Neurospicy

[Bearinthesmallmessyflat]

I’ll preface this by saying I’m neurodivergent myself (adhd)
I’ve notice more and more people using the phrase neurospicy instead of neurodivergent. It started off online but now I know people who use it in person and I absolutely bloody hate it.
I don’t know if I’m being unreasonable because I can’t really articulate why I dislike it so much? It’s a bit like the ‘oh I’m just so weird and crazy people’ I feel

Haven’t heard people here say it for a while, but it was a big thing a few years back - actually probably 15-20 years back, thinking about it.

That’s interesting! My ex is like this after his recent diagnosis.

My dc are ND and they’d never use the term. They would rather use the correct terminology if necessary.

Loads of middle aged women of my acquaintance (I'm a middle aged woman myself) self diagnose as ADHD (when it's fairly obvious that the symptoms are recent and probably the stress of the sandwich generation years with both elderly parents becoming dependent and teenage children still age appropriately dependent including financially, and both generations projecting their legitimate emotional turmoil onto the middle aged women in the middle who are themselves in peri-menopause AND working full time and probably carrying the mental load and often supporting depressed husbands who "open up" that their depression is due to insufficient attention.... That kind of chronic stress plus menopause creates executive function problems with a very similar presentation to ADD or ADHD without learning difficulties).

My mother self diagnosed as having Lupus when she actually had arthritis... Some people aelf diagnose with something they perceive as being more youthful to avoid admitting to themselves that they have a condition associated with ageing or are under huge stress they can't actually do anything to reduce!

Neurospicy is what me and my friends might use to describe someone without a diagnosis of autism, but who we would definitely diagnose if it were up to us.
Its not used in place of neurodiverse or autistic. Its just used sometimes in a friendly jokey way.

In my experience the people who have a vibe of the ND being their ‘whole personalty’ are usually late diagnosed people who are expressing - THIS is why my whole life have been so effing hard !!
I’m not worthless / broken / whatever the negative self belief is .… im neurodivergent and they kind of want to yell it !!
some feel that the ND community can be tight gatekeepers - stay in your own lane, you are just jumping on the bandwagon kind of stuff !!

let them embrace their self acceptance ! Don’t perpetuate a lifetime of telling them they are getting it wrong !!!!

An American woman I met at an event was talking about her sister bringing up her (the sister's) six year old grandson, whom she described as being "neurospicy as well as having learning difficulties" so I'm not sure everyone is using it the same way. That was the first time I heard it, although I've since seen it online more.

Hate it as well. Nothing spicy with my son. His autism has only been a negative in his life that he tries to live as well as he can despite the huge disadvantage of having a disability. Nothing spicy for his parents either unless you think seeking urgent psychiatric help in the middle of the night is spicy.

It's just a "look at me, I'm interesting! Here are my identities" tiktok nonsense thing.

I suppose the opposite of it for neurotypical folk is "neurobland" or "chickencognition" or "boil in the bag brain"

I’m late diagnosed as well. I have never felt the need to make ND my whole personality, though, despite things being difficult.

i’m as entitled to hate the term as others are to use it.

It's all down to personal preference or opinion I guess. I myself despise that term and find it cringe, and an attempt to make autism or ADHD sound like some cutesy personality quirk rather than what it is. I am autistic and find it disabling on a daily basis - I can't make phone phonecalls at all, need my husband to help me navigate new places or people, and have crippling executive dysfunction. That along with meltdowns which, although rare, can happen in front of my children, in public, etc which is utterly embarrassing.

If I were to use the word neurospicy in relation to myself, I'd feel it minimised the actual reality of living under the neurodivergent umbrella.

“Neurobland” 😂 love it

Wasnt neurospicy initially used to describe ND households with multiple different diagnoses, or a person with multiply diagnoses?

I'm 57, dyslexic and ADHD myself

I hate it

I've spent my entire life coping with the symptoms and being pulled up for mistakes I've learned from and not made again

To see people my age, older and younger using it as excuse to carry on as they are is just infuriating

The world will see and adapt so far, but showing up on time, sticking to the system you work within and staying employed shouldn't be seen as some sort of heroic acheivements deserving of applause every time you get it right

Ha. I'm not 'spicy'. I'm guessing that means with autism comes high intelligence? Well my siblings are just as clever and accomplished as I am. But they're not autistic. I'm all for celebrating differences but let's not pretend that being ND is some kind of of some secret society.

