To think horse riding is too dangerous?

[bellav]

DD10 developed a sudden love for horses after we read War Horse together last autumn.

She has asked for riding lessons and as yet we have said no due to cost but we had secretly planned to get her a few for her birthday next month.

But I have now got cold feet after reading stories on here about serious injuries and even deaths among riders doing mundane things like riding indoors in "safe" conditions.

One article linked said it is more dangerous than riding a motorbike, with a serious accident every 350 hours vs 7000. I know many of these are from cross-country etc, but I can't help worry about the ones that aren't.

AIBU to not want to start down this path?

Do you ride?

It can’t be more dangerous than trampolining or rugby. A&E is always full of those two.
I say let her go horse riding, she will definitely fall off at least once, like riding a bike, but she’ll probably start on a fat lazy little pony so it won’t be far to fall.
But it’s a sport that gives girls a feeling of great power being able to control a horse, which is a big strong animal. It’s very good for self confidence once you get it.

I used to ride as a kid, fell off a few times, but only broke my arm once after riding a young horse for the first time. I do carriage driving now, a little safer in my opinion as I'm sitting on a separate vehicle behind the horse with reins to control them. I don't need to try and keep my balance in the saddle.

I have ridden since 5, on and off. Off on a hack today and I’m just the right side of 60.

I have broken my arm once riding- whilst falling off a walking horse - my friend landed on me. We used to do insane things as such teenagers, like jump bareback with only a head collar on the horse.

I had a worse break messing around doing a cartwheel btw - that one was a serious break. The horse fall was straightforward.

I’m more cautious now & have recently invested in my first body protector although I only wear it while hacking.

I attend an excellent riding school now - which is as safe as it can be. Yes it has its risks, but a lot of things in life worth doing have risks. And being around manageable risk (a lot of horse riding involves manageable risk - even though there is some non-manageable) makes you responsible. In a world where kids are growing up too anxious to be able to navigate the actual adult world horse riding can be a bolster against that.

I feel safer horse riding than I do riding my bike on a main road.

If your daughter really wants to ride she’ll find a way to do it - and she may as well start young and develop a natural seat 😁

If you ride horses you have to accept you will fall off....it's just how it is. But the vast majority of falls riders just dust off and get back on again. A good BHS riding school, beginners lead rein pony, helper next to her, hat, body protector she would be very low risk.
Frantically googling stats and injuries isn't really helpful. Either ride or don't ride.... but don't come to the yard an ball of wound up anxiety over it. It's not fair on your daughter or the staff.
I've been that pony mad little girl for now over 40 years. It's a skill, a sanctuary for my mental health, a social circle, the only exercise that never feels hard. "When in doubt lean back and kick on" has served me well as an approach to/mantra for life.
I adore my Fat Cob, he's a dude. I know if I do have an accident on him, it likely won't be his fault. He doesn't want his Mum to come off. It will be the sublime or the ridiculous which will get me. Cant plan for those unfortunately.

These pictures are what you and your daughter will get from riding. I have ridden my entire life and seeing my son love his pony melts my heart.

If she gets the bug then it’s for life. We have a pony and my son adores her and caring for her. He mucks out, sweeps, grooms, feeds and occasionally rides. He is also my hacking buddy and scooters alongside (our pony is still a baby and was only backed in spring).

The joy is absolutely immense and our pony LOVES my son. She’s always sad when it’s just me that arrives!

if you can afford the lessons then please book them. If you can’t, then don’t as it seems a little unfair if she gets the big and then has it taken away.

To further add, my son also does stunt scootering and that is far more scary than him being around horses!

Yes, horse riding is a risky sport - but so are lots of other sports too.

I have been horse mad ever since I can remember. Mum and dad paid for weekly horse riding lessons for me, which I loved. Then I had a fall; the pony bolted and I came off. Nothing broken, but very shaken up. The next week I was back in the saddle again.

I have since had my own horses, and also too many falls to remember. I have also had immense fun over the years.

Let your daughter try it. She may love it, she may hate it. If she wants to carry on when it is freezing cold and raining then you will have a horse mad little girl!

Any horsey person will tell you they are fantastic for your wellbeing - but your bank account is a different matter altogether 😂

I think it was something a little more adventurous but we never really discussed how it actually happened.

I know it can be scary. But I also think that huge numbers of people ride and have no issues. Everything has risk, crossing the road, flying, sports, even sitting at hime and doing nothing. We just have to minimise those risks as much as possible while still allowing our children to live their lives to the full.

I remember when I was learning as a kid in the 1990s, body protectors weren't really a thing then for normal riding, just riding hats and that's it really. But the enjoyment outweighed the risks.

Op i don't think it matters.

It doesn't matter what sport you get involved with there are risks.
You could ask should I let my DD ride a bike or scooter you could guarantee that someone will have a horror story of a kid getting hurt.

I really do think you should let her try. Even if it's a block of lessons for birthday or Christmas.
As a single working adult i couldn't afford more than a lesson a week but by the time I could afford more I met DH and kids came along so I didn't have time to ride more or get involved with a horse share.

Don't let irrational fear get in the way of a good thing.

My daughter rode from about 7. Own pony from 10. She had a couple of falls when jumping but had a safety waistcoat on and wasn't hurt.
She was more hurt, taking a tumble skiing!!
Do we stop all fun activities because they might get hurt?!
I ride, I ski ....... my worst injury was falling during gymnastics when I was 11 ........ so should we stop that too?

