Really irritated with this girls mother.

[Balloonhearts]

More of a vent than anything.

I work at a riding school who do weekend pony clubs in the summer, and a longer one over the holidays.

We match the riders to their ponies based on height, weight and experience/temperament.

One of my group is very overweight. Three stone heavier than her mother said she is on her form. She cannot ride the pony assigned to her or any of the ponies. She needs a horse. Which would have been fine if we knew when she booked.

Now I'm desperately trying to find a suitable mount before the 3 o clock hack so I don't have to tell this sweet girl that she is unable to go on the hack due to her weight.

WHY do people do this? Just be honest ffs! If we had the right numbers, she would have been given one of the horses but now there is no one suitable left.

You have to think of the horses welfare. The mum should be aware of that and not just think of her child.

I took it to mean wobbly as a beginner not wobbly through being fat!

When riding you have do update at least 3/4 times a year your weight and height to match the horse to child!
be honest and say to mother!

Horse people know when someone is too big or heavy for a known horse.

Had similar when a mother informed us of her child weight for a class party where the children was using Zorbing balls on a lake. Luckily we found out before the party. The company handled it well by telling the girl it had ‘run out’ of child size balls and as she was the tallest left ( the two girls talker was already assigned a ball) she had to use an adult one.
Very difficult as the mother couldn’t understand her daughter had a weight issue.

OP you have handled this amazingly well. I’m frustrated on your behalf and by the number of commentators who have immediately jumped to “don’t fat shame a child”. I completely agree with this- kids should not be fat shamed. However, the parent of the child should be discreetly taken to one side and told in no uncertain terms that they jeopardised the whole hack and ran very close to their own child being extremely disappointed and potentially humiliated. This situation should not have arisen and it is on the parent. Huge kudos to you for being compassionate and enterprising.

YABU, as I don’t think you need to tell the little one the reason at all! Yes, speak with the mum privately or send an email, but why do you consider telling the kid?

It’s always the parent. They have no clue. Thank you for being so kind to the girl. Pony weekends are brilliant

Oh please!

I think its very hard to find a horse who can carry anyone over about 280lbs. Finding a riding school who have one is even harder.

If you're not using humorous sarcasm, that's quite a nasty puerile comment which is also of no help whatsoever to OP.
If you are, then I apologise.

Weigh her. Just say you don't have a suitable mount. Book her back in on another ride. Safety first - for horse and rider.

I'm sorry for laughing but this is hilarious. You write very well too.

I'm glad the girl was spared any embarrassment and got to ride the giant.

Well done OP .. you sorted an awkward situation brilliantly.
As the mother of daughters who did a school based pony club I can confirm that some mothers take it oh so seriously.
My girls used to ride with a girl who just hated it; she was terrified. Turns out that her mother had wanted to ride as a child and was now giving her daughter all the opportunities she herself didn’t have.
On several occasions I ended up with a bruised arm when said mother grabbed me when her child was jumping.

Ahh, Op, I really love the way you write - humour, empathy, real love for your subject. Beautiful.

You handled the initial issue so well, and I bet that child feels amazing for having been able to ride an absolutely massive horse! I always got given the “spirited” horses when I had riding lessons so it always felt great when they actually did what they are supposed to 😂

You need to have a "quiet word" with her mother and explain you have weight restrictions. Obviously a tricky situation but it's a H&S issue too. You need to make the mum understand that you need to take the health of your horses into consideration

‘Break’?? A horse is a living, sentient being, not a fucking chair!! 😡

What you should have done was maybe tied her to a long rope and then make her jog along behind the hack. After a few days of that she'd be down to riding weight.
Problem solved.

I’m sure riding for the disabled would be very happy to have your services to help with the myriad of yard duties. That way you get lots of equine interaction and the satisfaction of helping others.

Great work, OP! You did some grand problem solving with compassion at its core.

I very much enjoyed this thread, thank you! A nice change from the norm.

Meanwhile, more than 48 hours after the OP explained how she knew the child's weight, there are still the usual self-righteous people who haven't even read her second post (21/06/2025 at 15:35).

I learned to ride on a gentle giant of a horse, who knew to behave himself with the nervous. Bakhit was a lovely animal and really helpful! Then, because I am featherweight, they moved me to a much smaller animal who had been out of action for a while. It all went well until the day she decided to take off at speed, hopping sideways over a ditch into the road, and hurtling back to the stables. There she ran twice round the yard, with me clinging to her mane, before throwing me. One of the stable-lads (army) said "Oh, she's obviously feeling a lot better!" I was fine, but never rode again.

Riding for the disabled would be very grateful and it’s so much fun.

An owner of a stables once told me to come back when I eaten fewer lunches.

This was by email so I never got to meet her but fair play to her for protecting her horses.

Good on you for not overworking yours too. I still feel guilty about some of the horses I rode that looked tired at schools.

I work at a riding school and this happens a lot - we have scales in reception and a height chart and we ask them to weigh themselves in reception with riding gear on… our limit is 12 stone as we have no ‘weight carrier’ type horses and only a limited number that can carry 12 stone. It’s a welfare issue for horses, and we make it part of the registration process with a yearly recall to get them to update their height and weight.

What?
Are you unable to guess childs weight by 20kg if you have one number?
I could not guess between 120 and 140kg but 40 and 60 or 50 and 70? Yup unless you are blind.