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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Should I block him?

67 replies

Burritowrap · 28/06/2025 06:17

I met a guy at a conference. We hit it off as friends straight away and have been talking for around a month via text. I told him a few weeks later that I fancied him and I had been thinking about him a lot. He seemed shocked by this but seemed to love the attention.
We have had a few phone calls and video chats. We have been talking daily. He told me one weekend about how he wants to have a family in the near future, would like to get married and basically pulled me in with this dream. I really want a family and a husband and I was literally all over it. (Oh dear!) He was going on about how he would love to do this with me and how he is overwhelmed by me coming into his life. He has mentioned it makes things complicated as we live a short plane ride away.
This week, he hasn't been replying as much. He has been very cold with his responses often taking 24 hours to reply. I'm a very direct woman and I know what I want. I have a good career, take care of myself and I am very old soul like. I asked him what the deal was and he said he was busy with work, sorry!
He said he isn't used to this intensity and he is enjoying my attention.
Yesterday, he kept messaging asking for photos and stuff. I messaged him a bit directly saying I want a relationship, not to be played around. I lost my cool and probably seemed insecure or needy. I just feel so let down and like I have to pursue and chase. He said all of this future stuff and then left me cold for a week.
What should I do? I have asked him to book a flight to see me which he hasn't done. Am I being messed around?

OP posts:
Pingiop · 28/06/2025 06:20

So after meeting once you were texting for a few weeks then he’s telling you he wants a family with you?

Agix · 28/06/2025 06:20

I think you have overreacted. It's only been a month, he may have truly been busy or at least cannot always sustain that sort of intensity over text message (which he basically said) which is entirely normal.

You've jumped to "am I being messed around?" very early on and very quickly and easily, from the description here.

Obviously I can't say you weren't being messed around, I just can't really see much of a clue for it in your description of events.

HallidayJones6779 · 28/06/2025 06:20

I say this with kindness OP - if you are already questioning it, put it to bed and find someone who gives you the same as you give to them. Don't waste your time.

Bepatientandiwillreturn · 28/06/2025 06:22

Op as a I'm a very direct woman and I know what I want. I have a good career, take care of myself and I am very old soul like (which on the basis of this thread I would question )

Surely you know how f**king weird this all is

Burritowrap · 28/06/2025 06:23

It's so weird

OP posts:
Bepatientandiwillreturn · 28/06/2025 06:24

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Onelifeonly · 28/06/2025 06:27

I'm not surprised he is overwhelmed. You sound full on crazy. You barely know this guy. Pushing to meet again might be fine but to be planning out a whole future already?

Robinredd · 28/06/2025 06:31

Asking for photos? What kind of photos? I'd be wary as hell about that.

On the basis what you've written I think he's probably just filling his time with you. If he was really into you and this was all going somewhere you wouldn't have to question it and deep down you probably know that.

When the time comes you'll know when it's the right person for you. You won't question it.

Fuck this one off.

OrsolaRosso · 28/06/2025 06:39

Is this the weed smoker you are trying to have a baby with, or a new guy you just met?

Bepatientandiwillreturn · 28/06/2025 06:41

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Greenfields20 · 28/06/2025 06:45

Surely this story isnt real?

MyDeftDuck · 28/06/2025 06:47

He has been playing you OP. Shut this down now while he is ‘busy at work’. He obviously told you all that crap about wanting a family with you and sharing his dreams to draw you in.
Block him, move on and focus on yourself. Do NOT send photos of any description either.
Put this down to experience.

CKN · 28/06/2025 06:54

What happened to your DP that you were actively trying to conceive two months ago?

Sounds very strange so why don’t you have a break from all the drama the men in your life are causing you 🙄

NoHope4BobHope · 28/06/2025 07:02

You are very intense OP. By the sounds of your posting history you are fresh out of a relationship where less than 3 months ago you were actively trying for a baby. You've now met this new guy who (by your own PP) showed no interest in dating you at all and went cold on you pretty quickly. I imagine this chat about family and marriage is either because you led into it being directed at you or he's just stringing you along to keep you sweet for when it's convenient.

You are either vulnerable or slightly unhinged because its not normal to get this intense and needy with a guy you've met once and haven't even been on a date with yet. He's showing you the bare minimum breadcrumbs and your taking this as you will be married by Christmas.

Kindly, Have some time on your own OP and go to therapy.

Brightstar5 · 28/06/2025 07:17

NoHope4BobHope · 28/06/2025 07:02

You are very intense OP. By the sounds of your posting history you are fresh out of a relationship where less than 3 months ago you were actively trying for a baby. You've now met this new guy who (by your own PP) showed no interest in dating you at all and went cold on you pretty quickly. I imagine this chat about family and marriage is either because you led into it being directed at you or he's just stringing you along to keep you sweet for when it's convenient.

You are either vulnerable or slightly unhinged because its not normal to get this intense and needy with a guy you've met once and haven't even been on a date with yet. He's showing you the bare minimum breadcrumbs and your taking this as you will be married by Christmas.

Kindly, Have some time on your own OP and go to therapy.

Also actively trying for a baby with a guy who said he didn’t want children for 5 years, or could that have been a previous guy who didn’t want her to meet his friends until she had a promotion? The timeline of OP’s previous posts is confusing.

OP I wouldn’t block necessarily but you are coming across as very intense. I’d cool right down and take a step back

Pingiop · 28/06/2025 07:19

OrsolaRosso · 28/06/2025 06:39

Is this the weed smoker you are trying to have a baby with, or a new guy you just met?

Ooo do tell

Bepatientandiwillreturn · 28/06/2025 08:38

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Dangermoo · 28/06/2025 08:59

He just wants sex and is flattered. Is he asking you for a certain kind of photo?

LemonLass · 28/06/2025 09:14

Hi @Burritowrap
It seems they are enjoying the attention and may get a kick out of it. They are future faking to keep your interest (because they are enjoying your attention). They found an "in" with you wanting a family (and telling you they share same future goal).

In my opinion, they have suckered you in and enjoying the control. They dont want a relstionship. They want things to carry on as they are.

If you continue, it will be crazy-making because you believe their nonsense (but it is nonsense). They would be in touch if they were genuine and book that flight if they wanted desparately ro see you again? They dont.

Sorry to state things so plainly but as you are a straight talker, I thought you may appreciate the same, together with some objectivity.

Cut them off and I hope.you find someone who doesnt play you like this again x

AnnunciataM · 28/06/2025 09:24

So last summer you were dating someone who didnt want you to meet his friends until you'd got a promotion. Then earlier this year you thought your boss fancied you. By April you wanted to have a baby with a weed smoker who you'd been with 18 months, and now you've met someone else?

I think you could do with some time being single!

Greenfields20 · 28/06/2025 09:30

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Bollihobs · 28/06/2025 10:18

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🤣🤣🤣 Indeed!

Or, if you want to carry on @Burritowrap you need a new user name, too much history showing up on this one now. 🤔😁

LemonLass · 28/06/2025 11:22

He seemed shocked by this but seemed to enjoy the attention

Based on your past posts catching up with you, you guys may have more in common thank you think @Burritowrap 😆

McTootsBagpipes · 28/06/2025 11:27

Nurse! She’s out of bed again!

tygertygers · 28/06/2025 22:52

Oh dear oh dear, OP.