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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Should I block him?

67 replies

Burritowrap · 28/06/2025 06:17

I met a guy at a conference. We hit it off as friends straight away and have been talking for around a month via text. I told him a few weeks later that I fancied him and I had been thinking about him a lot. He seemed shocked by this but seemed to love the attention.
We have had a few phone calls and video chats. We have been talking daily. He told me one weekend about how he wants to have a family in the near future, would like to get married and basically pulled me in with this dream. I really want a family and a husband and I was literally all over it. (Oh dear!) He was going on about how he would love to do this with me and how he is overwhelmed by me coming into his life. He has mentioned it makes things complicated as we live a short plane ride away.
This week, he hasn't been replying as much. He has been very cold with his responses often taking 24 hours to reply. I'm a very direct woman and I know what I want. I have a good career, take care of myself and I am very old soul like. I asked him what the deal was and he said he was busy with work, sorry!
He said he isn't used to this intensity and he is enjoying my attention.
Yesterday, he kept messaging asking for photos and stuff. I messaged him a bit directly saying I want a relationship, not to be played around. I lost my cool and probably seemed insecure or needy. I just feel so let down and like I have to pursue and chase. He said all of this future stuff and then left me cold for a week.
What should I do? I have asked him to book a flight to see me which he hasn't done. Am I being messed around?

OP posts:
SecondVerseSameAsThe1st · 29/06/2025 06:26

This reply has been deleted

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😂🤣😂🤣

SecondVerseSameAsThe1st · 29/06/2025 06:28

Burritowrap · 28/06/2025 06:23

It's so weird

Yeah, something is very weird here, OP. 😂

Gonk123 · 29/06/2025 06:32

He was reeling you in talking about what future he wants. And then asking for photos. Block him! He isn’t interested, sold you a bit of a dream. He will mess you around. Save yourself the upset. He would be chasing you if he likes you - he doesn’t, he is just filling time.

Caligirl80 · 29/06/2025 06:57

This is a lot of drama for someone you've only just met. And you live a plane-ride away.

Not worth the agro. You're a smart woman - surely you can understand when something is more trouble than it's worth? No need to be nasty about it with him - just thanks but no thanks.

Pingiop · 29/06/2025 06:58

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Bonbonthechewyone · 29/06/2025 13:14

Sorry, this is all completely batshit. Why are you talking to a guy you've met once about marriage and kids? You don't even know him.

Ivy888 · 29/06/2025 13:19

You sound very intense. I am going to assume you havn’t had any physical contact (no kissing, no sex). You live a plane ride away (so a few hundred km away??) and yet you’re talking about wanting to start a family together. Sorry op, you need to calm waaaaay down and take a thousand steps back. You’re into the IDEA of being with him, you have no idea what it actually is like to be with him. How are you in general op? Are you in a happy place? Or are you trying to fill an unhappiness with desperately finding a relationship? Because that’s what I’m sensing here.

outerspacepotato · 29/06/2025 13:26

Approach like a taco, not a burrito.

TinyFlamingo · 29/06/2025 13:27

Cool it off and if he's interested he'll pursue you.

Behaviour is a language unless behaviour matches what he says it's disingenuous.

Don't go all in on the fantasy/what if.

Keep yourself emotionally safe and don't give more than you are getting. Eyes open. You got this

SunnyViper · 29/06/2025 13:29

😂.

DiscoBob · 29/06/2025 13:37

He sounds like he says whatever he thinks women want to hear, then starts bombarding them with requests for increasingly more risque photos? Sleazy fucker.
Just tell him to do one or better yet definitely just block.

Whocanresist · 29/06/2025 13:42

Are these all different men op?

Whocanresist · 29/06/2025 13:42

It sounds like you are wasting your time with this one.

RealEagle · 29/06/2025 13:43

Think someone is very bored

PrayMore · 29/06/2025 13:50

You're either batshit crazy or a weird liar.

Muffinmam · 29/06/2025 13:50

Bepatientandiwillreturn · 28/06/2025 06:22

Op as a I'm a very direct woman and I know what I want. I have a good career, take care of myself and I am very old soul like (which on the basis of this thread I would question )

Surely you know how f**king weird this all is

This person is very very immature.

Also no one is entitled to a relationship on the basis they look after themselves and have a good career 🙄

Mumto42005 · 29/06/2025 13:53

Yet you posted on the 02/06 to say this man didn’t want to talk on a call?! And just back in January, you were suggesting your boss fancies you! Please OP, it sounds like you are an attention seeker!

TwistedWonder · 29/06/2025 13:57

So is this the bloke who wouldn’t let you meet his friends until you get promoted, the one you’re trying for a baby with, your boss who fancies you or yet another man you’re overly invested in who almost certainly my doesn’t actually exist

Agree with pp - if this is all true, you’re way too intense with any man who glances in your direction. Or else it’s all BS and you hers a new hobby rather than creative writing nonsense on MN

LittlleMy · 29/06/2025 14:00

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Well, to use a signature MN line “I don’t think OPs coming back”. 😬

Whocanresist · 29/06/2025 14:03

I remember the thread about the promotion. What was the outcome of that?

Mentalsandwich · 29/06/2025 14:06

I would leave it now, if he's genuine he'll contact you and make an effort. X

Stripeyanddotty · 29/06/2025 14:07

Unbelievable.

FlyingFox · 29/06/2025 14:13

To be honest you sound like a psycho 😂

Leaningtowerofpisa · 29/06/2025 14:13

I think you need to spend a few years working on yourself and leave relationships to the side. Your posts and behaviour sound concerning . You might be career smart but you do not sound EQ smart. You sound like you don’t understand the basics of a healthy relationship. Like others have suggested and you yourself have said you are intense and needy and unrealistic in your demands of someone you have barely known a few weeks. No one knows they want a family with someone after just a few weeks of texts and calls. If you were as smart as you say you are you would already know this. I think you have serious issues and need to find some professional therapy and do some inner work around who you actually are and what you want out of life. I rather think your unhealthy pattern / man hopping / clingy behaviour is rooted somewhere else and until you deal with why you behave like this you won’t find your peace. Good luck with journey. Stay single for now.

Rabbitsockpeony · 29/06/2025 14:16

Burritowrap · 28/06/2025 06:23

It's so weird

I don’t think the situation is what’s weird here, because woof, you sound so intense.

Also weird posting history. Are you still with, and trying to have a baby with (!), the ancient, free-loading weed smoker?!