There is nothing wrong with you

My kids in their twenties use it. It doesn't bother me.

I started hearing this when I was a TA helping with neurodivergent kids in primary school. But only from parents describing themselves. I didn't like it then, and I find it weird now. Spicy in food is about culture and tolerance and the idea that someone uses that label to mask that they are unpalatable as a person rubs me the wrong way. A very disabled, nonverbal autistic child is not "neuro spicy", they are disabled by a neurodevelopmental condition. Equally, an adult who is a quirky jerk who blames all their horrible behaviour on a condition and then says we should all just accept it due to being neuro spicy is unhelpful.

I don't mind quirky, I mind when it is used as an excuse to harm other people.

I'm a community paediatrician and I've learnt so much from here about what does and doesn't work language wise. I will endeavour not to use neuro spicy at work.

I do use this for my own family. I have a ds diagnosed with ASD and dcd, a daughter diagnosed with epilepsy, ADHD and ASD, another son who isn't diagnosed with ASD ( but as a diagnostician I know he has autism, he's on a waiting list) and another neurotypical but quirky little boy. My husband only wears jersey shorts (even in February) and never leaves the house.

Everyone is toilet trained and verbal. They have their struggles and things are tricky at times but they are also kind of great. And believe me I'm not an 'autism is a superpower' sort of person. In my job, I see so many kids and families that are struggling so much and sometimes it's just rubbish and tricky.....

But my family are quirky and different and funny and sometimes things are a struggle but we usually get through it by trying to understand differences and neurospicy seems like a gentle term that understands that we all have different challenges but that we can approach them with humour, tolerance and positivity that's what it means to me!

It didn’t bother me too much at first, when I just saw a few people using it tongue-in-cheek online. I didn’t like it, but I didn’t hate it either. As it became more common parlance it began to feel less like a in-joke and more like a way of making neurodiversity seem more lighthearted and funny.

I have nothing against any neurodivergent people being lighthearted and funny, for reference- I’d just rather be lighthearted and funny by my own merit than purely by virtue of being a “quirky” autistic. I don’t mind people knowing that neurodiversity isn’t all suffering and negative symptoms, but “neurospicy” swings too far in the other direction for me.

At the same time, I’m hesitant to criticise because I also feel that the majority of people using it are newly-diagnosed young adults who are still riding the high of self-acceptance, understanding and newfound community. The word bothers me, but I don’t hold it against the people who use it.

Rizz ‘em with the ‘tism babes 🤣

again, cringe. But if someone wants to use it then whatever

I loathe it. I had a parent who kept using it and I wanted to be sick. I also have a colleague who uses it - their choice but I did tell them it gives me the heebie jeebies. I might raise with my neuro society and see what they think.

Saw this recently at a professional conference. One of the speakers %(F50’s) is a founder of an organisation for those who are autistic “she preferred this to with autism” But she also used neurospicey several times. She also did several performative “oh something on the ceiling caught my eye then” moments 🙄

I think it started as a bit of a tongue in cheek response to people keep saying oh does s/he have mild autism, like there was a nandos style autism chart. I heard more parents of children with high care needs saying 'no the spicy kind' but its moved into neurospicy meaning anyone who even suspects adhd/autism.

I dont love it, but prefer it to superpower stuff though as I still see the early joke.

Saying “with autism” or “has autism” is to me correctly frowned upon. It suggests a disease or something you can pick up and put down. Autism is a neurodevelopmental difference with varying degrees of support need. It is very common for people to correct the “with”.

Saying “with autism” or “has autism” is to me correctly frowned upon.

I have an ASD diagnosis and I genuinely couldn't care less. I forget which way round the cross-making one is most of the time.

I mean you're not getting a diagnosis if you dont have difficulties, but then you have people getting offended if you're nor proclaiming it's a wonderful superpower.