To wear this bridesmaid dress when I’m not a bridesmaid?

[IcyBlonde15]

I was meant to be bridesmaid for a friend 2 years ago, long story short the wedding didn’t happen but I still have the dress I was supposed to wear. I was gutted I wouldn’t get wearing as I loved it. My brother is getting married this summer, and the bride asked me to be bridesmaid but I have chose to just be a guest based on having young children with me etc. I have been wondering about possibly wearing my bridesmaid dress for this occasion. Her wedding party are all in black so there’s no chance I will clash with them or be mistaken for a bridesmaid. Do you think I could wear this dress or is it just to bridesmaidy? Opinions welcome

It’s lovely. I think it looks ok as a wedding guest dress. It’s very pretty.

It's not to my taste... I would probably sell it and buy something simpler and less girly.

I'm on team ask the bride. One thought though- are there any plans for your dc to be flower girls / page boys? If so, the supervising parent is often a bit more dressed up, so might work in that context.

It's pretty and I think it would be fine. If the others are wearing black you won't look like you're trying to be a part of the bridesmaid brigade. Go for it.

Also, as a bride I would be appreciative of you making such a big effort for the special day.

Looks like a perfectly acceptable dress for a wedding guest. I'm not in the UK though, so the norms may be different there.

I love it from the front but don't like the cut out back at all.

That said, I think it's ok.

As others have said, take off the bow.

Will anyone else be in full length?

Even if not, not sure I'd shorten it or only by a little.

Not sure it would suit knee length!

Get it shortened. Remove the bow.

@IcyBlonde15 a quick google search reveals modern bridesmaids dresses come in a variety of different styles. It’s a beautiful dress and of a completely different colour family to that of the actual bridesmaids so I’d just wear it and I bet no one notices anything. And if you like it as is, ignore PP saying shorten it or remove bow etc - I mean to have those changes made by a tailor (not cheap) may as well buy a new dress altogether! You’ve already spent good money no need to waste more!

I'd talk to the bride making it absolutely clear you will go with whatever she says. Bow off (the new cancel the cheque) and careful accessories and hair, ie quite understated and I think you'd be fine, but talk to her. All in black bridesmaids is quite a statement and your ally here I think.

Interesting the vote is 50:50 I was on the fence. Could you ask the bride what the bridesmaids are wearing and if they are a similar colour/style?

This

Wear it back to front, then nobody can accuse you of looking too bridesmaidy! 🤷🏼‍♀️

@MrsMoastyToasty I am actually a witness and have to do a poem x

Why can't you be bridesmaid because you have kids?

It's a family wedding, surely someone can look after them if their dad's not around?

I think it's too bridesmaid-y if you're not a bridesmaid.

Ask the bride!! She did ask you after all to be a bridesmaid originally and perhaps you can do a reading for them? If bride and groom are ok with it. Nobody else’s opinion matters! I’d have been absolutely fine with you wearing it if you were my SIL.

Could you have it altered to make it less bridesmaidy but more functional? Change the length and have a panel (or something?) fitted so that it's not open backed, lose the bow?

Also agree with PP that you should be asking the bride, not us really.

Is it from Chi Chi London? I think I recognise it. Anyway, it's lovely but unfortunately it's too bridesmaidy. I hope you get another opportunity to wear it.

Sorry OP, it's lovely but it's got definite bridesmaid vibes.

Ask her, if your were my sil I’d be absolutely fine with it.

Might be ok if you take the bow off.

I think it looks like a good guest dress. You'd only look like a BM if you were in wedding colours.

More reasons full length would be OK, wedding party adjacent. Ask the bride, it sounds like you have a good relationship if you're a witness/doing a reading.

I'd ask her what she thinks before just showing up in it on the day.