Friend dating ex

[MrsRaspberry]

As the title suggests a close friend of mine is dating my ex which I will start by saying totally isn't a problem as I was the one who ended the relationship after him accusing me of aborting his baby when I'd had a miscarriage. Friend knew this too. She messaged on a group chat on WhatsApp two weeks ago saying she was seeing some guy and sent a pic of him and told us the guys name(this wasn't my ex) then days later on the same group chat she says "guys name"says hi I'm like oh who's he and she put a pic up. I was like oh that's my ex Lol she said yeah I know he told me. So they've been seeing one another all of a week. She's saying they're discussing marriage etc like I'm happy for her but it just seems like she WANTS me to be jealous and find it awkward when I don't I have no interest in the guy. Our friend asked who was going to a stripper night and she pipes up with "well I have my own stripper now-oh sorry MrsRaspberry must be awkward for you" like no it isn't at all..she's even said it in the group chat like I know it must be awkward for you but we just click naturally. Like is it just me or is she wanting to try to make things awkward for some attention?

She sounds like she has a lack of judgement really, don't reply to or engage with her nonsense

Message her saying “ Look, if you think I have any interest in this guy or have a problem with you dating him, you really are very much mistaken. I hope you’ll be very happy together.”

She isn't a friend.
She's trying to Wendy you from the friendship group.
I really hope that your abusive ex puts her through hell as she deserves it for being such a nasty stupid bitch by getting with him in the 1st place and then trying to rub it in.
Has she always been so jealous of you?

“No worries FRIENDNAME, nothing for you to feel awkward about. I broke up with EXNAME because he wasn’t what I was looking for in a partner. There’s no hard feelings on my end - i hadn’t even thought of him in years! 😂 I hope it works out for you both. Xx”

* or if you’re open to sharing “…I broke up with EXNAME because he accused me of having an abortion when I had a miscarriage and I felt he wasn’t supportive”

Then distance yourself slowly - she’s not a friend worth investing time and energy in.

Just ignore it and don't be drawn into to any game playing ,I wouldn't respond to anything or if i did respond I would just put a 👍
The more she does it the dafter she will look

"If you are happy with my leftovers good for you"

"I don't have a problem with you dating someone I felt wasn't good enough for me"

Or the politer

"Happy for you. Hope he treats you well"

How long have you been split up? Was she your friend when you were with him? Its not like there isn't other men out there so I wouldn't go for a friends ex personally unless the dating pool was very small aka coronation street style

Wow that's harsh. You hope her ex partner abuses her friend?

What did you have in mind? Physical abuse? Emotional?

Seems a very strange thing to hope for.

She sounds desperate and embarrassing

The first mistake you made is calling this girl your "friend" I know you are not remotely interested in this guy but honestly the way she tells you she is dating him by posting a picture it shows how heartless she is. Her behaviour is the only embarrassing and awkward thing to be honest shes trying to make an issue out of something that isn't there for you who has clearly moved on. To me it screams "I won i got the man" when in reality she got sloppy seconds that you no longer care about or want.id be tempted to say: oh dont worry been there, already done that I have no interest but hope it works out between you both. Or haha if I had of cared I wouldn't of broken up with him, no embarrassment my end and I hope u don't feel embarrassed either knowing we already dated. Just because I wasn't happy in the relationship doesn't meant u two won't be. I mean with her attitude she does deserve to be taken down a peg or two

For me, dating a friends ex is unacceptable. But I’ve come to realise that’s not how everyone else behaves.
She’s not a friend. Step back and say nothing. He’ll do the same to her, and when he does make sure it’s not your shoulder she’s crying on.

They're discussing marriage after a week? They're both nuts. Honestly, she's not a friend.
I'd just blank her little digs, or ask a mutual friend to comment along the lines of 'you know MrsRaspberry dumped him?'

She's not your friend. You're not that close if the only reason she knew he was your ex was that he told her, so I'd distance myself further. Unless you like drama.

Oh, she really is desperate for you to be jealous of her, isn't she? 'Talking marriage' - she threw that in in the hopes that you'd be doubled up in tears sobbing 'why didn't he want to marry meeeeeeee.'

She is no friend. Tell her that you hope she'll be very happy with him and just hope that he doesn't treat her as badly as he treated you, then block the pair of them and let her perform her love for him to an uncaring audience. I give it about a fortnight.

Remind her he’s your ex for a reason.

Depending on how long you have been split up, it could be that he has sought her out in order to make you jealous. It won't go far when he finds out you couldn't give a monkeys and give it 0 headspace or interaction. It will be him feeding her all these lines.

Imagine being this desperate for a man. She's not your friend, but you should already know that.

He’s not dating her to get back at you, is he? That could be the source of the awkwardness and one up mashup on her part. I’d just reply, ‘Haha, no worries. It wasn’t serious and we moved on long ago. You and him are much better suited 😁’

Other than having both bad taste in men how on earth is she a friend, there doesn't seem much intelligence there really

Why do you really get out of this friendship yourself?

"Haha, don't be silly, couldn't care less :) x"

And if she says something again after that say
"I already told you, I really don't care! Do people really get so bothered about who their exes are dating? 😂"

And if it happens again, after you've given her multiple chances to calm down about it, just say
"Why do you keep saying that? I told you I REALLY don't care. Stop being weird about it. I left him for a reason. I don't want him and it makes no difference to me who he ends up with! Be happy with him and chill xx"

£10 says he told 'friend' he'd ended it with OP

She sounds strange like she would prefer you are upset about it.

I would just respond with no problem at all. Avoid sending any messages with negativity. From the sounds of things it will please her. But you can just shut it down by being neutral all the time.

I would respond: Haha! You’re welcome to him! 😂

I think you are doing the right thing in your responses so far. I would stay neutral, don’t listen to some of the suggestions for loaded comments. Say ‘happy for you both’ in the group chat if she mentions it again so she can’t spin any angle to your other friends. Hopefully she will pipe down about it soon enough if she isn’t getting the reaction she hoped for out of you.

Your 'friend' sounds completely nuts and quite unpleasant. She is definitely trying to get attention and wants to make you jealous - which is ironic because your ex is very clearly a horrible man and you are well rid of him.

If they're talking about marriage after a week, he's probably love-bombing her and she will soon find out what he's really like. He's probably told her loads of lies about you too. You are absolutely doing the right thing in your responses.

The 'I've got my own stripper' comment was not only weird but also disrespectful to the whole group, frankly - it's like she's implying that you'd all have to be single/miserable/desperate to go and see a male stripper group and that she's better than you all because she doesn't 'need' to. What a cow.