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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

It’s just theft isn’t it?

111 replies

HiRen · 23/06/2025 17:34

Am back in the UK for my annual summer break. Just back from the supermarket. Stood behind a pretty old (going to guess at least 80yo) woman who was weighing fennel in the veggies aisle, to get a barcoded sticker that she could self-scan. She did one sticker, then a second, then a third. I moved over to the right a step, intending to lean over to offer help (I’m crap with tech, reasonable assumption she might be too). Immediately clocked she was holding the fennel up a bit, ie semi-lifting it off the scales. Then I watched her select “potatoes” on her fourth attempt. Saw her do it again on her fifth attempt - she’d lifted the fennel higher.

Basically, she was deciding what she wanted to pay for the fennel. She left four stickers behind, all decreasing in price, all for potatoes.

I’m normally all for being empathetic towards people on a budget, especially a fixed budget like an pension, and I know about the col crisis. But this was fennel, in Waitrose. She was LOADED with gold jewelry and had a small LV crossbody bag. She can afford 98p (the fifth sticker price) for a bulb of fennel. It made me half want to tell someone on my way out to double check her shopping scan.

No AIBU I suppose. I’m just properly cross. This isn’t the 80s anymore. Things cost more than they used to. Fennel shouldn’t be expensive - but it is. That’s how it is for everyone, and for more essential stuff than bloody vegetables. They don’t steal. She was blatantly stealing, and it was the repeated effort, and the sneakiness and slyness in the way she did it that made me so cross.

OP posts:
FutureCatMum · 23/06/2025 17:36

This has nothing to do with you. Move on with your life.

Dangermoo · 23/06/2025 17:36

🍿

FaceHimDown · 23/06/2025 17:41

FutureCatMum · 23/06/2025 17:36

This has nothing to do with you. Move on with your life.

No, you’re wrong. It does have to do with the other customers who end up footing the bill for this.

OP can choose that she hasn’t got time for escalating today, but it is theft, and people choosing to not “move on” are not the problem, as much as thieves and their apologists (that’s you) try to pretend they are.

HiRen · 23/06/2025 17:41

Oh my. If many people are doing this, of course it has something to do with me as it means prices go up for everyone! And why the popcorn?

Do you think this stuff is ok?!

OP posts:
FaceHimDown · 23/06/2025 17:42

Dangermoo · 23/06/2025 17:36

🍿

Totally, now I wish I hadn’t posted my last reply.

BreadInCaptivity · 23/06/2025 17:45

FutureCatMum · 23/06/2025 17:36

This has nothing to do with you. Move on with your life.

Actually it does as food theft raises prices for everyone.

In this case it’s especially galling as you are hardly desperate in the first place if you’re buying fennel from Waitrose.

I would have spoken to security tbh.

Middletoleft · 23/06/2025 17:45

Stand beside her and watch with interest making it obvious that you're watching. I've seen this sort of thing happen at the self service checkout where something doesn't scan and the person sticks it in the bag regardless.

It's 50/50 whether someone is embarrassed or as brash as fuck.

AFingerofFudge · 23/06/2025 17:46

Agreed it’s pretty rubbish behaviour. DS1 was telling me that at the weekend him and some friends went to a Waitrose to get some snacks and he was waiting for his friends the other side of the self checkouts. He clocked a bloke enter the self serve checkout area with a box of beer under each arm, do a couple of laps of the area and then leave without paying. He did tell the security guard standing next to him, but the security guard was too busy chatting on his phone which was in his top pocket, barely acknowledged DS1 and did nothing.

Genevieva · 23/06/2025 17:47

Stealing is wrong. One of the first things children learn about when they are tiny is the concept of mine and yours. Arguably all crimes boil down to theft of one sort or another. So yes - she knew what she was doing was wrong and you have every right to be shocked and disappointed by it. I wouldn’t have noticed, but if I had I probably would have said something along the lines of ‘let me help you - you’ve selected the wrong vegetable. There you are.’ And helped her on her way with the correctly priced sticker.

Lostcat · 23/06/2025 17:48

Ohh mind your own honestly 🙄.

Maybe they can put cashiers back in supermarkets if the companies are bothered by this - but presumably they can’t be arsed to pay for the staff.

Boredlass · 23/06/2025 17:49

When I worked in Sainsbury’s I saw a woman open mixed size eggs and rearrange a box of them so they were all larger eggs. Must've opened about 6 of them

LittlleMy · 23/06/2025 17:52

Lostcat · 23/06/2025 17:48

Ohh mind your own honestly 🙄.

Maybe they can put cashiers back in supermarkets if the companies are bothered by this - but presumably they can’t be arsed to pay for the staff.

