DH not including me in conversation

[KPPlumbing]

I'd like to hear your perspectives on this, as I've just lost my shit at DH.

He often has random work-related associates round to the house for an after work drink. Great.

He likes me to join them. I'm a sociable person, so I do. He then consistently makes ZERO effort to include me in a single bit of conversation. There's no "How was your day?" or "How was the gym?" or "Oh, it's interesting that you mention that, because KPPlumbing does that for a hobby too". Just...anything.

I can chat to anyone, and can always force my way in to any conversation, which I do.

But I just tore DH a new one about the fact he wants me to join them, and then doesn't make any attempt to bring me into the conversation. I said I won't bother again and will leave him to it.

Do I have a point?

Yes exactly this.

Then just let The Menz talk.

As you arrive home, "Hi, TedFromWork, alright?"

Then get on with your own thing. Your DH sounds socially inept in this respect. If he insists you join him, tell him no unless he ups his game.

I'm in a more senior position than my husband, out earn him, and have tonnes to say. I'd be surprised if i was there for eye candy. But...sigh...perhaps thats what it boils down to after all.

Yes I've told him this in no uncertain terms!

A power game? Making himself look superior?

No he's not like that at all.

Yet he ignores you? Makes you feel as if you’re not there?

It feels like the pleasantries of conversation as a couple wouldn't really fit with a group.

So 'how was your day?' etc isn't including others and the response wouldn't interest them. It's better just to go with the flow and chat about more general stuff and just accept that you and him can have a private convo later on.

But it's totally fair to not feel inclined to join in if you don't want to. It's also fine to say if sometimes it's not convenient for these friends to come round.

Bloody Sheila and her driveway!