Neurospicy

[Bearinthesmallmessyflat]

I’ll preface this by saying I’m neurodivergent myself (adhd)
I’ve notice more and more people using the phrase neurospicy instead of neurodivergent. It started off online but now I know people who use it in person and I absolutely bloody hate it.
I don’t know if I’m being unreasonable because I can’t really articulate why I dislike it so much? It’s a bit like the ‘oh I’m just so weird and crazy people’ I feel

it’s all part of “we’re all on the spectrum somewhere” thing. And even worse, the Mumsnet “X is behaving like a complete shit” “Oh, is he ND?” as if it’s somehow an excuse, an explanation and a belief that ND people can’t behave in perfectly polite, civilized ways. And a belief that somehow being ND makes you more interesting.

Goodness but this thread is depressing. A series of people saying "neurospicy" is used by "this group" (sneer) or "that group" (sneer) followed by "Don't they know spicy has (random nonsensical connotation)?" Its like listening to bar room bores in the 1970s complaining that "gay means happy so why are the poofs using it".

My son has properly diagnosed ADHD. Several of his close friends have either ADHD or ASD. It affects their lives enough for them to have sought a diagnosis and to use medication to enable themselves to manage their educational and work lives.

None of them regards it as a superpower - any benefit of hyperfocus is easily outweighed by the days under a weighted blanket - but it is who they are. And they use neurospicy because that's the word that they have chosen to represent their experience of life.

And their lived experience does not negate the experience of people who have nonverbal ASD with complex learning difficulties. But it's a different kind of difficult.

As a mother of a now grown man I hate the term-really gets on my nerves tbh-maybe because for my son being autistic and having adhd has not helped him in life at all.

This is a bit of a reach. Not the same thing at all. Was there any need to use that offensive term as well? 🙄

And many of us commenting on the use of “neurospicy” are ND ourselves.

Correct.

Mind, the term "spicy straights" is often used by those of us old enough to be 'traditional' LGB about straight people pretending to be something other than plain old straight!

I think this comes back to what I said before about the term adding a layer of confusion. It seems as if people are using it in different ways.

People can use whatever terms they want but for the sake of clarity I wish they wouldn’t.

I think it’s trite nonsense, but in all honesty I feel the same about neurodiverse and neurodivergent. Sticking “neuro” in front of something doesn’t make it a medical descriptor. It’s on line terminology rather than meaningful.

Guarantee the ones using this haven't had any formal diagnosis, otherwise they'd definitely use the full terms.

Absolutely it’s my choice, and I understand others may not like to use it. But I think if you have a Neurodiversity then you should be able to refer to it however you like. It’s my disability, and I deal with things differently than others may do. I personally hate “Autism is my superpower”. It’s not a superpower, it’s a pain in the arse, that makes my life a lot harder than others. So I totally get where you’re coming from.

Yes, I understand what spicy means. Honestly, I feel that my Autism is unpleasant, and I have to warn people I’m autistic, as I don’t tend to do well when meeting new people. I also have to inform new workplaces that I’m autistic, and give them reasonable adjustments to ensure I don’t have a mental breakdown. I tend to use the Neurospicy term to help me break the ice with new people. It sometimes puts Neurotypical people at ease, when I joke about it, as sometimes people can be a bit awkward about Neurodiversity. Does that make sense?

I have heard numerous ways of describing ND from my (diagnosed) autistic teenager, just like any other alternative phrases for anything, these things do the rounds. I dont think anyone is in a position to "guarantee" how someone else views their ND, diagnosed or not.

Yes, some of us that use the term have been formally diagnosed. I have an ASD report from two psychologists, that’s around 30 pages long. However, I don’t like going around saying to people “I have Asperger’s”. I either say I’m Autistic, or Neurospicy. It’s just the way I am as a person, and the way I deal with it. Every Autistic person is different, after all, it’s a spectrum. I’ve had a shit time living with Asperger’s, so if I wanna make light about it, and joke about it, I absolutely will. It’s my disability, and I have to live with my brain, which by the way I would never wish on anyone, cos it’s bloody hard.

