To think my monthly savings aren’t enough?

[Cokefirst]

I’m 29 and a married mum of 15 month old twins.
I am starting part time work (2 days a week) soon and DH works full time.
Our combined household income once I start work will be around £5300 monthly.

After taking childcare and all household bills out, we give each other a healthy amount of spending money for ourselves and the kids.
I then am able to save £350 monthly for long term savings and DH saves around £700.

His savings however will mainly need to be used to support his parents as they have are in financial trouble.

Is £350 a month okay to save currently with young kids? I could maybe save more but it would mean compromising quality of life in the present.

It’s complicated but short story they sacrificed their life to bring him up (immigrants) and they are getting old and cannot speak the language (they’re in their 60s) and aren’t entitled to much benefits at all.

The house they are living in is a council house but council are pressurising them to buy it, DH says his parents have the deposit but he will need to help fund the mortgage and bills as current benefits and basic pension later won’t cover it.

He is an only child (had an ill sister who passed) and so the burden falls on him and he says it’s no question he has to help.

That puts a bit of a diff spin on it then… If he is effectively gifting the cash to his parents for a property, presumably for that to be inherited back to him (hopefully much) later on(?), then you (both) could consider it part of your (family’s) long term savings/pension.

in the other hand if the social rent is significantly more than a mortgage payment why would they bow to the council pressure? I don’t believe the council cannot force mandate a sale or remove them as tenants…

in which case you may still rejig your monthly finances and split of savings but consider it from the lens of what’s committed and necessary vs where you’ll need flexibility for your kids, home renovations, etc in future.

A second mortgage is a lot to pay and a big commitment if your own is still outstanding. I think you have to be part of the decision making, regardless of what obligation he feels, surely? Can you perhaps encourage a contribution to the deposit instead and set up PIL with some financial income instruments which will help their ongoing mortgage needs using their deposit? Worth being mindful of inheritance liabilities - lots on MSE around that.

I would suggest your DH takes £400 of his monthly savings for a year and spends it on decent therapy to unpick why he's bankrolling his parents poor choices at his own family's expense

A) parents are required to bring up their children - thats what having children means.

B) why on earth would a council pressure a couple in their 60s to buy the property,

I think you’re being led a merry dance.