Yes let’s everyone just mind their own business because we don’t care if anti social shoppers go unchallenged resulting in constantly increased prices for the law abiding 👍

ThatSchoolOfficeLady · 23/06/2025 17:55

Lostcat · 23/06/2025 17:48

Ohh mind your own honestly 🙄.

Maybe they can put cashiers back in supermarkets if the companies are bothered by this - but presumably they can’t be arsed to pay for the staff.

Shoplifting isn't a result of new technology. Shoplifting goes waaaay back to the beginning of self service shops.

GreenCandleWax · 23/06/2025 18:00

FutureCatMum · 23/06/2025 17:36

This has nothing to do with you. Move on with your life.

It has plenty to do with OP as she is a Waitrose customer who will eventually be paying more for groceries because of people like this. And it should be to do with all of us if we see someone acting dishonestly.

PandoraSocks · 23/06/2025 18:00

Blimey, that's pretty inventive.

Dangermoo · 23/06/2025 18:05

LittlleMy · 23/06/2025 17:52

Yes let’s everyone just mind their own business because we don’t care if anti social shoppers go unchallenged resulting in constantly increased prices for the law abiding 👍

Yes, but only if they are an 80 year old woman, with a cross body LV bag and of course it just had to Waitrose.🙄

HiRen · 23/06/2025 18:05

Lostcat · 23/06/2025 17:48

Ohh mind your own honestly 🙄.

Maybe they can put cashiers back in supermarkets if the companies are bothered by this - but presumably they can’t be arsed to pay for the staff.

I don’t understand this response. She’s stealing, from somewhere other people shop. Of course it’s the business of other shoppers.

Society is organized here based on laws and the rule of law. If everybody minded their own business, there would be no juries in courts of law. Just what are you suggesting? That people be left to commit crimes? I’m not suggesting vigilantism.

OP posts:
myheadsjustmush · 23/06/2025 18:06

I'm with you OP.

And it does affect everyone (well, those honest people who actually pay for their goods). The costs are passed on one way or another.

I've heard shoplifters justify their actions by saying, "I only take stuff from the big stores, because they can afford it - I never target the smaller shops" 🙄

It's theft, pure and simple. 😡

Dangermoo · 23/06/2025 18:08

HiRen · 23/06/2025 18:05

I don’t understand this response. She’s stealing, from somewhere other people shop. Of course it’s the business of other shoppers.

Society is organized here based on laws and the rule of law. If everybody minded their own business, there would be no juries in courts of law. Just what are you suggesting? That people be left to commit crimes? I’m not suggesting vigilantism.

Why was her age relevant?

Gnarab24 · 23/06/2025 18:08

Mumsnet is hilarious.
shoplifting? Ignore it
bad teeth? You should resign from your job right now because no one will take you seriously.

GaryAvisFanClub · 23/06/2025 18:09

"I only take stuff from the big stores, because they can afford it - I never target the smaller shops"

They can afford it because they pass it onto us.

You're completely right, OP. I don't tend to feel cross about this stuff because life's too short but it is theft.

HiRen · 23/06/2025 18:09

Dangermoo · 23/06/2025 18:05

Yes, but only if they are an 80 year old woman, with a cross body LV bag and of course it just had to Waitrose.🙄

No, not only. And even if it were “only” why should 80yo women with crossbody LV bags be spared? That’s literally what she was (obvs don’t know exact age but thereabouts): that’s the bag she had, she jangled her bracelets and had two necklaces on, it was a Waitrose in a London suburb where every other car is a Range Rover or Mercedes. And she wouldn’t pay 98p for a bulb of fennel!

OP posts:
AutumnLeaves91 · 23/06/2025 18:10

I mean, seems a bit pointless (and weird) for you to be so hung up on this in my opinion. Move on for your own sake.

HiRen · 23/06/2025 18:10

Dangermoo · 23/06/2025 18:08

Why was her age relevant?

It’s no more relevant than any of the other details. I mentioned it because (1) I thought she was struggling with the tech - my mum isn’t far off 80 and she struggles (2) I told myself maybe she’s on a fixed pension.

OP posts:
Dangermoo · 23/06/2025 18:11

HiRen · 23/06/2025 18:09

No, not only. And even if it were “only” why should 80yo women with crossbody LV bags be spared? That’s literally what she was (obvs don’t know exact age but thereabouts): that’s the bag she had, she jangled her bracelets and had two necklaces on, it was a Waitrose in a London suburb where every other car is a Range Rover or Mercedes. And she wouldn’t pay 98p for a bulb of fennel!

They could all have been fake. Her age is irrelevant.