AIBU to make a complaint to school

[Hangingwithmygnomies]

My 8 year old DS came home from school today clearly unwell. He was complaining of a a really bad headache, backache and feeling sick and "shaky" and he went straight to bed and fell asleep after some calpol. My MIL picked him up today as it's my full work day, and the teacher (not his normal one) who brought out his class advised that he has started to feel poorly after morning break, went and laid down at one point and was feeling so rough that he was unable to do any work. No one fron the school called me to tell me he was unwell and I'm really angry that he was left most of the day clearly in pain without any pain relief! To be so unwell that he couldn't complete any work and no one thought to call me to collect him, is surely unreasonable on the schools part?

Yet you've created a poll to ask, then complain about 'judgement'? Honestly, in nicest possible way, if you really have time/inclination to complain to the school, go ahead, regardless of the views of others...

I didn't create a poll, I simply asked if I would BU to make a complaint to the school about not being called when my child was clearly unwell and in pain. You then came along with an uncalled for shitty comment about people having "real" problems when you know sweet f.a about what I have to deal with on a daily basis, belittling my concern for my child - so yes - stick your judement. Gos forbide my child could actually have been seriously ill as he can deteriorate quickly. As a PP politely and helpfully advised to take the conflict out of it and talk to the school rather than emailing an official complaint, that is what I will do

That’s nonsense.

Rude!!

I would have called, if a child can’t complete work there is no point being at school. Sometimes you need to know the child as some children will try it on with a different teacher.

I had same problem at my sons school. Said he had been asleep most of the afternoon as he felt unwell & had a headache. I said why has nobody contacted me. They said they can’t because he hasn’t been physically sick. I was so annoyed, you only had to take one look at him to see he was unwell.

You could say the same about yourself OP - you sent him to school in the morning. Teachers aren’t medics and kids can rapidly get worse or better.

Yanbu @Hangingwithmygnomies

And I would be making a complaint, where I work if a child is presenting with illness or pain and getting worse or unable to work. We'd call home and give the parents the choice seeing how they go and call back if they get worse, to bring in paracetamol/ibuprofen and see if they perk up or take them home.

How so? OP has posted on a public forum, asking for views, FGS! DS is clearly safe, she herself made reference to Calpol doing the job. If he wasn't, she surely wouldn't have had the focus to create/engage with the responses...
There's a reason 55k teachers are leaving the sector, annually

Not everything needs to be complained about. 🙄

Why could you? He was fine when he went to school and showed no signs of being ill, it started while he was at school. An 8 year old being so unwell and in pain that they had to lie down and couldn't do work, wouldn't concern you?

Good job I'm not complaining about everything then isn't it 🙄

It wasn't his normal teacher so they wouldn't know you work from home.
Plenty of kids act up for different teachers, she may have thought he was putting it on a bit to avoid doing work. No 8yo goes downhill so much in the 4 hours from morning break to the end of the day that it's life threatening unless they have a serious preexisting condition. If you're really bothered, speak to the teacher Monday. By then he'll probably be fine and all will be forgotten.

Think the rude point was in relation to you telling me there are people struggling with real problems. Telling me I'm BU - fine, the other bit was uncalled for.
I'm able to create/engage with the post as my husband was home to takeover and my son was asleep. I have the utmost respect for teachers and it's a real shame that 55k teachers are leaving the profession annually, I do think though, that on this occassion it was not handled well at all. I know it's hard to guage from a post on MN as you can't see him but I was genuinely concerned when he got home that he had been left in that state for most of the day, he wasn't just a little "off" and it's not ok.

Fair enough. As I said, hope he's okay in the morning...

In all fairness and not to be dramatic but if a child who was fine at the start of the day, suddenly developes an intense headache, backache and becomes lethargic to the point of being unable to complete work, it really shouldn't be glossed over and a phone call to parents should really be make. We have family experience of how rapidly meningitis and sepsis can occur, it's no joke but fortunately it isn't that.
The class teacher normally tells the office staff, who know me quite well due lots of meetings regarding my eldest son who is autistic, which is why I say I normally have a good relationship with them. You're right in he'll probably be right as rain on Monday, which is why I'll speak to them at drop off and ask to be called if it happens again, rather than an official complaint.

Just my experience with 3 dc.

Thank you, I appreciate it. I'm sure he will be, we'll just have a chill day tomorrow and if any more concerns I'll speak to the pharmacist but I'm sure the magic pink stuff will continue to work

Im a teacher. I would've rung you.

I've seen plenty of kids "lethargic so they can't work" spring up and run out on to the playground.

Sepsis or meningitis would usually be accompanied by a temperature which you'd have noticed in the morning.

A phone call wouldn't have gone amiss but it sounds like you're getting perspective here and will speak to the teacher on Monday.

I'm not sure he managed lunchtime in all honesty, his lunchbox was barely touched but I don't know for sure. He fell asleep as soon as he came home, woke up a little while ago had some more calpol and a drink and then back to sleep again, so definitely something going on but I'm sure the sleep will help him feel much better tomorrow. Maybe best prepare myself for an early start ha!
Definitely getting some perspective, it wasn't ideal that they didn't phone me to collect but on reflection, not worth jeopardising the otherwise good relationship I have with the school.

Glad you’ve taken into account suggestions and 100% think the non confrontational chat is appropriate, I wouldn’t complain unless I was really unhappy/uncomfortable about how the follow up chat went.

I actually think that you do need to raise it. Not necessarily a complaint, but explain that he was really unwell and that you feel that it would have been better had they called you earlier.

How's he doing now? Headache and backache/neck ache can be signs of meningitis or Sepsis (along with other symptoms), so should be taken seriously. Ultimately parents know their kids best so should be consulted where possible.

Not necessarily. In the early stages you can have a fever with Sepsis, but the temperature then drops.

Ok. I am the mother of 3 dc and have also worked in several schools. I have been called in by my dc’s schools for very similar reasons. In the case the Op described, I would have definitely called the parents. Sorry your experience of school has been different.