To want a singalong in my (civil!) wedding ceremony?

[ThisMustBeMyDream]

I can't decide if this is weird, or genius!
I'm having a civil wedding ceremony. At a religious wedding, hymns are sung. So, at mine I'd love to choose a song that the vast majority of guests will know (and I'd provide the lyrics anyway!) to sing along to!
If you'd enjoy this, what song would you go with as a fun, but still fitting for a wedding, tune?

I went to a wedding where this happened it was unbelievably cringe for all involved… half hearted singing from people who wanted to do anything but.

There is not enough bleach

save yourself and don’t google it

I suspect this is one of those questions where you need to know 'the crowd'.

I've been to weddings where most people are regular Church goers and would not bat an eyelid at being asked to sing during the ceremony, because that is what traditionally happens at Church weddings (as well as regular Sunday services) so it wouldn't seem strange. Ditto where there are a large number of people aged 60+, as most of us would have been to wedding when we were young, and, even if not Church goers, would associate weddings with singing hymns. I don't think singing a secular song need be that different. However, I've also been to weddings where I suspect the overwhelming majority of people haven't been asked to sing together since their Reception Nativity play, and I don't think such a request would have gone well there at all.

I've been to a few weddings where people have done this (as a guest and whilst working), and while the idea always sounds nice the impact isn't generally great.

People usually sing with all the gusto of being back at school in a class assembly or something. A lot of moving mouths with no sound coming out, and the ones making noise aren't all getting to the final of The Voice...

Unless you've got a room full of thespians and drama students I would probably avoid it - imagine taking the barely-half-hearted attempts at hymns in your local church and transplanting that into your wedding ceremony.😖

But of course, as with all wedding-related ones - do whatever you want!

The thing about hymns (at least, traditional ones) is that they are very easy to sing even if you don't know them, as they are really predictable. Pop songs can be quite difficult, even if people think they know them. I think if you're doing this you probably want a group of friends who are good at singing to get together and more or less do a performance, while encouraging everyone else to sing along. That way, you'll have a decent rendition of the song(s) whether other guests sing or not.

I like this idea but do get a proper singer to lead the way and be prepared for everyone to be a bit shit

My friend did it in her civil ceremony with Bring me Sunshine and that worked - it was easy to sing along with, a bit of fun and the right group of people.

You can always do a hymn after the civil part is over. I've been to a wedding that did that.

Are you going to warn people in advance?

I would absolutely HATE this and would not attend. (anxiety issues) I have a real phobia about singing and dancing and have never done either so have managed to avoid such occasions all my life.

Do the people who are saying they would hate it and not want to attend never go to church weddings? Because they always have singing. And people usually just mumble along quietly if they don't really want to sing. How is this different?

I have never been to a wedding, church or otherwise

I'm sorry to hear that. I imagine it makes life quite difficult sometimes.

Definitely "Bring Me Sunshine".

Everyone knows it, it's such a happy song and the sentiment is perfect for a couple starting life together.

I now want to get married again so I can do this.

I've been to a civil ceremony where we were all handed the words of Let There Be Love by Nat King Cole, which seemed lovely in theory. In practice it was a terrible mumble, despite everyone having the words and limped through to the end, it was a total cringe fest.

If you're going to do it, choose something rousing and lively, that everyone knows, and pre-warn and nominate a several people who can lead the way and cover any gaps if people don't show much gusto.

I'm a wedding registrar for civil weddings. I've had this a few times, and these are my thoughts.

• You need to consider the backing music- is someone playing an instrument, or you using music from a streaming service, or with no music at all? You may need to test the sound levels. Does the venue allow singing? (if for example, you are in a registry office, the noise might interrupt other weddings going on at the same time, depending on the number of guests you have and the volume they create).
• Whatever music you choose, make it short. If it's the registry office, you might only have a set amount of time for the entire wedding, and it would be a shame to miss out or have to cut another part of the ceremony.
• Some people will sing, some people will be mortified. Either way the registrars will have to stand there awkwardly waiting for everyone to finish before they can carry on with the ceremony.
• Personally, and this is only my individual choice, I would do any singing parts after the legal ceremony and during the celebration part (particularly easier when people have a drink in their hands!)

I don't live in the UK, but I've never been to a wedding where the audience has joined in for a singalong during the ceremony. It sounds awful and cringeworthy to me!

I would love this op.

It must be a cultural thing. I’m not in the UK and have never been to a wedding where the guests sang.

I don’t necessarily hate the idea, but some of the songs suggested here seem nothing short of bonkers for a wedding. I can’t decide if you’re all being sarcastic/ironic or just having a laugh.

It's not the 'norm' for a civil ceremony in the UK, that's why OP is asking, but it's definitely the norm to sing hymns in a church wedding.

I hadn't realised other cultures didn't have an equivalent.

I'm not into singalongs so I wouldn't be doing this.

"Definitely "Bring Me Sunshine". Everyone knows it,"

Never heard of it so not everyone.

If you have the right soundtrack they will spontaneously sing along without the awkwardness of it being just them.

My sister had 500 miles (Proclaimers), it was absolutely amazing. Agree that you need a couple of people to lead it though - my BIL has some people with good voices who he primed to get it going - but when it did, it was Epic.

I should clarify that it was a very informal ceremony from start to finish. Might not be the right choice for some venues.

I love singing hymns, one of the reasons I opted for a church wedding (it’s also cheaper than a hotel or fancy venue). If choosing a secular song the trick is to make sure that the notes are in a range most people can sing in their octave of choice (a3 to c4 ish is achieved by most) and easy to follow if you don’t know it - that’s the beauty of hymns, so easy to sing, at least traditional ones. Having at least a few people who can sing to lead it helps or use a backing track with words

I don’t think a phobia of singing is that unusual but you must have been to a church service at some point. What did you do then? Singing is not compulsory.

You absolutely can not do a religious hymn after the ceremony in a civil venue