36 year old couple… How bad are our finances?

[UpQuick]

DH and I both work. We have £25K saved in a Lifetime ISA as a starting point for a house deposit. We have a combined income of 4,000 per month, after tax. That’s to cover all of life’s expenses. We do have £2,000 on a 0% credit card.

we have recently moved from a rented house into accommodation provided by a family member. They are giving us a discount on this, so it’s helping us to save. We also have two DC age 12 and 9. The thing is, we would really like another, but I’m worried that would be totally irresponsible.

very grateful for opinions…

It's really not that bloody bad as you are making our. The third one tends to just sot in
Besides once you've got to the stage of older kids you are far more likely to be chilled out about babies ,and certainly far more aware of what they actually need

And I've never heard so much sanctimonious shit and on this thread. Tiny savings? 25 k is more than at least 80% of the population have.

University? No guarantee of them going and no parent HAS to.pay for adult kids to attend. Worse that happens is student needs to get a job to top up any lians

As for " Of course, if your standards for your children is to just keep them clothed, housed and fed then do what you want I guess.
It's a subjective question really. Everyone has different standards for their kids, some higher than other's" Well I'm almost speechless at such snootiness

If it were me, I would not add a 3rd child as I’d think it was irresponsible.

You don’t own property yet, you have a very small income, tiny amount of savings and there would be a massive age gap.

What are your pensions like?

I think at 36 you really need to get on the housing ladder sooner rather than later so that your 25 or 30 year mortgage is paid off by the time you retire.

Once you’ve bought a house then think about having a 3rd child.

I'm not sure it's a great idea to plan a third child with the intention of relying on benefits to make it financially viable. That just seems a recipie for a very high pressured and unstable situation. They are about to head into an extremely expensive time of life, don't own a home and have minimal.savings. Their older children may want to go to university and are about to hit a time where they need lots of support with exams etc. It's one thing to commit to that when you know you can pay for it, but foolhardy to do it when you can't.

Lots of people rent and have kids. Are they all irresponsible?

How much will the house you are aiming to buy cost?

Turn it round the other way- what can you give a 3rd child?
This isn't about you.
It's about the life you're giving to your children.

You're stretched as it is, both on lowish incomes.

Once the teenage years kick in you're going to struggle with the cost of clothes, activities, school trips, etc.

As a PP says, what are your careers? Are you both able to earn more, be promoted, get a different job?

I’m not counting the 25k as savings as they have it earmarked for a house at which point it’s all gone. So 2k of debt and no savings…is not a great position to be bringing another child into to be honest. But as I say that’s just my opinion

It depends. Renting is not a stable way to live long term. It's different maybe if it's social housing where you can be there for life, but private renting is not secure. I've seen many families with kids being given notice and having to scramble for another tenancy and sometimes the kids have to move schools.
It's unsettling.

A new baby will put a tonne of pressure on your finances, your ability to earn and save, and your other children. I would invest in your children's future rather than reducing investment in them.

You are both earning around the national average and are able to meet your living costs without accruing debt, and with £23k of savings. This puts you in a far better position than most UK families. Obviously having another child is going to make you worse off so you need to do your sums and see if it could work and what sacrifices you'd have to make. You also need to consider your long term prospects. Are these salaries the most you'll ever earn, or do you expect to get better off in time? A temporary belt tightening is a different prospect to knowing you'll be on a tight budget for the next 20 years.

Really? I think you mean the minimum wage. Earning £25K pa gives a net income of just over £2K a month.

Median salary if £37Kpa.

They have only saved on average £2K a year between them in 10 years.

Why do you have debt? If it's a sign of out of control spending, then it's a problem. If you can't live within your means (and there are people who can't no matter how high their salary is), then adding another child won't help.

If I was your family member who was giving you discounted accommodation to help support you to buy a house, I would not be at all happy that you decided to have another child - and you may well be looking for somewhere else to live.

I didn't think your situation sounded too bad...then I saw you had two DC and I thought, well it's not particularly ideal not to own your own home but it could be worse....and then I saw you are considering a third and I thought that sounded ridiculously irresponsible.

OK but then are 36! If they really want another kid it's naive to assume they can have one later. Most people have to have kids before their finances are perfect - that's biology!

If your two older children are the same sex, they can share rooms (but not ideal as teenagers.)

If they are not, they need their own room.

This means that the 'new baby' would need a room of their own, as it's not fair to expect a children of 10 and 13 to share a bedroom with a baby.

So you'd be looking at 4-bed houses. One for you and your H, once each (possibly) for the older children and one for the new baby.

Is that something you have thought about ?

My sister was born 11 years after me - I have 2 brothers close to my age.

We have no real relationship, I was working when she started school, nothing in common... and the babysitting expectations were part of what made me move 650 miles away.

My sister decided to have a similar age gap with her 4th... for some reason... and ended up with twins. She finds it incredibly hard as she is older, her partner left as he found having 5 kids "all a bit much". (Like she doesn't!?). Their choices have affected their whole family, not in a great way.

Perfect finances is not what this is about. It's about providing the basics.
I didn't say they should wait . I said they don't appear to be in a position at all to buy.

And, FWIW, many of the my social circle are having their 1st child at 35 because of the cost of housing.

Have you thought what would happen if you lose your (average paying) job, or your partner does? You don’t have a household rainy day fund, which is irresponsible when you have kids. And £2K debt. You would be crazy to bring a third child into the world.

I wont say the figures, but our household income is many times yours.
We decided we couldn’t afford a third and live the life we wanted and I’m very glad we did. While they're expensive for nursery/baby stage, it is absolutely nothing to the expense of owning a teenager.

That’s absolute nonsense. There’s no obligation to charge a particular level of rent for a property.

Do you really want to start all over again with a baby with a ten year gap @UpQuick? You’re just starting to get your life back. I’d save like crazy and buy that house if it was me.

Nobody is really talking about the cost of waiting to buy a house. Yes it gives you time to save but it also means house prices may go up in that time.

This is true - lots of people are waiting longer but it's not guaranteed.

They don't have an average income. This is a fact not a criticism.
They are both on the minimum wage of around £25Kpa .

The average (median) salary is £37K.