DH not including me in conversation

[KPPlumbing]

I'd like to hear your perspectives on this, as I've just lost my shit at DH.

He often has random work-related associates round to the house for an after work drink. Great.

He likes me to join them. I'm a sociable person, so I do. He then consistently makes ZERO effort to include me in a single bit of conversation. There's no "How was your day?" or "How was the gym?" or "Oh, it's interesting that you mention that, because KPPlumbing does that for a hobby too". Just...anything.

I can chat to anyone, and can always force my way in to any conversation, which I do.

But I just tore DH a new one about the fact he wants me to join them, and then doesn't make any attempt to bring me into the conversation. I said I won't bother again and will leave him to it.

Do I have a point?

Asking about your day or the gym in a group conversation seems incredibly awkward?
Aren’t you just naturally in the conversation by being part of it?

Losing your shit and tearing him a new arsehole sounds a bit dramatic.

You could've just said 'no thanks, it's boring.'

Yes you have a point, a very good point.

Sounds pretty disrespectful and self absorbed of him.

You think it's awkward for someone to literally walk in having been at the gym, and for their partner to ask "Oh hey, how was the gym?" I don't.

Are you asking questions and interacting, or waiting to be included?

Yes, I wouldn't embarrass him infront of work contacts, but did want to say "Well, youre not making any effort to include me, so I'll leave you to it". I will leave them to it next time.

You do have a point. Leave him to his friends. Sounds boring anyway.

I'm asking questions and shooting the shit. I can do that with anyone.

I'd just like to not have to fight my way in. It would be nice for him to actively include me, as I do when the shoe is on the other foot.

You sound incredibly angry right now OP.

How many drinks did you have?

What you describe can be fairly annoying but losing your shit and tearing him a new one?

Yes, it's mainly dull bloody industry chat anyway. I won't bother again.

Haha, one beer and I'm not that angry!

Just make sure you attend work when it’s snowing OP or the boss will be furious 😁

Why does he like you to join them then? To look pretty? To serve them drinks?

if he actively shushes you that’s one thing but if you find the tone boring or few avenues to chime in if it’s all clients, deals and widgets, I’d just keep it breezy with a oh I’ve got xyz on, nice seeing you.

why would you join in more than once or twice? Thats the only part that I see as unreasonable. He wants you there but not included in the conversation ?

nah. Don’t do that.

🤣

He wants me to join because he thinks I'm cool, and I'm able to chat to people! I just wish he made more effort, and all of the effort didn't have to come from me

Yes exactly, I've well and truly spotted a pattern now, so will give it a swerve next time.

"He often has random work-related associates round to the house for an after work drink."

Am I the only one who thinks that's weird?

Haha, he's a subcontractor, so works with all kinds of people, all over the place. If he likes someone and they happen to be working close to our house, and that person would otherwise just be alone in digs all evening, he invites them round for a drink. It's really rather normal.

Does he call you over like "come and join us"?
Or has he'd said before "hi when I have work colleagues around for drinks I want you to join us?"

I think if he calls you over then asking wouldn't be weird but if you walk over and join in then asking how the gym was would be a bit weird

He calls me over and says "Come and have a drink with us".

Do you actually want to have a drink with these random strangers in your house?

Personally, it's my idea of hell.

OP come on! You've seen this before surely?!

A beautiful woman by his side when a man wants to seem successful?
You're arm candy as many phrase it. Not there to be heard but be seen.
A man always feels more confident if there's a beautiful woman next to him, that's what you are.

It's harsh but unfortunately true in many cases. I hope I'm wrong but question your DH, tell him to have something in common with boss/business partner and want to chat about it, see his response.

Yes! Like I said, I'm sociable. And if I've worked at home all day, I'm up for a drink and a chat. They tend to be nice guys. It would just be nice to have DH make some effort to include me, as I do with him when the shoe is on the other foot.

As in, ackowledging your arrival, stopping the convo with TedFromWork to say " Hey, KP, here's TedFromWork. Ted, you remember KP? Ted and me were just chatting about XYZ but let me get you a drink while you catch up with Ted..." sort of thing?

Instead of ignoring the littke lady and treating her like audience while The Menz talk?