To think co-parenting is often just damage control for a bad decision?

[ThisSharpJadeDreamer]

“We’re putting the child first” usually means “we’re trying to minimise the fallout.”

Most people end a relationship and never see that person again- great!
Coparenting is having to see your ex and put the animosity to the side so your child comes first. Ridiculously hard.
Then there's two parents who parallel parent... that's the real problem. Unfortunately my situation.
Coparenting is ridiculously hard. I think it should be applauded!

You are of course quite right. But either way, OP is completely wrong because her entire post is predicated on the split being a bad decision. Which, on many occasions, it really isn't.

I was trying to think of a way of saying this exact thing!

It's not necessary to acknowledge the ideal outcome or set of circumstances everytime someone triumphs over adversity.

Usually, it's implicit. It's only you, OP, who feels the need for it to be spelt out. The reason you don't see it being acknowledged is because everyone else already gets it.

Thank you for articulating the ridiculousness of the OP's assertions so clearly.

Me and my ex are coparenting well. It's not damage control of a bad situation (we went through that) it's putting our kids (and their needs) first and foremost.

100pc agree with this

This. OP thinks no one should ever be praised for their co parenting without first highlighting that they’re big fat failures who failed at their relationship and are consequently failing their children.

Realising this view is not going down well here, OP is now - in her own words - trying to make the best of a bad situation.

This makes the point perfectly

Do you think that parents should never get divorced/split up, then, @Praying4Peace? Should people put up with abuse, neglect, infidelity, domestic violence? I don’t think seeing that would be good for children.

People do fall out of love, even when there is no abuse/DV etc - and I don’t think they should be forced to stay in an unhappy relationship - not only would that be tough for them, but I can’t see how it benefits children to be in an unhappy family.

I don’t think anyone is ‘romanticising’ relationship breakdown. They are being realists and saying that, until someone invents a crystal ball, so we can know, ahead of time, if a marriage/relationship will last, some relationships/marriages will break up - and when that happens, it is best if the two people involved can co-parent well.

This is such an unintelligent and mealy mouthed post.

I really hope I never have to meet you in real life.

"we can hold space for the fact that it’s a response to a hard situation, not an aspirational one. That nuance often gets lost in how it’s discussed"

Total bullshit. Sanctimonious twat.

And the final comment nails it.

Use all the big words you like op, the fact is your post is bullshit, only you know what your actual point is and the rest of us think you are talking shite.

Is that aimed at the OP, @Howldens? I’m worrying in case it’s addressed to me, since it follows my post.

Healthy co-parenting is a good thing and is not a given in the context of a marriage breakup.

People probably think I have a civilised co-parenting relationship with my ex, because we can be civil and even appear friendly at social gatherings, have Christmas & kids’ birthdays together.

In reality I do all the parenting & he does the bare minimum (and what he does do is outsourced to his girlfriend). He’s an absolute cunt but I married him and he’s the father of my children so I choose to put them first as much as I can.

Parenting with a fuckwit while minimising the fallout on the children involved is a heroic feat and should be acknowledged as such.

Not every relationship that breaks up has huge fall-out though. Especially these days where you don't have to have a divorce with blame and accusations. More couples are willing to admit that they've just drifted apart, but want to remain just as close with their children, parenting equally and with no friction as before.