To think getting a job is impossible for some?

[stuckinthemuddiestwaters]

Two years of looking. Many applications. Two recent interviews. Second choice for both, so did not get a job offer. Had good feedback, but you don’t know what they are really thinking about you.

I have plenty of experience and also promotions at previous workplaces.

AIBU to think I am unemployable?

If you’d gained a lot of experience and built a career in this particular industry before becoming a SAHM, can you contact any previous employers or clients and indicate that you’re looking to get back in and to keep you in mind for any vacancies? Can you update your industry knowledge and skills by doing some CPD in the meantime, so that you don’t have quite so much of a knowledge gap blaring on your CV?

In many industries and roles it’s difficult not to discount somebody who hasn’t worked or kept their CPD up to date for several years, for whatever reason, when you have other great candidates who don’t have that gap.

So you will still lose those same good candidates

Pt roles are rare is some fields. If it appeals to you as family friendly it will appeal to loads of people. Lots of women work in pt roles or roles below experience level as they fit in with family.
Could you apply for ft roles then look to negotiate hours or apply for flexible working after you have settled in.

Oh really?
Can you give an example of when you last got a new job 'by teatime' , and what decade that was in?

@tumblingdowntherabbithole @tumblingdowntherabbitholeIt’s not that people think they’re “too good”, some people can’t work shifts or weekends if they’re a parent for example, and their work patterns clash with their partner’s and they’ve no one to watch the kids, or they’re a single parent. Where would the kids go if you have to work an evening or weekend and the nurseries/childminders are shut?
Also the jobs you’ve listed pay minimum wage, people private renting or with a mortgage on even a modest house couldn’t afford to do them unless they have a high earning partner being the real bread earner.
OP, hang in there, something will come along. Are you part of Facebook groups for flexible working/parent-friendly jobs etc? There are lots and jobs get posted in there, or if you put a post up describing your skills and what you’re looking for someone might get in touch, have seen this happen.

I agree with pp. it’s not women, it’s anyone taking significant time out.

it does disproportionately affect women as they are the ones that do take time out. There’s a reason men rarely sahp.

it’s a choice. You choose to take time off, you risk not being able to get back into the job market.

also bear in mind employers are looking at that sahm gap on your cv, and your request for PT/flexible working, and many will conclude that your primary role is parenting, and the job will come second.

It does feel like it sometimes. I'm working part time, looking for another job with a better commute but finding a local part time job that's manageable with my family needs and health conditions is a real struggle. It's demoralising at times but I'm sure something will come along eventually, for both of us hopefully!

I took time off work for many years because I was bullied, nearly had a break down, we could afford it, struggled to even fill in applications, eventually I decided new year, new me, I asked people around me and eventually got a job part time which wasn't advertised but they said would suit me better when I got an interview. Maybe have a fresh look at what jobs are available, you could try. Good luck

Yes, it's possible for someone to be unemployable.

A convicted murderer who has an offensive tattoo on his forehead and who can only work every other Tuesday afternoons, and has no qualifications = unemployable.

I =nah, you're fine. Just keep applying, lots of applications, even if it's not what you want long term.

@AlwaysHungryForBiscuits while that obviously does apply to some people, you only need to read the threads on here to know that some people definitely do think they're too good for jobs like that - there are also people who think they shouldn't have to accept a hybrid role as it means paying for a dog walker, or more parking, or train fares.

@tumblingdowntherabbitholeWell yes, if the logistics of a job are going to mean incurring lots of costs like commuting and dog walking, and if the salary isn’t enough to cover those costs then people aren’t going to take it. Everything now is really expensive and average salaries aren’t that high.
And of course if someone has invested years and £££ into getting a degree and professional experience they aren’t going to want to work for minimum wage, unless it’s a very short stop gap.
I hate this culture of trying to bring people down a peg if they dare to not want to accept rock bottom pay and conditions.

@AlwaysHungryForBiscuits it's not about "taking people down a peg" it's about having realistic expectations - very few people can take time out of the workplace and walk in to a part-time job with no childcare costs, in an office environment.

I don't know anyone who has a job that gives them everything - you have to make sacrifices somewhere, and as OP has been out of work for a few years, she may find she has to decide between part-time work in (for example), retail or hospitality or full-time in an office for now.

Telling people that they think they’re “too good” for some jobs just because they have certain things they’re looking for is exactly trying to take them down a peg. I work part time in an office and have many colleagues doing the same, some had taken time out before that, others had career changed into this field. It’s not that unrealistic, if you have the skills and experience. If you don’t then obviously you do have to take whatever is going but the OP sounds like she has a background in a professional job.

^ agree. Have just landed a new role after being second choice 3 times in 18 months

It’s a tough market and has taken ages - I have a v strong CV and haven’t had these challenges before: it’s not you it’s the market. If you are 2nd choice you will be first choice soon enough, can you get people to refer you?

