Dh makes no effort to take a good photo at all, to the point I very rarely ask

[IsThisOkorWhat]

Bit it’s actually making me pissed off
it the lack of effort and laziness of it

What’s a good photo? Is he expected to take a mini photo shoot every time?

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DLAgGAGuX5k/?igsh=a3UwOXF0cTA5MzV0

a full song all about this.

My DH is the same, it’s one of the few things about him that I loathe. YANBU OP. You’ll get responses here as if you’re vain and shallow and controlling - in reality, it’s just wanting the person you love and who loves you to take a minute for something that matters to you, and that will enhance your enjoyment of a moment by allowing you to relive it with a positive reminder.

DH constantly says how I’m just so good at taking photos of him and the kids - we have a thousand gorgeous photos of them, and none of me. I’m not better at taking photos, I just bother to look at what I’m taking and adjust. It’s not hard.

Yes it’s exactly that
hes been like this for years so I hardly ever ask him to take one
I’m not talking. About mini photo shoot just one decent pic
but he doesn’t bother to try, stands there looking pissed off while taking the photo
say you say can you raise it a little higher
he then will be silly and rise it upto the ceiling etc

im obviously going to just have to get myself some sort of set up for the v v rare occasion I want a photo of me in it

then he causes a bad vibe over it

it’s actually the lack of effort and laziness and that fact I do so much for everyone else every single day and I rarely ever ask anything
and that can’t even be done with a good spirit

I have hundreds of lovely photos of DH and DD and theres maybe 5 of me and DD in existence, and she’s 11! No one even thought to take any of me and her when she was newborn and it makes me so sad, so I understand.

haha my DH is exactly the same.

He hates having his photo taken and will often refuse unless he really can't get out of it! I think he gets embarrassed taking them or something or just doesn't value taking it. I've lost count of the number of photos that are 90% pavement and 10% me in the background or me to the far right of a photo with a bloody road sign right in the middle of the shot. I get a bit bossy when he does a photo now or I make him take loads and hope that at least one is half decent.

My family were the sort for whom a photo had to have people in it (here’s us in front of a lovely view) whereas my husband’s family were the sort who took photos of the view.

Once the children were older, they would take photos of me.

My Dh is an actual photographer with a variety of cameras and still 90% of the photos he takes of me i look demented in.
Granted he's not a portrait photographer but honestly would it kill him to have a proper go?
I take lovely pictures of him and the kids all the time. They are gonna think he was a single dad when they look back over the photo albums lol!!

Same here, but I’ve never asked him to take a photo of me! I’m sure he’d oblige if I asked to be fair but I don’t like posed photos, prefer spontaneous natural ones. I did ask him to take a few of me and the dc when were on holiday recently - obviously these were posed but it feels less twatty when it’s a family
shot than if it were just a posed one of me somehow 😂 I’m not a natural in front of the camera though, very awkward so I’m not about to start asking him to take any of me unless my dc are also in it!

Sorry he’s not been cooperative for you though op, you’ve actually asked and he’s been a dick about it. It’s not like you’re asking him to create a bloody oil painting of you, dedicating hours of his life to it - it’s literally a 2 second job to get a decent snap on a phone camera.

Don’t take any with him in. Or take some unflattering ones and share them widely. He’s taking you for granted.

Maybe start taking photos of him the same, zoom into his nostrils, or just of his chin. He might complain and then you can ask him why it is different for him.

On the other hand can I point out that you acknowledge you give lots and he doesn't give anything so what does he bring to your relationship that is good? Maybe you can still give your all but it doesn't include him in that.

Dh many years ago looked up how to take good photos before Ds1 was born. With digital cameras and now on phones he will take several shots, we all know to move our heads slightly so that each shot is not exactly the same, he also moves the camera around for different angles. It takes seconds.

As a reminder you never know if the last photo you take or the one taken of you is the last they can ever take. People get sick, have accidents and are gone, forever. Video people to capture their voice or narrate your own.

Book a prof photo shoot and don't invite him

Are you making him take photos of you OP.? And if so why?
I dont get the reasoning behind making your H take photos of you if he doesn't want to.

I dont get what is going on why are you forcing someone to take a photo?

There are barely any photos of me with my children, loads of him with them and we are now divorced so it massively enrages me that the only records I have of our kids growing up he is in most of them and I am in none. He should want to have a record of nice times you have together

It's important for photos of parents, loved ones to be "banked" for children. OP could die tomorrow and her kids would be left with shit photos of their mum. That's why it is important.

But they don’t need hundreds, which is what everyone has now on their phones. One or two a year would be fine, and you can get those at Christmas with family or other occasions with friends.

We’ve gone too far: it’s like people (especially young women) don’t feel they’ve experienced something unless they’ve got 30 photos and a video of it on their phone.

I actually love this idea !!

I’ve already explained can’t remember the last time I asked him
and we didn’t even take any photos at Xmas
as can’t be bothered S this isn’t the first time so I only snapped a couple of the kids

butyes over the years there’s a decent amount of pics of him with the kids and good ones
less pics of me and the ones we do have half of them are half arsed eyes closed and he’s not then looked at the photo to see if it’s any good
etc

it just laziness and selfish ness and tbh I’m stating it things doing it on purpose

tonight was a special occasion
v v rare
asked for a photo only wanted one decent one
the floor length dress I was wearing
was half cut off
cut of the photo to about the knee etc

weve Spoken about this now an she says he’ll make more effort but he won’t as we’ve had this exact convo before So like everting else in life I’m gonna have to figure out a way to do it myself in the v v v odd occasion I want a photo
a x trust me that’s not often this is the first time this year even and longer

Mine does take ok photos occasionally but would NEVER do it unless I asked where I have hundreds of gorgeous candid ones of him and the kids.

I’m going going to try to bring my sons up to take gorgeous pics of their spouses ☺️

This seems to be a very common complaint. My DH makes an effort to take more photos of me and the kids when I complained we didn't have many but I look shit in most of them. He doesn't seem to see it though - I think I'm more critical of my appearance than he is generally.

Yep I have to ask, say we’re on a day out “can you take a few natural shots of me with kids”
because it was getting where he looked like this hands on dad and I wasn’t there
Not saying all men but it does seem to be the case that most men don’t care about photos.. when someone gets the photo album out to reminisce it’s usually a woman isn’t it.
Unless it’s photos of a hobby/job/cars etc

YANBU, DH never takes photos of me or DS on days out or anything; it’s always up to me to take a few just so I have a record of DS growing up. As I take them I’m very rarely in them. I’m not asking for a stunningly flattering photo, just to be in some family snaps. Even my DF has commented on it.

I could have written this too op

It’s also important in case something happens then the dc would want to have some photos to remember their mum by!
My dh would take pics but they’re usually pretty awful! He does however every now and then if we’re somewhere amazing, get us all together and do a family picture using the timer. It’s nice to have those posed family pics.