My neighbours have disappeared

[poppetandmog]

This is really none of my business but it’s such an odd situation, I had to share. My garden backs on to two other houses. We don’t know these neighbours - they technically live around the corner from us on a different street but because of the way the houses are positioned and with our house being slightly elevated, we can see in to their gardens and to a lesser degree, in to their houses. One of the neighbours has 3 small boys (I’d guess ages 5-10) and we would often see them playing football all in the garden. We’d also see them coming and going to school/work etc as they tended to use their back door.

it suddenly occurred to me the other day that I hadn’t seen them in months. No cars on the driveway either. Being nosey, I checked to see if the house was for sale, thinking they’d moved somewhere else but it isn’t. I’m now kind of worried as it’s just really odd for a family to disappear, but as we don’t actually know them, i could be totally wrong. Should I report this to someone to check they’re okay? There’s probably a logical explanation but if something has happened to them, I’d feel terrible noticing and doing nothing. Thoughts?

I went away for six weeks a few years ago. It would never have occurred to me to tell the neighbours. Why is it their business?

If there are no debt collector letters on the door or personal belongings anywhere then they've clearly just moved away. Even leaving everything behind is also surprisingly common and rarely a sign of something sinister like mass murder or whatever other comments have been suggesting.

In the vast majority of cases, it's people who made shit financial decisions and simply up and leave to escape their debts. Sometimes it's caused by poor MH, DV or other issues that makes packing up impossible so they just leave everything behind.

Even in our relatively small circle of friends, we know 2 cases of it happening. Our neighbour disappeared overnight leaving everything behind. There was no forwarding address so the mailbox was spilling over as well. She reappeared perfectly fine 3 years later and we saw her by coincidence in a restaurant. Was most likely a debt problem as she would often order masses of things from online shops that were all piling up in our building.

Second case was from a friend who rented an apartment to a Ukrainian refugee family. They stopped paying rent at some point and then just left taking the keys with them. This made it very difficult to evict because you're not allowed to just change the locks if the tenants still have the keys. They still had everything in the apartment and despite being gone and uncontactable. It was eventually sorted out after a long legal battle.

Having had to report to the police for a welfare check when a client failed to turn up to an appointment twice I’d always report. First time they had got back together. Second time, well he ended up in prison. I still remember it decades later.

Obviously that IS tragic, but to be blunt, it would still be too late by the time people had noticed they were missing. Unless we’re all meant to perform daily checks?

@Anotherscrubber

Wow your post comes across as really aggressive and filled with projection about your experience which is quite specific and personal to you.

OP @poppetandmog is posting out of concern not nosiness.

There was no need to be so sharp in your last sentence.

I disagree, but thanks for commenting.

Police check- because things can happen.

I think it’s nice of you to care. I often do welfare checks on my elderly neighbours. You’re just doing the same

Thanks everyone. I think the house is unlikely to be rented. It’s a large 6 bed house - not the type that tends to be rented out around here - but I agree it’s a possibility. I feel a bit silly now for assuming the worse - I’m not generally a nosey person, honestly, just concerned because of the kids. I only really noticed because my dog likes to go up to the shared fence and be nosey when the kids are playing in the garden - he loves kids - and I realised he hadn’t done that for months. I know their next door neighbour fairly well as we both have dogs and tend to bump into each other so will mention it to them in passing next time I see them out on a walk. Thanks everyone.

They probably just done a moon light flip.
I did it a few times moved out and no one knew.
I moved at night a few times due to nosy neighbours.

Some of our neighbours have gone to stay with family abroad whilst DC still young enough to be in diff school system for a year. We live in a university town and families take sabbaticals away quite often

Is the garden being maintained? The lawn would be four foot high if no one has been there for a few months with the weather we have had!

Visions of them all somersaulting down the road now ...

Also OP, it's very nice of you to be concerned - do what you feel you need to do but ignore the daft suggestions about lost balls, lost dogs etc - typical Mumsnet over-complicatedness at its finest!

Way to miss the point spectacularly

They have artificial grass, so no overgrown lawn

😂 In the dark.

What exactly WAS your point?

🤣🤣🤣

TBH I can't see it either.

My elderly (and terminally ill) neighbour died a few weeks ago. I saw her very late on the evening when I went to take her dog out for a wee. The next morning I found her dead. Given where she was located and what she was wearing, I would hazard a guess she died soon after I left. The paramedics said she'd been dead for several hours when they got to her.

I was sad to think that had I only stayed a few more minutes then she may not have died alone. But then from what I've been told, her death was probably instant. Minutes, hours, we will all be a long time dead. But had it not been for the fact she had a dog that she needed help with, I would never have been there at all...such a private woman, almost reclusive. I only knew they was a problem when it became known in the neighbourhood that she needed help with the dog.

Sad as it is, she could have been there for far longer, had I not been going round for the dog. I only really knew her to shout hello to, on the rare occasions I saw her out, and I didn't think she'd accept my offer to help. I'm glad she did, but we are all limited as to what we can do.

"I know their next door neighbour fairly well as we both have dogs and tend to bump into each other so will mention it to them in passing next time I see them out on a walk."

That's the thing to do. If any neighbour knows anything it will be someone next door.

😆

We had this. NDN worked for a supermarket the whole family went abroad for him to set up the software for new stores in that country. They left everything in their house and came back every 6months or so for birthdays, Christmas etc. One of their parents would pop round occasionally to clear post. We didn’t realise they’d gone (or were back) for a good few days and were semi detached on them. So I can see how easy it would be if we only connected on the garden. They have two children.

+1 on this. Notifying the police is the smartest move, and surely this won't be the first time they've faced a situation like this!

Hopefully they are gone on an extended trip around the world!!

I think you are really caring to notice - tell Police then job done x
I left my Relationship once and a neighbour tracked me down on WhatsApp to check on my welfare - I thought that was very kind !