Holiday photos on Facebook whilst off sick

[TeaAndBrie]

Really interested to hear opinions on this one.
Staff member off long term sick (fully paid as local gov) due to mental health issues, signed off by GP for 4 months so far.
staff member is friends with manager on Facebook.
staff member has been uploading photos of holiday abroad on Facebook.
i would not expect someone who is on LTS for mental health reasons to never leave the house etc
Holiday photos seem a bit much though - especially when manager and other colleagues who can see these pics are having to pick up all of the work whilst he is away.
YABU - let them have their holiday, it’s good for them!
YANBU - let them have the holiday but would be better to have have pics on SM

I know, I'm talking about my experience though. I said while there are others, I wouldn't do so and so.

I have 3 mental health conditions if you include being ND in that. I'm allowed to talk about what I'd do and what I consider appropriate from my perspective. It's called life and opinions.

I think it's one thing going on holiday, it's another taking the piss and posting the pictures!

I am the manager

And you had to ask on Mumsnet first. Why?

If the holiday was already booked and paid for before the sick leave, would you expect them to just not go and lose their money?

That must have been horrible.

But it doesn't reflect on what anyone else is going through or how they present. What will help one person will make another feel worse

I carried on working through a severe MH crisis (the only reason I wasn't in a mother and baby unit was because my mum who is a nurse lived near by and they decided that was a suitable alternative). My psychiatrist could see how much comfort I got from my work , and my work accommodated all my therapy into my week. But I was in serious crisis. It just manifests differently in different people. And the nature of my job (very focussed research) meant it was quite soothing to keep working

I think this is what people tend to have experienced with friends and relatives with serious mh problems.
Yes, everyone is different but just doing everyday tasks is a real challenge for most struggling nevermind leaving the country.

I would have no problem with them having the holiday- it may well help their mental health but I think I would suggest they don’t post it on social media. However on the other hand if they are someone who posts a lot not posting it might look like they are hiding it which could annoy other staff if they found out and make it look like they were doing something they shouldn’t, when they do have every right to go away.
Also raising it with them could cause them a lot of anxiety if that’s part of the MH issue because they will worry they have upset people/are going to be in trouble etc.
Maybe a suggestion would be limited posting- a couple of photos rather than a daily dump.

Fair enough if that's what you wanted to do. I wouldn't though. I don't think it'd look good to my employers.

I certainly wasn't even in a position to attend a pub. I had complete ND burn out and severe anxiety. I couldn't do it so am glad you were able to. More power to you.

Be careful ! Because it’s actually the law that whilst of on sick leave they can go about and do normal stuff like go on holidays specially if it’s mental health or stress related ! Because it can help in these instances !
I read something about a chap in the news ages ago about being in the pub whilst on sick leave he was sacked but tribunal said it was unfair dismissal!

Why. A sensible well informed employer would rather see someone with MH problems out socialising, exercising and getting fresh air as they will know that will help them get better.

When I was signed off with severe stress my GP told me to "socialise and exercise".
It was very hard for me to do those things, but the more I did them the better I felt.

It was Drs orders, why should I hide it?

And in terms of my own experience: while off work with severe anxiety I could have gone away as long as it was somewhere I was comfortable with and it probably would have helped. My anxiety (at atleast the part that was out of control) was almost entirely work related with a small amount of health anxiety too.

I know I keep repeating it is what I experienced and from my perspective. I worked right up until I literally could not. I couldn't function another step. The laptop words were just floating before my eyes, I couldn't do anything. I've been through a lot in my life but that time I couldn't have put another foot in front of me. I had to have a smear during it and I had a panic attack whilst she was doing it, I was so embarrassed. I couldn't have made it on holiday not a chance.

I can relate, I have several MH issues and didn’t even realise I was in ND burnout because I didn’t know I was ND until I tried to end it all and ended up with an AUHD diagnosis. I was lucky enough to be able holiday but it was with a lot of support from my husband plus a load of medication and I mainly went for the kids sake but it benefited me enormously. I hope you in a better place now 💐

Yes as a supervisor when I had a staff off with MH I was pleased when I heard they had been out and about a bit etc as it meant they were hopefully on the mend or working on their recovery. The ones who worried me were those stuck at home the whole time as they were clearly no where near ready to come back.

I wasn't saying you should hide it.

My bosses wouldn't have looked at it kindly :(

When you have a lot of time off sick (which I did), then you do not go from being too unwell to do anything to suddenly fit to go back.
If the aim is to get back to work, then you build up to it gradually. Seeing friends, and going to the pub can be part of that, and can occur for a while before you go back to work.
And leave from hospital is the same. They want you to get out and do normal things.

You sound like a great supervisor ☺️

I had long term leave off work because I had severe mental health issues due to the abusive relationship I was in. I went on holiday (with him) and even though in the photos I was smiling, I was forced to go on this holiday where I continued to be abused and continued to plan my suicide. You never know anyone’s situation, you see what people post on social media but you have no idea what is going on in their life or why their off work sick, regardless if it is mental or physical health. Plus if they’ve been signed off then there is a genuine reason, doctors letters etc as ‘proof’

Are you free from him now @beesandstrawberries?

Thanks. I’m not in the role any more. It was incredibly stressful but I did my best and genuinely did want the best for my staff (and the kids in my care).

Thank you I appreciate it. I didn't get any support from my partner at all. I am unmedicated and I knew what I was going through I could only make it through by processing what I had gone through. It took time but I felt like I had a breakdown honestly. Thank you for understanding burnout. I have ADHD diagnosed but I think I'm AUDHD.

Still unmedicated now but I use a lot of mindfulness and have to keep to a routine.

I honestly stopped functioning. Wish I could explain it better but think people think am attacking them when I'm just explaining my own experience. I wouldn't have gone on holiday, I literally couldn't. I just don't think it's appropriate to show case with photos, least change the privacy settings maybe so bosses can't see it.

I would just add that those on long term sick accrue holiday whilst on leave, so I would get HR to contact them with you to explain that they still need to advise of holidays etc. save you paying them at a later date possibly!

as it is I am in HR and there is a general attitude that people on mental health sick leave shouldn’t do the same as everyone else but you have no idea about their mental health unless you have walked in their shoes. Try to be objective and as manager uphold the support, you wouldn’t want your opinion to be misconstrued openly, despite what you may think privately.

I think I felt pressure to go back. Kept having to do weekly teams meetings. Even with a sick note. This is NHS btw.

My dh suffers with mh, we have a caravan and honestly the difference in him is unreal when we are away he is a different man and comes across so confident, it really is so lovely to see and the reason why we go away so much, I am self employed so I don’t have anyone to answer to when we do it, so we are lucky in that sense. Your employee has been signed off for mh not a physical disability so he is able to go away when he wants, and he can post what he likes on social media, it does seem unfair with you having to pick up the slack but I don’t think there’s much you can do about it. Just be kind to him. I never knew about my dh mental state until I went to the dr’s with him and saw my usually very masculine man break down in front of us being unable to speak.

You’ve gone through an incredibly hard time unsupported by partner or work, we internalise so much when we are ND and came sometimes start to think that shitty treatment is what we deserve and if we could just ‘get on with it’ then everyone would be kinder x

@TeaAndBrie you need to familiarise yourself with the law. An employee is entitled to take leave while on sick leave. Also, an employee is expected not to go on holiday whilst of sick unless with specific conditions (stress / mental health), however doing so may indicate recovery and the employee would be expected back to work.

All according to company law. Check with your HR people if you have them.

Splashing it over social media is an error of judgement.