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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Holiday photos on Facebook whilst off sick

625 replies

TeaAndBrie · 24/06/2025 18:38

Really interested to hear opinions on this one.
Staff member off long term sick (fully paid as local gov) due to mental health issues, signed off by GP for 4 months so far.
staff member is friends with manager on Facebook.
staff member has been uploading photos of holiday abroad on Facebook.
i would not expect someone who is on LTS for mental health reasons to never leave the house etc
Holiday photos seem a bit much though - especially when manager and other colleagues who can see these pics are having to pick up all of the work whilst he is away.
YABU - let them have their holiday, it’s good for them!
YANBU - let them have the holiday but would be better to have have pics on SM

OP posts:
coolbreezes · 24/06/2025 23:25

chachahide · 24/06/2025 23:23

I swear we've lost all persecutive in this country, and it's why we're one of the least productive countries in the world... of course it's not ok, if an employee of one of my businesses did this I'd be fuming and I AM sympathetic to mental health illness having suffered myself. Businesses don't run on fumes.

Maybe if you learnt a bit more about mental health your businesses would be more profitable.

alexalisten · 24/06/2025 23:27

toughtimestoday · 24/06/2025 23:24

Maybe check that out with ACAS who view it differently as below -

Is work-related stress recordable as a mental illness case?

Answer: Mental illnesses, such as depression or anxiety disorder, that have work-related stress as a contributing factor, are recordable if the employee voluntarily provides the employer with an opinion from a physician or other licensed health care professional with appropriate training and experience

I'm not going to engage with you anymore though as you are clearly a person who as I originally said, is unable to see or consider any other viewpoint than your own. And given I am referring to myself I kind of think I am capable of determining whether my current issues are mentally or physically based.

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Yes anxiety disorder and depression is a mental illness is never said it wasn't i said anxiety attacks and work related stress alone are not mental illnesses

ThisSillyFox · 24/06/2025 23:28

What does it say in your contract? If is says you can’t have holidays whilst on LTS then yes they are breaking their contract, if it doesn’t state that then fuck it, they can do what they want.

XenoBitch · 24/06/2025 23:30

alexalisten · 24/06/2025 22:50

I would still feel the same for a physical problem if your at that point where you can manage a holiday i think your capable of doing a few hours at work.

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Depends on your job. One of my colleagues was off work due to breaking a leg. Our work was physical lots of pushing/pulling trolleys/beds. He could not do that at all on a broken leg. He was off for months as he had to be cleared by Occupational Health to come back.

stichguru · 24/06/2025 23:43

If someone is off sick they should be free to do what helps them without judgement. If you are going to complain then you best have evidence that

  • What they did would be IMPOSSIBLE in the condition they said they were in OR
  • Would SERIOUSLY harm them if they did it in the condition they were in
Otherwise your opinion on what they did is seriously 100% irrelevant in ALL circumstances.
ManchesterLu · 24/06/2025 23:45

My DP was having a horrendous time at work a few years ago, to the extent it was ruining his mental health, having anxiety attacks constantly. Doctor signed him off and while he was off we went on a weekend away. Why not? Sometimes work IS the problem! I don't see anything wrong with it. Don't be so nosy!

SalfordQuays · 24/06/2025 23:48

saraclara · 24/06/2025 21:41

Would that 'poor sod' prefer to have a breakdown, do you think?

I've heard people at work moan on about colleagues on long term mental ill health leave, and they clearly don't have a clue of the distress and trauma that their colleague is going through.

When my late DH was starting to recover after his terrifying, unexpected and major breakdown, I couldn't even get him to go for a walk with me at one point, in case someone saw him and thought he was swinging the lead.

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@saraclara actually quite often the people left at work also end up breaking down under the strain. But that’s not what this thread is about. It’s about posting holiday snaps on social media when other people are covering your prolonged absence. It’s not about going for a therapeutic walk at the local park and happening to bump into a colleague.

SalfordQuays · 24/06/2025 23:50

ManchesterLu · 24/06/2025 23:45

My DP was having a horrendous time at work a few years ago, to the extent it was ruining his mental health, having anxiety attacks constantly. Doctor signed him off and while he was off we went on a weekend away. Why not? Sometimes work IS the problem! I don't see anything wrong with it. Don't be so nosy!

@ManchesterLu OP isn’t being nosy. Her absent colleague’s happy holiday photos are plastered all over social media!