Oh and the love / bond between my daughter and her pony was incredible. Pony gave my daughter (and me) so much love and joy. Also gives a child a sense of responsibility and having to know the right feed etc. I used to sit in my car with my baby whilst watching my daughter muck out, bring her pony in, sort feed etc when she was 10. Obviously ready to step in if needed.
I'm small enough to ride her too. It was heartbreaking when we had to retire her.

In the nicest possible OP, asking about specific accidents to validate (or not) whether your idea that horse riding is dangerous is not really going to help you make a rational decision. Someone will always have a story that finishes with ‘and they died’ no matter what you are talking about. If you are worried about horse riding lessons, wait until they start driving. The ways a 17 year old can come to harm are terrifying and endless. I look back fondly on the days they were little and falling off ponies was all I had to worry about!

my DD now 29 and 30 went down the riding route, I was ok with riding lessons at a school which was what I had, but said no to having their own ponies bavause they cost a fortune and take up all your free time and then some. My now late DH foolishly found them a little pony at the farm behind us one night up at the pub around 2004 and here we are 21 years later with a scruffy house and garden, 6 ponies and a little yard down the road from the house, a fabulous bunch of horsey friends and I wouldn't change a thing really. The ponies taught my DDs about risk assessment, being good losers, being good team players, not always putting themselves first and a whole load of other stuff I can't quite remember now. I wouldn't change a thing really. Yes they've fallen off a few times, that's a rite of passage. Injuries limited to a broken wrist each and bumps and bruises. All hobbies are expensive!

The trouble is, it doesn’t always work like that. My friend was killed in a freak accident out riding her horse in walk. Massive head injury,
Yet I know people who have had crashing falls out eventing- horses landed on them etc and they walked away unscathed.

I had a life changing injury/ disability from riding. But I still wouldn’t tell anyone else not to ride because of that. There is risk from everything and frankly I think googling risk levels shows your anxiety is super high, so please don’t let it restrict what your dd gets to do in life

She'll be OK, OP! Like with a lot of things, you only hear the fairly rare horror stories. You never hear of the millions of people who have been horse-riding safely forever. If she goes to a good, registered riding school, and is wearing a riding hat, then she'll be fine. They'll put her on a good pony for beginners and build up her confidence and experience from there.

I started learning at a riding school at 4. I had a near miss at coming off in my teens (a deer shot out unexpectedly and made my horse jump), but that's it. I started learning carriage driving in my 20s and my mother considers that to be more dangerous, but I still do it!

Just don't buy her a horse. They will unwittingly suck up all of your time and money. A friend has had to "let herself go" as she doesn't have the time or money to so much as get her eyebrows done these days 😁

With the threads which are an echo chamber of something being terribly dangerous I always like to keep this kind of thing in mind: https://www.cartoonshateher.com/p/does-everyone-on-reddit-have-ocd

The lessons that your daughter your daughter has booked will be very entry level and likely to be on a pony who knows exactly what its doing with a qualified instructor. She's not going to be going cross country or jumping high jumps anytime soon.

My daughter is 18yrs in a couple of weeks and has been riding horses for years, her first job was in a riding stables. The training she had working at the stables was excellent, she learnt a lot about Health & Safety around horses which really grounded her. On the back of that commitment we agreed to her having a loan horse, then she went on riding residentials, then the loan horse got upgraded etc.....

Yes she's had falls and injuries but she wears a body protector and a professionally fitted hat. As parents we know what the risks are and we have been over and over them with her. She's know not to ride in heavy winds or when its very hot or when the ambulances are on strike etc. And the upside of this is unlike a like a lot of her cohort at school she barely drinks or goes out late so she can continue to get up for the horses.

Looks like most people think IABU. I guess I need to work on my anxiety then. I guess I just feel like it's not a necessary day-to-day thing like driving a car and so why take the risk. Thanks, everyone.

Good luck, OP. Just an idea, but could you not have lessons too? It might take some of the anxiety away. My Mum started riding in her late 40s and she’d never even sat on a horse before then. She never did any kind of jumping but liked hacking out.

I really do have to keep on top of my anxiety like you OP, and I really feel a lot of your words @bellav .

My mum rode extensively, had a big gap and now rides again. My mum couldn't afford lessons for me when I was a child plus we lived in a town but I learnt as an adult and I think because of that, I never really 'got the bug' like her, despite loving horses.

Then I moved to the countryside, my own DDs came along and I could afford lessons. They started having the odd lesson here and there from the age of about 7/8 and rode friends ponies. When they were early teens, after years of begging, we lost our minds and bought two ponies. For me it was head Vs heart and my heart won. Husband didn't object nearly as much as he should have 😅

It was perfect for us as we have lots of access to safe, beautiful hacking. Personally I wouldn't have even considered buying if we couldn't keep them at home. It's expensive enough as it is!

A few falls but nothing requiring medical attention but my youngest dd is wild. She thinks nothing of bareback galloping. The sheer exhilaration on their faces is incomparable and yes, I suppose I am a little envious, I have never had that myself but I'm so glad they have experienced the sheer joy and freedom of riding.

Cost of riding/owning is as much of a concern as falling off!

We're now in learning to drive territory, I hope you can get a handle on your nerves OP because trotting round on a pony ain't nothing compared with seeing your baby drive off in a glorified tin can! ❤️

According to ex-drug tzar, Prof. David Nutt, she's safer taking ecstasy tablets.

@bellav you said you rode as a child.
Did something happen that you lost confidence? Or that turned you of riding?

Yes it's dangerous, a horse has a mind of it's own and as such can be unpredictable. Does that stop me riding? Absolutely not as I love it.
Let your daughter ride.