Hell is a terraced house with a hot tub, bar and outdoor tv.

[SorbetSarnie]

Or more accurately, hell is what I'm going through living next door to this abominable set up.

Family from hell moved in not that long ago. Drunken pot smoking father who attended a house party in the mid 90's and apparently never left, a wife who to be fair seems like she's lost the will to live or smile, and an assortment of teenagers who like to invite all their mates round and shout about dildos and cumming in people's eyes.

The garden has slowly morphed into something resembling a butlins, which is fairly impressive as we all only have narrow postage stamp gardens. It started with a hot tub, progressed to an outdoor bar, and has culminated this weekend in some sort of wooden shack thing made of fences with a tin roof, housing an outdoor television.

The second the sun comes out it is thumping tunes ALL day, which to be fair sometimes gets turned down a little at 11 pm. Unfortunately tonight it has now been replaced by some shitty action movie being loudly played in the garden, as the family members converse in their usual dulcet yells. Must have affected their hearing with all that drum and bass.

Yes, we have tried talking to them. The father seemed to indicate through grunts that he had understood my attempt at communication with a primitive life form, however we were then treated to angle grinding in the street regularly for a few nights, as he loudly complained about the 'stuck up bitch next door' and proclaimed that I'd be 'having that'.

No, I currently can't move. I'm working on it but realistically not going to be any time soon. I'd imagine the house would be a hard sell at the moment too, most prospective owners would run a mile.

I guess I just wanted to rant, I'm so tired. I've actually found myself on the brink of tears a few times tonight, mainly from frustration. They went away last week and it was wonderful. The entire estate was practically silent, just the usual buzz of every day life going on made me really appreciate just what loud obnoxious bastards they are.

It's funny when you see English home improvement shows and they build an outside bar. We don't even have them in New Zealand and our summers are longer and our sections are traditionally larger. I just don't get the point really.

doesn't work on everybody, more likey to work on young people https://mosquitoloiteringsolutions.com

I agree with you. Those people are unhinged and talking to them would only trigger their aggression. Only yesterday I knocked on neighbours door to asked if they’ve noticed a leaked coming out from their flat and I was met with a lot of swearing and shouting. It’s crazy how some people cant be civil.

Do you have a neighbourhood association? Or could you start one?

Good plan!
(waves cheerily @RedToothBrush)

Please report to your local council. I did with my neighbour and the noise is very infrequent now. It took a few attempts, but the neighbours got the message in the end.

Aw I feel for you op, it only takes 1 bad neighbour to ruin a whole estate and make it miserable. recently had one move in near me, they're not particularly noisy but are very scruffy , front garden looks like the rubbish tip, leave rubbish bags out with the bins on bin day which the bin men won't take. bin bags end up ripped open by wildlife and rubbish ends up all over the street. they've been reported for his but nothing has changed.
They also smoke cannabis all day every day which smells so strong, even while she's holding the baby.
the street has really declined in the last 18 months that she's lived here.

There's an advert atm showing people outdoors having a party watching Glasto on TV....brace yourselves! They will probably be trying to recreate the festival experience in their back garden. Whoop whoop!

I wonder if you can use a catapult to land a dirt bomb in their hot tub. This is against the law but if they were that bad I wouldn't care.

Classical music is the way to go. It may actually calm them down! You could be really mean and play Mahler (miserable load of tripe)
I favour learning the trumpet like one previous poster said plus the drums if you so desire.
I'd also take up swearing in your garden there is nothing more embarrassing according to my adult DC.
Failing that ask your partner in a very loud voice if they'd like alfresco sex.

God sounds absolutely awful. Seconded on the suggestions of classical music which really does act like Kryptonite to antisocial behaviour.

I’d be so tempted to accidentally take out the TV with an air rifle

A word of warning, OP: Do not engage in 'revenge noise' no matter how tempting it can be. Or your case could turn into a revenge complaint against you, brought by your neighbour.

Size had everything to do with it. The one shouting her mouth off was tiny she could eat her for breakfast.

It’s not snobby to expect people to act like civilised human beings instead of selfish morons

It is snobby to assume that the only people who could possibly act like "selfish morons" are private or council tenants.

Actually our elderly neighbour was a nightmare, she would fall asleep listening to radio 4 on full volume, with her windows open.
Classic FM belting out whilst she was gardening outside.
We'd ask her to tone it down and she would bless her, but her cognitive problems meant that after a day she would forget that we'd ever asked.

Urgh... poor you. Can you get a WiFi blocker a la burglars stopping Ring doorbells?

Otherwise I think Mozart sounds a great idea. One of his operas... maybe Don Giovanni; nice and light for a summer evening. That'll really fuck them up.

Wagner, Philip Glass, Stockhausen

Melvyn Bragg “In Our Time” on a loop

start chatting to other neighbours, find out if they would join you in making a complaint to council, council can contact landlord about complaints.
Get as much evidence as possible ie loud music abusive language, ect.
Have cameras on back of house to pick up these.
That device that omits a high frequency noise that someone else mentioned on here sounds like a great idea and the universal remote to turn tv off....they will think it's broke lol.
Best of luck I hope you can find out who the landlord is, they need to know so hopefully they will give them notice to quit 🙏

I didn’t say they are but you can’t turn your garden into drinking den party venue it’s plain idiotic.

I’m more for a less confrontational approach when it comes to these types.

I would secretly film them and find out who the LL is and pass on the footage. I would also purchase a universal remote control and constantly turn off their tv.

We had this for a while (neighbour rented their house out for the summer to a perpetual party).

1. If you don't have children yourself, try a mosquito alarm. Silent to most adults, very annoying to teens.
2. A gadget I bought on Amazon called "tvBgone". It turns any television off when you press the button - it was about a tenner at the time. This stopped the garden television as they assume there was problem with it. It's a marvellous device and I have also used to to great effect turning off those loud infomercial televisions you get in diy shops near the long queues.

Try to nudge them indoors, then nudge them to keep their windows closed. And goodness don't call the police when they fight - let natural selection thin the herd.

Thin the heard 😂

These days people are so selfish with all their garden paraphernalia. bring back the days when it was a deckchair, a push mower, and kids just playing ball who were told to shut up if they got noisy.
the trouble is they are enjoying themselves and do not give a toss about anyone else; they seem like that through and through
If you ring the police, you risk retribution, but does the council have a department that deals with noise nuisance? I think they do, and often they set up cameras to record things. I know if it was HA, it would be eviction, but I think they must be able to do something.
I'm sorry not be able to suggest anything else, but just to day you have my sympathy.__

I'd be committing murder. You need to move. Scum won't change. 💐

This sounds awful - I do feel for you. I agree that the ray of hope is the other neighbours beginning to respond. If you are able to speak to a few of them you may feel less alone with this and able to co-ordinate any response, if they seem sensible in their approach.

Do you think any of this might be revenge for you (quite reasonably) calling the police or is this just a household that just don't give a crap about their effect on others? This would affect my response - ignore and hope they get tired of it if first, but complain if second.

The mosquito and universal remote are great ideas. Storing those up myself for future use!