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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think getting a job is impossible for some?

114 replies

stuckinthemuddiestwaters · 25/06/2025 06:51

Two years of looking. Many applications. Two recent interviews. Second choice for both, so did not get a job offer. Had good feedback, but you don’t know what they are really thinking about you.

I have plenty of experience and also promotions at previous workplaces.

AIBU to think I am unemployable?

OP posts:
Notafanofheat · 25/06/2025 18:36

In your case I’d look for women returners schemes local to you - there are both employability programs with coaching and support hiring schemes. There are ways back for women taking time out for raising family/caring/health conditions.

Daddydog · 25/06/2025 18:38

Used to be a recruiter and an employer branding consultant and it was such an eye opener. First thing is your CV. You have to get past the AI gatekeeper but there are some really good AI tools out there that will help you assess your CV and give you a score on what the AI will pick up. Then suggest ways section by section to get to 100% or as close. The other thing is, interview role playing! I am hit and miss in interviews so a friend and I will practice over and over and over again until I have perfected my answers but also have a bank of delay tactics to give myself a chance to get back on track or ready made questions for when my mind goes blank!

Flipping the interview back on the interviewer to get them to open about about what they love about the company, culture, their own career path, how you can add value to their team etc - anything that makes them talk about themselves and become human. Pick up little cues on what they are into and find common ground. They won’t realise that they have been yabbering on but think you’re a great person to talk to and want you on their team!

People always talk about candidate expectations being misaligned but some of my clients - wow. You would think they were offering a job to replace the King Charles based on their unrealistic expectations on what candidate they would find for salary offered. Best companies were the ones that knew their businesses or brands were not on the top of candidates list and they had to work harder to attract (and retain) candidates and far more respectful of the effort candidates put in as word gets around. Example is British American Tobacco. My favourite company to recruit for! Worst employer I’ve ever come across - L’Oriel.

Lastly - by the time you see a job post it’s probably half filled. So spend one day a week researching news etc of businesses which are growing or expanding etc. Find a name in the article, use free tools like RocketReach to find the work email of that contact and just drop them an email saying how interesting that all sounds and how you’d love to know how you can be part of that growth and what skills you can bring. Use RocketReach free credits to get the direct contact details of that name you find or use it to map out line managers and recruiters.

Never use the word ‘I’ on speculative email especially at the beginning. I get unsolicited job hunting emails of ‘me me me, I, I, I’ and they go into the junk bin. I don’t care about what they want. But If someone can feel my pain, and can suggest what they can bring to help me - I’m all ears!

It feels impossible but the “The Universe Is Full of Magical Things Patiently Waiting for Our Wits to Grow Sharper” - you got this!

MyCyanReader · 25/06/2025 19:07

stuckinthemuddiestwaters · 25/06/2025 11:09

I understand where you are coming from. Although, I did have 20 odd years of experience before I did a short stint as a SAHM. I have postgraduate qualifications in my field as well.

I know I probably need to cast the net wider, but it is very disappointing to give up a professional career.

If i apply for jobs in other industries, I am starting at the beginning and competing with the hundreds of grads looking for jobs, so probably not better off?

I'm going to be blunt but I think your attitude is wrong - you come across as negative.

"I know I probably need to cast the net wider, but it is very disappointing to give up a professional career."

It's not about giving up a professional career, it's just finding ANY job until you potentially find something more suitable. I'm currently a teacher, I've worked in engineering, plus as stop gaps I've done all sorts - a TA, working in a chocolate packaging factory, night shift factory work - basically whatever was going.

Most schools would give you a TA job tomorrow. A friend of mine got a TA job as she couldn't find anything in her field and didn't want a career gap and her kids were both at primary school, she then got promoted to a higher level TA due to her degree, and then due to long term sickness of a staff member, she actually ended up teaching A Level as an unqualified teacher. She's now back working in a science laboratory.

MellersSmellers · 25/06/2025 19:39

You've come second in 2 interviews so no, you're not employable. Carefully think about the feedback and what additional skills could get you over the line, and keep plugging away. It WILL happen. Best of luck.

stuckinthemuddiestwaters · 25/06/2025 20:41

AlwaysHungryForBiscuits · 25/06/2025 15:42

Telling people that they think they’re “too good” for some jobs just because they have certain things they’re looking for is exactly trying to take them down a peg. I work part time in an office and have many colleagues doing the same, some had taken time out before that, others had career changed into this field. It’s not that unrealistic, if you have the skills and experience. If you don’t then obviously you do have to take whatever is going but the OP sounds like she has a background in a professional job.

Thank you for all your kind comments. As you indicate, it shouldn’t be a race to the bottom.

OP posts:
Fearfulsaints · 25/06/2025 20:55

There is definitely more unemployed people than there are jobs available.

I made the comment about people not being suited to certain types of work, because I genuinely feel a lot of people would be really crap carers and I hate how this is trotted out as a job you can just walk into and therefore there should be no unemployed. People who need care deserve better. Its not about being 'too good' its about not being good enough.

Inthebleakmidwinter1 · 25/06/2025 21:06

If you keep coming second then it’s just a numbers game. Keep going and you will be successful eventually

stuckinthemuddiestwaters · 25/06/2025 22:33

Fearfulsaints · 25/06/2025 20:55

There is definitely more unemployed people than there are jobs available.

I made the comment about people not being suited to certain types of work, because I genuinely feel a lot of people would be really crap carers and I hate how this is trotted out as a job you can just walk into and therefore there should be no unemployed. People who need care deserve better. Its not about being 'too good' its about not being good enough.

Spot on. I am that person who would be a crap carer. I also wouldn't be a great teacher, which is a career a few people I know have suggested to me because there a shortage.

OP posts:
stuckinthemuddiestwaters · 25/06/2025 22:36

MellersSmellers · 25/06/2025 19:39

You've come second in 2 interviews so no, you're not employable. Carefully think about the feedback and what additional skills could get you over the line, and keep plugging away. It WILL happen. Best of luck.

Thank you 😊

OP posts:
2025mj · 26/06/2025 09:37

I've only ever had management roles in retail and even I'm finding it difficult
Apply for many jobs through indeed and sometimes as little as five hours later they've rejected me
I wish I had the qualifications to do something better and actually enjoy what I do

pollymere · 26/06/2025 09:40

I've been second choice for jobs and then got the job at interview. Think how you are coming across at interview. They wouldn't interview you if they didn't think you had the skills.

Research the Company so you know about them. Think of questions about the role you could ask. Think about relevant experience you have that you could talk about during the interview.

And remember that my DH has got jobs because the "first choice" turned it down!

Commonsense22 · 26/06/2025 09:56

OP I think in this day and age, one has to be prepared to
-start again from the bottom, many times
-change sectors, many times

I have done so myself and it is exhausting, bit also my duty.

Donsyb · 26/06/2025 15:04

When I lost my job a few years ago I went and worked in hospitality for a year. Built my confidence back up and then started looking for jobs that were in my normal
field. I thought people would question my “year out” but they didn’t.

so maybe just get any job that suits the hours you need and in 12 months or so look for something more in your field?

needacorset · 27/06/2025 10:15

You're not unemployable. You're just feeling doubt because of the rejections which feel like knockbacks and are undermining you. You are very close to getting a job, keep going, don't give up. I too am in a similar position and feel really dejected and hopeless and it's hard to keep going. Three interviews - three jobs not gained. I need to follow my own advice and keep going and take into account what saltinesandcoffeecups said - which is brilliant. Good luck.

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