XenoBitch · 24/06/2025 23:51

SalfordQuays · 24/06/2025 23:48

@saraclara actually quite often the people left at work also end up breaking down under the strain. But that’s not what this thread is about. It’s about posting holiday snaps on social media when other people are covering your prolonged absence. It’s not about going for a therapeutic walk at the local park and happening to bump into a colleague.

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There are no rules about not posting holidays on your SM.
I am pretty sure your employer can only get involved if you are bad mouthing the company you work for.

XenoBitch · 24/06/2025 23:52

SalfordQuays · 24/06/2025 23:50

@ManchesterLu OP isn’t being nosy. Her absent colleague’s happy holiday photos are plastered all over social media!

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OP is friends with this employee on SM though... which is a massive issue in itself. It blurs the lines and boundaries.

Pistachiocake · 24/06/2025 23:53

Rosieposy89 · 24/06/2025 18:42

Its unwise to post on social media because people are judgemental, but I see nothing wrong in going on holiday. It might be good for them and it's different to dealing with everyday life. After all, the Victorians used to prescribe the seaside to unwell people, so must be merit in it

Companies used to SEND their sick employees on holiday (a local big company used to have a place near Lancaster that they let people have WEEKS staying in after an operation-my husband's nan went there). The books we all all read as kids had people sent away after an illness, to beachy type places where they had adventures. Convalescence was viewed as very important-and arguably one of the things we get wrong these days is expecting people to bounce back right away. Something we get right is accepting the existence of mental health-would anyone have a problem with this person going on a break if she had cancer? I know of several people, of different ages, who took breaks when they could with illnesses, and why shouldn't they? If they've been through something terrible, shouldn't they be allowed any pleasure they can manage? And shouldn't their families-or should they all be stuck home? Of course there's an issue if someone says they can't possibly work as they've got a broken leg and then posts pictures of themselves running up a mountain-but there are many situations when a person is not capable or doing their job, but can manage to go on a family holiday.
Sure, some people will complain, but then some will complain about people on maternity leave looking like they're enjoying themselves.

SalfordQuays · 24/06/2025 23:54

LovelySunset · 24/06/2025 22:48

Surely if someone is off sick then you’d expect them to do things that will support their recovery and return to work, which may well include a trip away.

also, if someone was off sick with a physical illness, would you have an issue with them going on holiday and sharing photos of it online?

@LovelySunset yes I would. When someone is on long term sick it is bloody hard for the people left behind to cover. And it’s not unusual for them to become ill too. It should be a two-way street. In the same way that the person off sick should be allowed to recover in whatever way works for them, then the people stuck at the coalface shouldn’t have to see beach photos when they’ve had to cancel their holiday due to staff shortages. It’s about mutual respect. The feelings of the person off sick don’t trump the feelings of the ones still working.

SalfordQuays · 24/06/2025 23:55

XenoBitch · 24/06/2025 23:51

There are no rules about not posting holidays on your SM.
I am pretty sure your employer can only get involved if you are bad mouthing the company you work for.

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@XenoBitch I’m sure you’re right, legally. But morally it’s wrong.

Ilikemymenlikeilikemycoffee · 24/06/2025 23:56

TeaAndBrie · 24/06/2025 19:00

Yep, off on full pay for up to 6 months and then it would go to half pay.

I understand Mental Health and support them to do things to enhance their wellbeing - it’s the SM posts that I was asking for opinions on.

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Yeah there’s nothing you can do about it! It’s unfair and it’s brazen but they’re within their rights unfortunately!

IHaveAlwaysLivedintheCastle · 24/06/2025 23:59

stichguru · 24/06/2025 23:43

If someone is off sick they should be free to do what helps them without judgement. If you are going to complain then you best have evidence that

  • What they did would be IMPOSSIBLE in the condition they said they were in OR
  • Would SERIOUSLY harm them if they did it in the condition they were in
Otherwise your opinion on what they did is seriously 100% irrelevant in ALL circumstances.

If someone is on sick leave and wants to go on holiday they should notify their employer as if they were at work.

https://www.acas.org.uk/checking-sick-pay/sick-pay-and-holiday-pay

Sick pay and holiday pay - Sick pay - Acas

What happens to pay if sickness and holiday occur at the same time. Includes information on taking and building up holiday while off sick long term.

https://www.acas.org.uk/checking-sick-pay/sick-pay-and-holiday-pay

XenoBitch · 25/06/2025 00:01

SalfordQuays · 24/06/2025 23:54

@LovelySunset yes I would. When someone is on long term sick it is bloody hard for the people left behind to cover. And it’s not unusual for them to become ill too. It should be a two-way street. In the same way that the person off sick should be allowed to recover in whatever way works for them, then the people stuck at the coalface shouldn’t have to see beach photos when they’ve had to cancel their holiday due to staff shortages. It’s about mutual respect. The feelings of the person off sick don’t trump the feelings of the ones still working.

