To get frustrated with my DS being so bloody boisterous?

[funandsafe]

I love him obviously but I do find his boisterous nature and exuberance exhausting and often frustrating.

Ask him to get something and he hurtles towards it at 100 miles an hour. He charges around crashing into things and knocking them over. He cannot sit still. This afternoon he was lying on my lap watching some TV and he just kept jerking about constantly. He finished a yoghurt earlier and for some unknown reason hurled the empty pot across the room.

It is so tiring. And no I don’t think he’s got adhd before anyone starts … but does anyone else have a 100 miles an hour kid?

I have one of those! Is he 3 or 4 by any chance?
I hear you OP, it can be very tiring and parents of more mellow children don't really get how draining it is at times. Solidarity.

Yes, he’s four! He’s lovely, don’t get me wrong, but my god he exhausts me and I wish he’d sit still for two minutes! I do have another child who thankfully is a bit more laid back as great as he is I’m not sure I could cope with two from the same mould!

Wait till he is 16 and comes gallumping into your room in the early hours of the morning to discuss attacks on Iran or the Ukraine

It is really tiring! There are two things that could help - way more exercise outside the house, and more sensory/creative/mindful activities in the house.

Also set things up physically so you are close but more room for you - for example make him a nest on the floor to watch TV and then it won't disturb you when he's wriggling.

Depending on age it's quite common to be unable to sit still.

I have a 3 year old exactly like this. I’ve tried to wear him out with exercise (he hasn’t been in a pushchair since he turned 2), but now I’ve created a super-toddler who will happily walk 10km in a day and still want to play chase in the garden before bed. He can do an activity but as soon as it’s over he wants to do something else, he’ll never just chill and watch TV or do something quietly (I’m always jealous when friends mention that they’ve had a movie afternoon with their child).

He also talks constantly, and has so many questions. I hate driving with him in the car because it’s impossible to concentrate whilst he’s firing questions at me.
It’s just constant wiggling and chatting from the moment he wakes up until the moment he goes to bed. It’s utterly exhausting.

Obvs, you know your DS best of all. This won't be a popular view but I think the parent makes the child. If your expectations are calm, sensible behaviour, most children will aim to please. My friends with boys have high expectations so they have sensible boys who can sit quietly in lots of situations, including school, and put their dishes in the d/w. They would never dream of throwing anything across a room (except maybe socks into the laundry basket ...)

Your DS sounds pretty young which means you can turn the tide. This will take some planning on your part - welcome to teaching! Think through what you want to change and boil it down into some short bullet points:

• do not throw anything inside the house, much less dishes/cutlery/yoghurt pots
• walk calmly in the house so you don't crash and hurt yourself or someone else or break things

and then, at a time when he can listen - after a snack or a meal - sit down and talk about calmer behaviour. But most importantly, make is clear through obvious and subtle ways that you are pleased or not. Most younger children are keen to please and will catch on quickly.

@MumbleJumble123 we do sound like we have very similar children! I have the constant questions as well, he just never stops talking. Ever!

@tarheelbaby i do try to have some non negotiables but equally the parent did not maketh this child … of course I did in a way but a lot of the time by the time he’s done something it’s been done, iyswim. And then he is contrite until a minute later.

He gets a lot of exercise and a lot of opportunities to climb, run, jump, swim. But it’s always been the case with him that it doesn’t really tire him out but rejuvenate him.

Take him to a local athletics track and make him run round and round it. Worked for my nephew. He’s really good at distance running now as a teen.

I have an 8yo one of these too!

Best bit of advice I was given - treat boys like puppies - walk them lots and feed them!

Totally my ethos with exuberant boys. Lots and lots of exercise, plus food.

My bonkers preschooler has turned into a well mannered calm and sensible 12 year old. But I still see flashes of madness like when he came flying through the landing naked bar a towel cape using said cape to thrash away the baddies tonight. I do wonder if it will ever disappear completely!

I have three boys, the middle one is like this. He is nearly 13 and still full of beans! I make sure he is as active as possible to channel his energy.
It isn’t your parenting, some kids are more high energy and boisterous than others, he used to exhaust me when he was younger.

Solidarity OP and @MumbleJumble123I’m sure the efforts to physically tire them out only build their stamina and in fact tire me/us out the most 🤣

Also the well meaning comments of onlooking grandparents etc “oh you’ll sleep well tonight!” - ha bloody ha, if only!

How much physical exercise does he do each day? And can you double that? Trampoline, 10 laps of a local field, 20 star jumps, Joe wicks videos. Anything that gets him physically tired will help.

I was going to suggest you set him the task of mowing the lawn, but maybe 4 is a bit young.

By ds was similar at that age op. I took him to the park every morning for a run around...I think it's normal. They're a bit like dogs and need heaps of walks and running round to burn off energy!

Yes I have one of these! She's 3, nearly 4

Ladies I would like to sympathise with you, and tell you it gets better (it does not 😜😁). Mine is 28 and an utter whirlwind. Luckily he is married to the most gorgeous (chilled), DIL, she copes with his stamina by encouraging him to spend time with his friends 😳🤣. They lived with us in an annexe off of our house, until last year, and his wife would send him over to chat (our ears off), with us and his younger sister after work, and she openly admitted it was to try and run off some of his steam for the evening 😂.

My 5 year old is exactly like this, it's exhausting. He doesn't even keep still when he's asleep, he turns and thrashes and kicks and twitches.

No advice, just solidarity.

Sounds just like my 7 yr old.

Who has ADHD.

I have one of these too 🤣 he’s 4 like a bull in a China shop…. I also have an 8 year old exactly the same it is exhausting I think they sap the energy directly from my soul 🤷🏼‍♀️
They also both never shut up talking all the time including in their sleep!!

My DS was energetic too. Think puppy! Lots of exercise and try to keep house as clear as possible. After school activities where possible etc. Mine grew out of it by 9ish. It was fun mind you!

Eldest DS was like this (teenager now) whereas DD was the opposite- didn’t walk till she was and would be happily plonked in front of the TV! 😂 She’s better now she’s a bit older but still likes having a rest and will sit for hours playing or glued to a screen (which we try to limit obviously). They’re all different!

Should say she didn’t walk till she was nearly two and couldn’t do baby led weaning because she couldn’t sit up straight! 😂 Completely the other extreme and needs a rocket up her sometimes!

My daughter was like this. She is seven now and good at football.

My four year old is just the same. And he's the height of a seven year old so it's not a small amount of chaos. My only strategy is to get him outside as long as possible and as often as possible. A really lengthy walk does wonders!