To think my monthly savings aren’t enough?

[Cokefirst]

I’m 29 and a married mum of 15 month old twins.
I am starting part time work (2 days a week) soon and DH works full time.
Our combined household income once I start work will be around £5300 monthly.

After taking childcare and all household bills out, we give each other a healthy amount of spending money for ourselves and the kids.
I then am able to save £350 monthly for long term savings and DH saves around £700.

His savings however will mainly need to be used to support his parents as they have are in financial trouble.

Is £350 a month okay to save currently with young kids? I could maybe save more but it would mean compromising quality of life in the present.

I mean I work 3 days a week and don't have any spare for saving at the moment so I'd say £350 will be fine!

A) Is there a long term plan to assist your PIL in improving their financial situation?

B) why aren’t you saving family money jointly?

The parents situation sounds risky. Is he protecting a sensible amount of existing savings before committing to help them? It's lovely he wants to take care of them but your two babies should be his top priority.

£350 is fine. Remember how much more you’ll have in a couple of years when your babies start school and you’re not paying an extortionate amount in childcare fees/can work full time again!

If it's what you can afford while also have some sort of life then it's absolutely fine. Anything saved is better than nothing saved!

How much do you have in total?

I’d speak to a financial advisor about investing to try to make your money grow faster.

also not a fan of children bailing out their parents when they have a family of their own.

How much are you current savings for your family (not DHs parents), and your children? Make sure you have a decent pot for you and DCs first.

It depends on what your monthly healthy spending allowance is and whether some of that is being wasted? I do think £350 a month is alright and probably more than most can save.

I’d love to be able to save £10 a month let alone £350!

It’s a perfectly good sum OP.

Why does he need to support his parents. They can claim benefits.

Why does your DH have to support his parents?

Basically a lot of the savings my DH has saved will be needed to help them. It is selfish of them to put all this on to him but I know he cares deeply I can’t stop him.

I saved £25,000 as a Buffer which we still have and we put £100 monthly into a junior isa for the twins which is only theirs.

I keep my savings separate because my savings are solely for financial peace for myself and the kids. DH’s savings are too volatile given his situation.

What are your savings for? Long term or for things like holiday/car? What about mortgage overpayments?

Of course it is ok. It is far more than most people can save

You’re doing great OP!

I honestly think this is a recipe for resentment later down the line and surely they don’t want to see the grandkids go without because of their actions/inactions?

Of your combined £1000, something like £300 DP, £300 OP, £200 kids, £200 for DP parents seems more than generous.

why is he not prioritising his family? can DP agree to at least match what you’re contributing for your kids, or share equally with you? Why do you see your savings vs his savings? What state is your pension in given you’re PT?

why is their financial situation so poor and why is it exclusively DPs problem?

If you haven't already had the conversation with him about his parent's choices quite literally taking quality of life from his own children you need to

Do you, not him, YOU, know the full extent of the debt he is trying to service for them?

How long, how much? Any chance of repayment? Any other possible resolution - and no, their potential embarrassment is not a valid factor?

Is he even thinking or is he just reacting to their pressure?

It is one thing if you both decide to support them, working from a fully informed position. To be told this is how it is going to be is quite another!

This shows a real lack of awareness of other people's situations OP

You are only 29, are paying out for childcare for twins PLUS saving £100 a month for them !!!! and you have a very healthy income coming in every month.

Even before mentioning the fact you have a £25 000 nest egg sitting there.

You are doing very, very well and am surprised you claim not to know that.

Absolutely no way should your husband be spending that money on his parents! That's totally insane. Why isn't he saving it for his children's future?

350 is fine, but id be a bit concerned about his parents. Even if he is the higher earner (presumption due to him working more hours), you're part time to look after his children so I would not be happy if a significant part of that money was going outside the family unit.

Is there question this? A 29 year old with 25000 nest egg, putting away a combined family savings total of 1150 monthly of which 450 is ring fenced and protected from elderly in laws - is this enough?

Have you seriously come on here to ask this?

The standard advice is to have 6 months worth of living expenses saved up.

So whatever that is for you, thats what you should aim for.

I think this is brilliant, OP, and just fine.

As another poster has said - the only thing I would suggest, even though you're young, is to get yourself a financial advisor. I didn't get one until my early 40s and I wish I'd done it sooner.

The link below will help you to find a qualified registered one locally.

https://www.unbiased.co.uk/

Your husband is NOT responsible for his parents' finances.

If they have got themselves in financial difficulty then they need to sort themselves, out, not bring him down too. They need to declare themselves bankrupt if they cannot pay their debts.

Your husband needs to say no and put his wife and kids first.

She is experiencing a heightened sense of loss of control

She could have 10 times that in savings and would feel the same

Having £25,000 in saving and adding £350 a month, as well as savings for your DC, is great! Great at any age, even better at 29.