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What is happening in the workplace when someone is off sick is not the responsibility of the person off sick, and it should not something they need worry about either. All that is on the management.

I was off long term sick with MH. When I returned, my manager told me that I should go round to all my colleagues and apologise for my time off. And this is how fucking backwards some work places are about MH issues.

alexalisten · 25/06/2025 00:02

SalfordQuays · 24/06/2025 23:54

@LovelySunset yes I would. When someone is on long term sick it is bloody hard for the people left behind to cover. And it’s not unusual for them to become ill too. It should be a two-way street. In the same way that the person off sick should be allowed to recover in whatever way works for them, then the people stuck at the coalface shouldn’t have to see beach photos when they’ve had to cancel their holiday due to staff shortages. It’s about mutual respect. The feelings of the person off sick don’t trump the feelings of the ones still working.

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Omg id be fuming if I had to cancel my holiday for a sick colleague and then they went on holiday

alexalisten · 25/06/2025 00:03

XenoBitch · 25/06/2025 00:01

What is happening in the workplace when someone is off sick is not the responsibility of the person off sick, and it should not something they need worry about either. All that is on the management.

I was off long term sick with MH. When I returned, my manager told me that I should go round to all my colleagues and apologise for my time off. And this is how fucking backwards some work places are about MH issues.

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Fuck that i wouldn't be apologising.

ilovesooty · 25/06/2025 00:04

alexalisten · 24/06/2025 23:11

But work based stress isnt a mental illness

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😡

XenoBitch · 25/06/2025 00:05

alexalisten · 25/06/2025 00:03

Fuck that i wouldn't be apologising.

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I didn't. I mean, what was I apologising for? But my life was made hell. My previously friendly colleagues actually avoided me like I had the plague.

ilovesooty · 25/06/2025 00:07

coolbreezes · 24/06/2025 23:21

Agree. And that people can present as coping to everyone and be falling apart on the inside. And due to these misconceptions about mental health may not even realise they need to seek help urgently, or may not know how to articulate how much they are struggling when on the surface they are still holding everything together.

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Everyone around me could see I was ill
I couldn't see it.

XenoBitch · 25/06/2025 00:08

ilovesooty · 25/06/2025 00:07

Everyone around me could see I was ill
I couldn't see it.

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Same, Is why I was sectioned. You don't get sectioned if you know you are ill and want help.

DonnaBanana · 25/06/2025 00:15

Holiday while off long term sick is fine but it still needs to be booked off separately. It’s not like being off sick is a catch all, those days still get deducted from your holiday allowance, otherwise you could have two weeks off, come back off sick then go on holiday again!!

saltinesandcoffeecups · 25/06/2025 00:24

Haven’t RTFT… simple solution to all of this. Don’t connect with coworkers or managers on SM.!

Chintzcardboard · 25/06/2025 00:48

TeaAndBrie · 24/06/2025 18:38

Really interested to hear opinions on this one.
Staff member off long term sick (fully paid as local gov) due to mental health issues, signed off by GP for 4 months so far.
staff member is friends with manager on Facebook.
staff member has been uploading photos of holiday abroad on Facebook.
i would not expect someone who is on LTS for mental health reasons to never leave the house etc
Holiday photos seem a bit much though - especially when manager and other colleagues who can see these pics are having to pick up all of the work whilst he is away.
YABU - let them have their holiday, it’s good for them!
YANBU - let them have the holiday but would be better to have have pics on SM

Had same situation w very challenging employee. He went out for long term MH, he was out all the time doing exciting things and holidays. It was infuriating. Living a busy busy busy “getting back to best self” for months. Others would bump into him and he was saying: Pilates, soul cycle, Rome, Croatia etc.

Employment lawyer said we had to let him do whatever he was doing with no comment. Worse he had a company car & he needed it for getting to Pilates! Lawyer was saying don’t take the car … his mental health could suffer!!

When his long term was “over” he wanted a redundancy! Company said yes & good riddance. Got the car back.