To add: I think you should look for contract roles to get back into work after a gap (or do something self employed while you are looking)

also apply for FT roles & see if there is any flexibility

i am in a niche area(marketing related) and there are NO part time roles advertised: the very few people who work PT have negotiated it. TBH if I was hiring externally I would always want a FT headcount not PT, but I wouldn’t lose a good employee who wanted to go PT if I could help it … this might be a route you need to consider if it’s the same in your field

This situation is the exact reason that I will always caution women from leaving work. It is the counter to the “I’m only working to pay for daycare “ argument.

As a hiring manager I will always give someone with an extended break a fair evaluation. That being said that person is generally going to have to bring something special to the table that raises above candidates who haven’t had a break in working.

Where I live PT or flex working isn’t really a thing so will defer on that point to others but will say that needing concessions for any reason (except disability) is also going to make me less likely to hire you.

As others have mentioned… It is very obvious when someone gets a job after an extended break under their pre break role. I love to see that! I will note it then move on to their previous relevant experience. What I immediately think is that this person is not overly fussy, they are wanting to work and likely have a good work ethic and will likely not be a pain in the ass if asked to do work ‘beneath’ them. (Let’s be honest all roles have shit tasks and times where you need to suck it up and pitch in).

During the interview I will ask about the current role and probably ask questions about their experience starting over/stepping back/or whatever. Basically I’m looking for an answer that highlights how they understood they needed to get back into work, they learned something from the experience, and/or they got along ok in the role. It’s generally a quick question/answer.

I will then transition to their previous relevant experience and ask what they’ve done to stay current in the industry/role. what I’m looking for is some attempt to keep up with current events. Answers I’m looking for: continuing education, keeping any certifications or licenses current, keeping up with subscriptions to trade magazines, knowing about the latest software releases, linked in learning classes, volunteering in an adjacent or related area, etc. In other words, something that tells me despite the time away they’ve made some sort effort to keep current.

Then I’ll transition to dig into their previous experience in detail, the same as I would a person without a break.

Hope this helps the OP or anyone else who finds themselves in this position. I get it, it’s hard. For those that might find themselves making a similar choice in the future please go back to my first paragraph.

So your question isn't
"AIBU to think getting a job is impossible for some?"

so much as

"AIBU to think It's not fair that I can't get the Holy Grail of jobs - including me limiting myself to part time and 'nice work' in an office, that pays me as well as I want, even though I haven't worked for two years and in that time can't show that I have been volunteering, or working in a job I'm not so keen on" ?

One of my kids just changed jobs, in a competitive sector. To get one thing she really wanted, she compromised on other things. There are jobs around but employers expectations are high.

Can you try temping? Sometimes that can lead to a permanent opportunity - I've found two permanent jobs like this. It's true that it's easier to get a job when you're already working.

I understand that you want to stay in the field in which you have qualifications and experience but, as you've been trying without success for two years, you need to change tack. Take any job you can get, then keep looking for the dream job.

@saltinesandcoffeecups That is such good advice.

Telling people that they think they’re “too good” for some jobs just because they have certain things they’re looking for is exactly trying to take them down a peg.

Right, but that's not actually what I said.

I said some people do think they're too good for certain jobs and that some people have unrealistic expectations as to what they need to look for.

I applied at around 0800, interview at midday and submission of ID, right to work documents.. etc, confirmation of training and first shift by 1700.

This was in 2021.
Any other questions?

There's also no point in taking a job that you're not going to be able to manage because the hours or location isn't practical. I've seen plenty of colleagues start jobs in good faith only to find out that whoever hired them wasn't completely honest about these things. Why would you knowingly put yourself in an unsuitable job?

I’m applying for jobs and it’s shocking.

I’ve had rejections saying that the position has been filled, but the advert is still up making it look like there are vacancies when there aren’t;

I’ve been invited to do presentations and then told by clients in the sector my interview work has been presented to them as a pitch when I was told that I wasn’t qualified for the job;

I’ve applied for jobs and then been called by the company trying to sell me their product where they are using adverts to find corresponding people in relevant sectors;

I’ve applied for jobs through recruitment agents who have then phoned me to ask if I am looking for new jobs does that mean my employer is hiring.

I’ve been rejected for a job and then sent marketing material and discount codes as part of the rejection email.

Ive applied for jobs advertised as remote only to be told they require 4 days a week in the office.

good luck- it’s shit

All well and good suggesting that people should consider taking a backward step & working their way back up, but I soon lost count of the number of times I was told I wouldn't be offered an interview or a job after an interview because I was over-qualified/had too much higher level experience, and would soon get bored and leave.

I was actually at a stage when I wanted and needed a lower level job for at least a significant amount of time, having been broken more than once by the pressures of the higher level jobs. But I would never be given that chance to prove I didn't want the stress and responsibility any longer.

Having worked managerial grade with staff and working directly with Directors, in a specialist area which has transferrable skills, I'm now working one level above the bottom in a local council as an admin and that's suiting me perfectly - I intend to stay there up to & if possible past retirement.