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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to make a complaint to school

56 replies

Hangingwithmygnomies · 27/06/2025 20:10

My 8 year old DS came home from school today clearly unwell. He was complaining of a a really bad headache, backache and feeling sick and "shaky" and he went straight to bed and fell asleep after some calpol. My MIL picked him up today as it's my full work day, and the teacher (not his normal one) who brought out his class advised that he has started to feel poorly after morning break, went and laid down at one point and was feeling so rough that he was unable to do any work. No one fron the school called me to tell me he was unwell and I'm really angry that he was left most of the day clearly in pain without any pain relief! To be so unwell that he couldn't complete any work and no one thought to call me to collect him, is surely unreasonable on the schools part?

OP posts:
Didimum · 27/06/2025 23:11

I don’t think you should complain. Unless there are other connected problems with the school, it’s likely much more nuanced than them simply ignoring him.

coffeegirl73 · 27/06/2025 23:35

I know teachers are stretched but this does seem remiss. Maybe it was because it wasn’t his usual teacher? I have the opposite experience- school once called me because dd said her jumper was too itchy… another time they told me to come get dd as he said he had touched a child’s plaster (bandaid) and he is allergic to plasters???!!! They always call my friend when her dd refuses to eat her lunch telling her she must come straight away. She says well I can’t make her eat can I??? But OP I wokld
be upset if I were you.

Lou670 · 27/06/2025 23:39

cherish123 · 27/06/2025 20:44

I wouldn't. They obviously didn't think he was ill enough to warrant a call.

Missingbthe point but - I assume you mean lying down (not laying down😆)!

Missing the point but should there be a space where the 'b' is? 😏

CarpeVitam · 27/06/2025 23:44

isitmeamithedrama · 27/06/2025 21:11

Of course you should have been called if he’s so unwell he was lying down and not doing work, there’s no chance the teacher was able to keep an eye on him and teach the others!
Teachers can do no wrong on MN but on this occasion they got it very wrong to keep an unwell child in for the rest of the school day when he’s not getting better despite having some time out.

I wouldn’t go in all guns blazing but I’d be raising it with the school.

🙄 x 100

Caligirl80 · 28/06/2025 00:14

Seems to me that if a child is feeling so poorly that they need to lay down and cannot do any work at all that it warrants a call home to the parents to ask about potentially going home/pain relief etc etc. Of course we don't know what instructions you've given the school in the past about such things.

I would double check with your child (and with whoever was with him during break if you can) whether he hit his head during break, or whether he ate/consumed anything weird during break. Break being the perfect time, of course, for kiddos to have an accident and bump their heads/fall etc. I mention this because the one time I can remember at school feeling so sick and grotty that I needed to lay down and couldn't focus on work at all was after I hit my head during break time and had concussion. I didn't want to tell anyone what happened in case I got into trouble (we were playing on the play equipment we weren't supposed to be anywhere near at that time, so I was scared I'd be in trouble).

Another potential worry (though your child is 8 so maybe not - but stranger things have happened) is the potential that they were prompted to try a vape or some other grotty thing during break time - a young child trying something like that (they might not even know that's what it is, sadly) could easily display the kind of sudden horrible sick/need to lay down symptoms you've described. Particularly if they were feeling absolutely fine when they went to school.

I would also pay attention to anything that involves a headache that is so bad the child needs to lay down/cannot focus on work: it may be worth a trip to the GP and asking about things like migraine or perhaps things like having his eyes tested etc to make sure there's nothing else going on that would make him poorly like that all of a sudden. Better safe than sorry even though the chances are very very small that it's anything worth a big worry.

It may be worth a very kind and non-accusatory chat with your child just to see if you can figure out any other information about what might have prompted them to feel poorly.

Whatever the cause, I do think the school should have informed you that your little lad was poorly to the extent he wanted to - and had to - lay down, and couldn't focus on his school work. I certainly would want to know. I'd convey that via a written email etc - not necessarily a complaint, but a note for the future that you expect to be told if your child is poorly like that again.

cherish123 · 28/06/2025 12:05

Lou670 · 27/06/2025 23:39

Missing the point but should there be a space where the 'b' is? 😏

I'll blame the glasses 😆

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