcliffe1 · 29/06/2025 16:18

This might be a bit long but trying not to drip feed. I've wanted to go scuba diving for years and have spent the last year getting my swimming to a point were I can swim 200 m (a requirement to be able to do the course). A few months ago I booked a taster session and one of my friends said they would be keen to try it so they booked on for the same taster session and we both loved it. They hadn't been swimming in years but are pretty fit and confident they could swim it so we booked on to a weekend course for August. In the last few weeks they have come swimming twice and clearly can't do the required swimming. I told them I could be flexible and we could go on a later date if they couldn't get their swimming to the required level. We had already booked the hotel as well - plan was to go up on Thursday, check out the town on the Friday and then scuba dive training Saturday all day and morning Sunday then back Sunday afternoon. They are confident they can get their swimming to a good enough point so Aug is still the plan.

Turns out my youngest son (11) has an award thing on the Friday - his dad and brother are going so I thought it would be ok if I didn't go but turns out he really wants me there. I could go, get the train with my friend and we would get there just after 6 so enough time for dinner and then we could come back on Monday night instead. Given how I was happy to be flexible about them and change the month if needed Im surprised to find out they are adamant we stick to the earlier plan. Im not sure if I'm being unreasonable or they are.

OP posts:
Arlanymor · 29/06/2025 19:17

TheCurious0range · 29/06/2025 19:08

The thing is by going on the Friday night you completely change the holiday, there's no spending time together seeing the town going out etc, it's just get there, grab dinner go to bed early to be up early for scuba, going out on a Sunday day evening depending where you are will be more difficult and even if things are open they'll be quiet.
Could you propose a completely different weekend with the same plan you agreed? If not you'll have to miss the awards.

Edited

Totally agree - do you think the poster might be wanting the moon on a stick?

Redcliffe1 · 29/06/2025 19:28

I guess going Friday to Monday is a very different vibe to Thursday to Sunday- had not considered that

OP posts:
CarpetKnees · 29/06/2025 20:47

Have to agree with everyone else.
YABVU to even think about asking your friend to change like this at any point, let alone last minute.
You are also doing your ds no favours to bring him up to think that is something he could just ask and you would jump to.

Eldermileniummam · 29/06/2025 20:53

You're the one who changed the plan so you're being unreasonable to expect her to be happy to change the holiday dates. It's irrelevant that you would have changed dates for her as that didn't actually happen.

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