DSC birthday present

[MILisProfessorUmbridge]

It was DT birthday recently, PIL bought them a nice gift each.

DSC is here, he has also been given the same present when his birthday isn’t for months.

DT receive nothing from her on DSC birthday.

AIBU to be a bit miffed about this?

I don’t know my children would defo be more focused on the fact their grandparents bought them a switch and that they can play Mario kart with eachother and thank them with their excitement and manners.

Depends on age of child. Mine would certainly be miffed that their sibling just got given a switch they had been wanting for ages and told to wait for 'just because'.

Ther is no way of knowing their train of thought unless there is a big back history ans DSC always gets more I don’t see this one off event as something that should cause an issue.

Yes, DSC always gets more….ive had to have a word before because PIL would literally gift DSC things in front of DT who got nothing.

DSC mum is actually a lot more wealthy than us. Multiple holidays abroad, etc. DSC mum also thinks it’s bizarre.

Gift was substantial but don’t want to be outing.

It does all seem very odd. Why do you think they favour DSC as in what drives them to do it? They feel sorry for them, they like them more? They think your DT are spoilt? It's hard to think of a reason for it

@PrincessofHyrule
thryve said, in the past, it’s because his parents are separated (he’s never known any different though)

You can't treat the children differently, it's unkind @MILisProfessorUmbridge

DP also defends it, and participates in this kin of thing himself too. Sadly.

Is he not just trying to make up for not seeing his other child every much?
Obviously money and gifts don't make up for only having your child EOW but I can understand wanting to something to even things up between all his children.

I think it's fine. Everything isn't equal all the time. Giving to all is much nicer than leaving one out.

I feel sorry for your DT too. I suppose the best thing you can do for them is never to show it - they will notice the unfairness I guess at some point. Hard to stop it driving a wedge between them and DSC - which seems a very good reason not to do it. Can DH understand that point?

So this is different and can see why it would get grating.
I think this information gives it more context.

Get dh to send his dps ideas on what all 3 dc want for dsc birthday... Make it 1 idea that covers all 3...

Also it doesn't sound like DSC getting a random gift takes away from your DCs in any way, they still received a gift for their birthday.

I think it's sad that you are so jealous of your dsc, he's a little child and you begrudge him an extra preset when what he probably wants is to see his dad more, just like your DCs do.

If this is a problem the just tell pil they won’t get access to your kids.

I do still think it’s very hard for you to raise with them though. They treat your children well to even if not on par if that makes sense so a difficult spot to be in.

They are treated well it seems though why would you do this ?

sorry I won’t be thanking you for the very generous substantial gifts you bought the children because you bought DSC one to and oh you won’t be seeing them anymore.

Then they need to remember that when it's the stepchild's birthday and get the twins a gift as well.

Out of interest do you set the exact same budget for for all 3 boys including DSS for Christmas ?

@Moonnstars
this is my point, they are all their grandchildren so why treat them differently.

Same with DP, he keeps telling DSC “look what you all got” about DC presents….DC have started to ask why is it they have to share everything but DSC doesn’t.

They literally opened a present and DP said to DSC “look what we got”. No, look what DC got.

very weird thing to be upset about esp as DSC is losing out so much by seeing the dad so little and your DT are not losing out in anything. You just admitted they got a 'substantial' birthday present. Am I missing something? You just sound jealous like a 5 year old. Sorry.

Is the present something they can pay with together but each need the item to participate? Like a water gun, scooter, ect?

DSC is already going to be the odd one out because they're a half sibling and not one of the twins. Maybe the grandparents don't want them further pushed out and excluded.

when you are at a supermarket and say the boys want a magazine or some sort but DSC isn’t there does he get one anyway to have when he arrives ?

do you spend equally the same amount as in your DP or both if you share income as you do your boys ?

now probably not and that’s not hugely uncommon in these situations but if don’t then it’s unfair to say they should always be treated the same.

I don’t understand how time equates to presents?

@Strugglingsoul19
no set budget…we tend to get things they ask for. For example, DSC got a bike this year and DT got scooters (£30 off Amazon) then they all had a few other bits too from DH and I. DSC also had an games console from his mum.

What his mum buys him is irrelevant in these situations.