Blowing rasberries. Should I be concerned?

[Hotandbotherd]

I have name changed due to the sensitivity of this post. I am anxiety ridden writing this!

I know blowing raspberries are a fun part of play with children. But how would you feel about a 'grandparent' (not blood related) allowing your 3 year old daughter do this on his bare stomach, kept lifting his top up for her to do it and giggling saying 'oh its all wet and tickles'

I was SA as a child and I don't know if this is me being triggered from my past or if this is alarming.

There has been other things with the same person similar things being 'playful' that i feel overstep the mark, like bum smacking. It makes me feel very uncomfortable and I tend to step in and say things to distract my daughter away like in this instance I said 'your not blowing raspberries on granddads tummy are you!!!' And he stopped. This is in a room with other people that are clearly not faized by this.

I don't want to say too much more, but me and my partner are both on the fence with this but we are uncomfortable. We know if we say anything there will be a huge fallout with probably no coming back from it.

Why is everyone talking about the child being made to do it? OP doesn't say that.
If your child is choosing to do it I don't see an issue, it's something that many families do as part of play when small

This makes me think of my stepdad....hence why I never see him now my mums dead

I haven’t read all the comments. But it’s definitely not acceptable if it makes you feel uncomfortable and you should ask the GP to stop. No need to lie or make up stories. It’s inappropriate, you don’t feel comfortable and you’re trying to teach your child about boundaries. End of.

It makes you uncomfortable so it’s not ok.

My dgs tried to blow raspberries on my tummy, I distract him and discourage it. He’s happy to be play something else instead.

It’s definitely unusual. Doing it to a small child is something that happens often. A small child doing it on the cheek/arm or trying to do it on the covered belly of an adult/lifting a tshirt up to do it as they’re copying, again, fairly normal.

Actually exposing your belly (in a room full of people?!?) and encouraging said child to blow raspberries on it? Definitely not normal or something that just happens.

I wasn't expecting such a huge response so have taken some time to read through and there are some more points I should probably make.

My 3 yr old dd thinks of him as her proper grandad, she spends time with her nanny (My MIL) who is also very playful and quite over the top in general personality wise. So part of me thinks well maybe he's trying to be a big fun grandparent and look good! But still i do not understand why any man especially one that has only been around about 3 years, would want to do this? My own mums partner wouldn't dream of doing this in a million years!! And I don't think many would.

I have an older daughter that is now 12. She was very playful too at one point and I felt he overstepped a boundary by getting her to back massage him in his own words (again in a room of people) which felt alarming for us! He also was laying down on the floor for her to do this. We got my daughters attention away and ended up having some serious discussion with her about boundaries with her body. She has been very wise ever since and I fully trust her to come to me or speak up if she feels uncomfortable in a situation.

Very difficult as you don't want to say anything and insinuate the worst of him. He's very good with them otherwise in other ways and my 3 year old adores him. I do think mentioning nursery have said something to me as a very good way to approach this. Although I am still expecting an over reaction especially from MIL on how 'ridiculous' it is, and possible disregard.

I would not allow my children to be left alone with him nor would I with anyone I don't fully know or trust. Honestly I've felt sick with worry and anxiety about this as it's very triggering for me.

Let there be a fall out!

It’s highly inappropriate and utterly disgusting.

Also, this man isn’t her grandad if he is of no biological relationship with her.

Keep your baby away from this man!!

If she starts an argument then that’s up to her, your responsibility to keep your children safe comes first. You aren’t accusing him of anything, you are putting boundaries in place for your child with every adult, if someone has a problem with that then they are the issue