If someone has a type of neurodiverge that meaningfully limits their ability to operate in the world then I think they should be able to use whatever term they find most positive and helpful for them.

However, people who describe completely normal variances in the way people think as "spicy" are annoying. No you're not "neurospicy" because you're a bit sensitive to sounds or a bit forgetful. If that was the case then we'd all be neurospicy.

DH is dyslexic and has ADHD, DS is Autistic and currently going through the assessment process for ADHD, DD is Autistic and Dyspraxic. I'm not formally diagnosed with anything but professionals involved with the kids have suggested I have Autistic traits. The SENCO at the kids school described us as "a very neurospicy" household in a meeting and I was momentarily irritated by her phrasing but then got over myself. I don't think she meant any offense. Although I find the phrase a bit twee DD (11) says she quite likes it and she's entitled to talk about her diagnoses however she chooses.

I'm just going to be a bit pedantic here: one person can't be neurodiverse. Diversity only exists in a group. So a group of people containing some who are neurotypical and some who are neurodivergent would be a neurodiverse group. But an individual is either neurotypical or neurodivergent.

I was once described as 'diverse' for being a lesbian, and I pointed out that I'm not remotely diverse- I only have one sex, one sexual orientation, one race, etc.

I also hate the term 'neurospicy', incidentally.

Yes, I must admit, whenever I hear 'neurospicy' I assume (perhaps incorrectly) the person using it is self-diagnosed, because it automatically makes me think of the 'spicy straights' who self-diagnose themselves as 'queer' despite being entirely heterosexual.

Why do they do that? The spicy straights i mean

I agree. I also heard someone describe their child as 'having the 'tism' which made me unexpectedly ragey but I'm not sure why.

This is a really interesting explanation of where the phrase comes from which makes it easier to understand why people use it! I wonder whether many of the people using it know the origin story and are using it semi ironically/ as an in-joke, or whether it just caught on and most people don't have this context in mind...

Eugh yes! Badges and stickers that say "twas the tism m'lord" really get my goat, all this twee stuff really annoys me. My DD finds daily life very hard and confusing, and the whole 'neurospicy' and 'touch of the tism' lot just make light of the difficulties that many people with a learning disability experience.
I also think there's a damaging knock on effect that people with no experience of neurodiversity start to believe that it's all brightly dyed hair, quirky tattoos and telling people you only like using a certain spoon.

Badges and stickers that say "twas the tism m'lord" really get my goat, all this twee stuff really annoys me. My DD finds daily life very hard and confusing, and the whole 'neurospicy' and 'touch of the tism' lot just make light of the difficulties that many people with a learning disability experience

Even worse I think the constant reference to being "high functioning" can further stigmatise those who are not. It feels to me like they're promoting an acceptable (in group) and non-acceptable way to be neurodivergent e.g. are people with dementia neurospicy?

This is how I first heard it too.

It's a massive spectrum not everyone is highly intelligent 🙄 we need to get rid of this mytth
Some people are profoundly disabled by their autism go to my sons special school for children with severe and profound learning disabilities, at least half have a diagnosis of autism and the other half probably should.

If they’ve actually got neurodivergence, that is. ‘Neurospicy’ just sounds like something said by those people who used to say, ‘I’m mad, me! You should see me on a night out!’ when in fact they are just a bit loud and lairy after a few vodkas.

Because they think it makes them more interesting.

Funnily enough, it's only started in the years since gay people have been afforded full equality. None of them were quite so keen to share in the gay experience when it meant experiencing significant discrimination.

Thats one way to look at it, if that is the case then what difference does it make to anyone else? Surely how someone describes their own ND is of no consequence to anyone else. Its not like these people are demanding that others refer to them in this way, unless that has completely passed me by?